I don't know what to do. I'm lost as a parent and good friend of my ex (me 34, her 32). We separated and have been living apart for 3 years. We finalized our divorce earlier this year. We have a 6 year old son together that we share 50/50. I have him Wed - Sun evening or Wed - Sat night depending on the week due to my ex's work schedule. Generally, everything has been very amicable. We are able to work through everything concerning our son. I've helped support her financially and tried to be a friend to her when she needs one as well. She's important in my life.
I dated someone with a child for a little over a year and this relationship ended in April. I wasn't falling in love with her the way I expected to, she had a lack of motivation about things, grumpy, and things just working out long term for me. We didn't live together, but on occasion we had sleepovers, flew to Houston to visit her family for a few days, and would hang out a couple times a week (though most of the time it was without my son).
I don't have really any friends in the state I live in other than my ex and co-workers of mine. I started dating someone new at the end of May. She is someone that I am falling for, and would be someone that would want to be with me very long term, if not forever.
At the end of June, I introduced my girlfriend to my son with a group of friends at the lake as they were doing paddle boarding activities and I thought it would be a good group activity for me to meet friends as well as my son to have a good time and play outside and participate. I told my ex and she got upset stating I was disrespecting her.
Three years ago we discussed that we would introduce each other to a significant other before our child meets them. I didn't really think about that in this way since we were doing a group thing. She said that she didn't want people coming in and out of our son's life because that's what she had to deal with growing up. She wants our son to know what normal relationships are. I apologized, and asked my ex at the beginning of July if she can meet my girlfriend. She said yes, but this is the last time I'd be doing something like this for a while. I told her I feel strongly about her and it is really important for me to have this happen. It has not happened yet. When she started dating her boyfriend two years ago, she asked if I wanted to meet him before my son met him, I said no, and I would meet him eventually. I trusted her to make the right choice in having a significant other.
On July 3, she called me an said she didn't want to ruin any 4th of July plans. She said that she is okay with me hanging out with my girlfriend and my son together if I keep it as friends, no sleepovers. I have kept up to that on my end.
She texted me today upset because I hung out with my son and her last night at a drive in movie. She apparently meant that we could only hang out that one time, but during our phone call she didn't specify that. I told her she didn't and she didn't understand until she talked with her boyfriend and he confirmed the same thing I thought, that she meant it not just as a one time thing. She apologized after that, but said she's over being disrespected, being taken advantage of, and being talked to the way she's talked to.
I do my best to be a good friend to her, to help her when she asks for help. What does she mean about being talked to a certain way? Sometimes she calls for technical help about something and thinks I'm answering in a snoody, condescending way. Maybe I do come off as that if it's something like as not being able to access her frequent flyer miles login, the reset password isn't working for her, and I tell her "I don't know, I'm not Frontier, the only thing I can do is try the same steps for you". Maybe I feel thats something her and/or her boyfriend can figure out together.
I want to have things work out, I always have. I feel that I'm fair, and I do a lot of things for her and my son. But it's already affecting the relationship I'm trying to build. I'm lost, I'm stuck. Should she be that involved with my life? Am I being unreasonable? I'm not a drama person, but I get anxiety from chaos and drama.
I dated someone with a child for a little over a year and this relationship ended in April. I wasn't falling in love with her the way I expected to, she had a lack of motivation about things, grumpy, and things just working out long term for me. We didn't live together, but on occasion we had sleepovers, flew to Houston to visit her family for a few days, and would hang out a couple times a week (though most of the time it was without my son).
I don't have really any friends in the state I live in other than my ex and co-workers of mine. I started dating someone new at the end of May. She is someone that I am falling for, and would be someone that would want to be with me very long term, if not forever.
At the end of June, I introduced my girlfriend to my son with a group of friends at the lake as they were doing paddle boarding activities and I thought it would be a good group activity for me to meet friends as well as my son to have a good time and play outside and participate. I told my ex and she got upset stating I was disrespecting her.
Three years ago we discussed that we would introduce each other to a significant other before our child meets them. I didn't really think about that in this way since we were doing a group thing. She said that she didn't want people coming in and out of our son's life because that's what she had to deal with growing up. She wants our son to know what normal relationships are. I apologized, and asked my ex at the beginning of July if she can meet my girlfriend. She said yes, but this is the last time I'd be doing something like this for a while. I told her I feel strongly about her and it is really important for me to have this happen. It has not happened yet. When she started dating her boyfriend two years ago, she asked if I wanted to meet him before my son met him, I said no, and I would meet him eventually. I trusted her to make the right choice in having a significant other.
On July 3, she called me an said she didn't want to ruin any 4th of July plans. She said that she is okay with me hanging out with my girlfriend and my son together if I keep it as friends, no sleepovers. I have kept up to that on my end.
She texted me today upset because I hung out with my son and her last night at a drive in movie. She apparently meant that we could only hang out that one time, but during our phone call she didn't specify that. I told her she didn't and she didn't understand until she talked with her boyfriend and he confirmed the same thing I thought, that she meant it not just as a one time thing. She apologized after that, but said she's over being disrespected, being taken advantage of, and being talked to the way she's talked to.
I do my best to be a good friend to her, to help her when she asks for help. What does she mean about being talked to a certain way? Sometimes she calls for technical help about something and thinks I'm answering in a snoody, condescending way. Maybe I do come off as that if it's something like as not being able to access her frequent flyer miles login, the reset password isn't working for her, and I tell her "I don't know, I'm not Frontier, the only thing I can do is try the same steps for you". Maybe I feel thats something her and/or her boyfriend can figure out together.
I want to have things work out, I always have. I feel that I'm fair, and I do a lot of things for her and my son. But it's already affecting the relationship I'm trying to build. I'm lost, I'm stuck. Should she be that involved with my life? Am I being unreasonable? I'm not a drama person, but I get anxiety from chaos and drama.