My son will be 8 in the coming weeks and we have a 10 yr old girl. The summary is that our boy sometimes raises some concerns for me and my wife due to his behaviour. He simply just wants things his way - and sometimes he will take that to the extreme. When he was younger his shoes has to be lined up for him to put them on. Or his pencils laid in a specific way on the table for him to use them. Well, he got over that but still holds to some really extreme behaviours that drives us crazy.
Take today for example, he wakes up and, as usual, comes to cuddle up with us for 10mins. We get up and ask him to brush his teeth and get dressed before coming downstairs for breakfast. We have some music on in the morning to wake us up. 5 mins later he is still fooling around. Same 10 mins later. I tell him that breakfast (porridge) is ready and getting colder. He's still in pyjamas and hasn't brushed his teeth. After a bit he starts screaming from upstairs saying he needs trousers. I go get some trousers but as I am about to take some upstairs, he starts screaming for someone to put the music off (he knows however, that he just needs to press the button on the speakers - since he does that when his sister is listening to her music just to tease her). I go to him but don't take the trousers with me, and tell him to put off the music himself. However, he doesn't. He wants me to press the button. Oh dear. I keep going up and down the stairs and he, still in pyjamas, cannot press a single button. I told him if I have to come again turn off the music, he'll lose screen time for the day. Of course he doesn't. He keeps screaming for me to do it. So when I come again upstairs to punish him, he runs to the speakers and turns the music off. Then he wants the trousers to be brought upstairs... I tell him that the trousers are downstairs and after all this music problem and me going up and down, he should get ready and put his trousers on downstairs. Well, he doesn't... he waits and waits and waits until I tell him he has 10mins to school and we are going to let school know he'll be late. Then he starts crying, brushes his teeth and comes downstairs to get his trousers and breakfast. But it's not finished. Then, of course, the breakfast was cold. He demands me to warm it up. However, since we put yoghurt and banana on top of the porridge we can't just warm it up. After I explain to him, he then wants me to mix it. I go, "what? you're almost 8 and I have to mix your porridge? Is this something you only learn when you're 12?"
As time for school runs out, I give in and mix his porridge and send him on his way. He has days like this... a lot of his behaviour feel on the one hand really lazy. He wants me to keep going up and down to bring trousers, turn off music, do this, do that and he can't even put his pyjamas off and brush his teeth. On the other hand, I am worried that there's some underlying reason for his behaviour that I am missing and just doing things wrong.
Like, of course, I could just do everything he asks but what would I then be teaching him. On the other hand, if I don't he can just stay there and way until I do or get me so upset that I end up threatening his screen time. I am keen to hearing what other parents have to say. I don't have much contact with other parents so unsure this is common behaviour. It is also not fair to compare him with our daughter, who was always a lot more independent.
Thanks.
Pai
Take today for example, he wakes up and, as usual, comes to cuddle up with us for 10mins. We get up and ask him to brush his teeth and get dressed before coming downstairs for breakfast. We have some music on in the morning to wake us up. 5 mins later he is still fooling around. Same 10 mins later. I tell him that breakfast (porridge) is ready and getting colder. He's still in pyjamas and hasn't brushed his teeth. After a bit he starts screaming from upstairs saying he needs trousers. I go get some trousers but as I am about to take some upstairs, he starts screaming for someone to put the music off (he knows however, that he just needs to press the button on the speakers - since he does that when his sister is listening to her music just to tease her). I go to him but don't take the trousers with me, and tell him to put off the music himself. However, he doesn't. He wants me to press the button. Oh dear. I keep going up and down the stairs and he, still in pyjamas, cannot press a single button. I told him if I have to come again turn off the music, he'll lose screen time for the day. Of course he doesn't. He keeps screaming for me to do it. So when I come again upstairs to punish him, he runs to the speakers and turns the music off. Then he wants the trousers to be brought upstairs... I tell him that the trousers are downstairs and after all this music problem and me going up and down, he should get ready and put his trousers on downstairs. Well, he doesn't... he waits and waits and waits until I tell him he has 10mins to school and we are going to let school know he'll be late. Then he starts crying, brushes his teeth and comes downstairs to get his trousers and breakfast. But it's not finished. Then, of course, the breakfast was cold. He demands me to warm it up. However, since we put yoghurt and banana on top of the porridge we can't just warm it up. After I explain to him, he then wants me to mix it. I go, "what? you're almost 8 and I have to mix your porridge? Is this something you only learn when you're 12?"
As time for school runs out, I give in and mix his porridge and send him on his way. He has days like this... a lot of his behaviour feel on the one hand really lazy. He wants me to keep going up and down to bring trousers, turn off music, do this, do that and he can't even put his pyjamas off and brush his teeth. On the other hand, I am worried that there's some underlying reason for his behaviour that I am missing and just doing things wrong.
Like, of course, I could just do everything he asks but what would I then be teaching him. On the other hand, if I don't he can just stay there and way until I do or get me so upset that I end up threatening his screen time. I am keen to hearing what other parents have to say. I don't have much contact with other parents so unsure this is common behaviour. It is also not fair to compare him with our daughter, who was always a lot more independent.
Thanks.
Pai