Okay a week or so.
Last Friday my Dad passed away, his funeral was today. I don't know what went on there, a month or so ago the doctors were saying he had up to a year, but he just deteriorated very quickly, apparently that isn't unusual with pancreatic cancer though.
It was a hard week, my mother flat out refused to plan the funeral, she was happy to put her demands in, but she didn't want to do any of the work involved. I can understand that from one view, really, no one wants to plan their partner's funeral, but it came down to me and Grandma and she made the whole process very difficult. She didn't want Grandma to do the eulogy, but she didn't want to do it, and she told me that she didn't want the people from the church to see me and know that I was their daughter. Grandma ended up doing it, and Mum criticised it.
I tried really hard to incorporate all the religious elements Mum wanted, but I don't have that knowledge of their religion and faith to have done ti justice apparently. I tried.
Ash and Dita weren't allowed to be there, as per Dad's wishes apparently, I don't know if that was really his wishes or Mum's, but I wasn't up for the argument. It very well could have been Dad's wishes. None of the kids went, Sasha didn't really know him and the other's don't have fond memories. I rather them be at school anyway.
Following the burial I was told by the priest that my mother didn't want me to attend the wake at the church hall, he was really uncomfortable, the poor guy, I don't blame him at all, he's just the messenger, but it rubbed me the wrong way.
I don't feel sad, just frustrated and exhausted. I don't know if it has really hit yet because I have been so pre-occupied with being bossed around all week. I don't know what is going to happen with my mother either.
Last Friday my Dad passed away, his funeral was today. I don't know what went on there, a month or so ago the doctors were saying he had up to a year, but he just deteriorated very quickly, apparently that isn't unusual with pancreatic cancer though.
It was a hard week, my mother flat out refused to plan the funeral, she was happy to put her demands in, but she didn't want to do any of the work involved. I can understand that from one view, really, no one wants to plan their partner's funeral, but it came down to me and Grandma and she made the whole process very difficult. She didn't want Grandma to do the eulogy, but she didn't want to do it, and she told me that she didn't want the people from the church to see me and know that I was their daughter. Grandma ended up doing it, and Mum criticised it.
I tried really hard to incorporate all the religious elements Mum wanted, but I don't have that knowledge of their religion and faith to have done ti justice apparently. I tried.
Ash and Dita weren't allowed to be there, as per Dad's wishes apparently, I don't know if that was really his wishes or Mum's, but I wasn't up for the argument. It very well could have been Dad's wishes. None of the kids went, Sasha didn't really know him and the other's don't have fond memories. I rather them be at school anyway.
Following the burial I was told by the priest that my mother didn't want me to attend the wake at the church hall, he was really uncomfortable, the poor guy, I don't blame him at all, he's just the messenger, but it rubbed me the wrong way.
I don't feel sad, just frustrated and exhausted. I don't know if it has really hit yet because I have been so pre-occupied with being bossed around all week. I don't know what is going to happen with my mother either.
I am glad all of that is over for you. I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. You are the bigger person for being there at all, let alone helping like you did.