Hello,
Thanks for reading, please be patient and sorry for the rambling.
Trying to help my wife and step kids.
Wife of two years, she was single for a year before.
Two teenagers, now 16 and 13.
Wife was diagnosed bipolar after hitting her with the proverbial baseball bat to get her to see someone. She admitted repeatedly during the course of her adult life she was "crazy". Medication has taken hold and she's much calmer and focused. Previously the kids pretty much did what they wanted with little repercussion. Granted they aren't wildcats but the oldest has become flat out defiant and disrespectful after calm and steadfast attempts to get her to do chores and take care of our pets. She also has a knack for emulating the psychology of who she's with. I'm sure she's confused now with the lack of Moms unbalanced behavior. It seems almost like it was a game to her, watching Mom sway back and forth in behavior. Mom also had a habit of saying whatever came to mind, without regard for situation or feelings of others. That's gone for the most part. <whew> The oldest was seeing a professional to deal with the seperation of her biological parents. That is out of the question now due to distance and she refuses to give anyone else a chance. Mom says she doesn't have time to take her but she certainly had time when it came to her current relationship with her husband. I always tell her, "If it's important, you'll make time." I'm away from home 10-11 hours a day so it's difficult for me to do anything.
The youngest seems well balanced and is willing to listen and help out. The oldest accuses favoritism. Her point is understood but how do you treat one person that gets it, and one that doesn't the same? I don't have any of my own kids, and am a very "to the point" kind of person. There is no sugar coating here. I'll explain things to both of them, the next day one does, one doesn't. I'm sorry, but where I come from you don't "spit" on someone and expect to get roses. Yes, they are still young, and I'm well aware of my own failings. How do you explain to her it's time to grow up? <sigh>
Thanks for listening,
Turbulent ( & at wits end )
Thanks for reading, please be patient and sorry for the rambling.
Trying to help my wife and step kids.
Wife of two years, she was single for a year before.
Two teenagers, now 16 and 13.
Wife was diagnosed bipolar after hitting her with the proverbial baseball bat to get her to see someone. She admitted repeatedly during the course of her adult life she was "crazy". Medication has taken hold and she's much calmer and focused. Previously the kids pretty much did what they wanted with little repercussion. Granted they aren't wildcats but the oldest has become flat out defiant and disrespectful after calm and steadfast attempts to get her to do chores and take care of our pets. She also has a knack for emulating the psychology of who she's with. I'm sure she's confused now with the lack of Moms unbalanced behavior. It seems almost like it was a game to her, watching Mom sway back and forth in behavior. Mom also had a habit of saying whatever came to mind, without regard for situation or feelings of others. That's gone for the most part. <whew> The oldest was seeing a professional to deal with the seperation of her biological parents. That is out of the question now due to distance and she refuses to give anyone else a chance. Mom says she doesn't have time to take her but she certainly had time when it came to her current relationship with her husband. I always tell her, "If it's important, you'll make time." I'm away from home 10-11 hours a day so it's difficult for me to do anything.
The youngest seems well balanced and is willing to listen and help out. The oldest accuses favoritism. Her point is understood but how do you treat one person that gets it, and one that doesn't the same? I don't have any of my own kids, and am a very "to the point" kind of person. There is no sugar coating here. I'll explain things to both of them, the next day one does, one doesn't. I'm sorry, but where I come from you don't "spit" on someone and expect to get roses. Yes, they are still young, and I'm well aware of my own failings. How do you explain to her it's time to grow up? <sigh>
Thanks for listening,
Turbulent ( & at wits end )
