Children and Affection

[Track]

Hey there Forum,

Long time reader, first time poster (just signed up).

I have been wondering about something very off and on over the years. It is about my 13 year old daughter.

For as long as I can remember, my daughter has never given my wife or me a kiss good morning, good bye, or good night. She will come up to us and give a hug and if one of us is sleeping she will put her check against ours. She will allow us to hug her and kiss her on the check. I asked her one day about why she doesn’t kiss on the cheek and she shrugged and said I don’t know. I didn’t feel the need to know more than that.

I didn’t grow up this way. Everyone always kissed everyone. I honestly don’t think much of it but I have always wondered if this is a symptom of something else going on or just is what it is.

Just wondering what people’s thoughts are.

 

[Moonstone]

I'm not a big physical affection kind of person either. I don't remember kissing my parents on the cheek when I was a preteen/teen. The only people I kiss are my husband and daughter.

It sounds like she gives affection in other ways (hugs). I think you should read up a little on Love Languages and see if hers is different than physical - does she provide you with undivided attention when another teen would be on their phone or complaining? Does she do chores or other acts of service without being asked or expecting anything in return? Is she a gift giver?

There are lots of ways people can show affection outside of kissing. Let us know what you think after reading about Love Languages.

 

[Track]

Appreciate the response. My daughter never kissed when younger either and she doesn’t really hug but will be hugged. I will reflect on your post and will look up your suggestion. At the moment I can’t really say yes to any of your inquiry questions but she is a good kid.

 

[Cheeco305]

Nah I've always been all over my son's since birth. They say I love u every minute, kiss me good bye, good morning, every chance they get. I love it, I even have an autistic 3 year old that used to hate getting hugged and kissed two years ago and now he holds me so hard and tries to kiss me by putting his lips on my cheeks, he doesn't know how to kiss. But here are my guys.

 

[Billok]

I believe that it is totally normal and every child develop in its own way