Concerns about my 6 yr old twin girl......

[needhalc]

Hello,

My husband & I have become increasingly concerned about my daughter, who is a twin (she has a brother). Over the last 2 yrs or so, she has had problems playing with others, mostly girls. She plays better with boys. But with girls, everytime she plays, it seems to go the same way: they start playing fine for a while, then she wants them to do what she wants, they don't, they start playing with my son which really makes her upset and usually hides in the house in her room or watching TV. Its sad because I think she just stays inside and hides from her friends sometimes because it always ends up bad...she seems to be becoming more isolated. She falls apart when things don't go her way...more than what I would say is typical. It doesn't help that her twin brother is very charming and gets along well all the time with almost anyone. She is an extremely sensitive child and also craves attention...even when we give her way more than her brother...she would be a great only child. On the other hand, she is a real pleaser, and sweet and kind...but tough too. She doesn't seem to have the coping skills to deal with these issues, and no amount of subtle advice I have given is helping. I don't know how to help her. Also lately she has been very worried about death, that one of us will die or she will die. Every night she cries and worries. It just seems like too many worries for such a little girl. We have a stable, active family life, and she does well in school. I keep thinking that the twin thing may be more of the problem than I realize. My husband thought that maybe we should try a child phycologist even its just to help us with our parenting of her. Any ideas?

 

[fallon]

your 6 yr old daughter sounds a lot like mine. How much mother daughter time do the 2 of you? I ask because I find with my daughter the best time for us to talk about things that are going on in her life is when it's just the 2 of us and we're doing something fun together. During times like that she is much more open and honest about her feelings

 

[needhalc]

We get as much as possible, but she is with her dad most often. My husband is a stay at home dad since they were 4, I was stay at home mom before that. I have wondered that too...that she wasn't getting enough time with me. But really we are together all the time when I don't work, and my schedule isn't too demanding. We do something special at least every week. I guess I'm not sure what else too ask...I have asked every question I can think of. There is one little girl down the street that has been a real thorn in our sides. My daughter & her were close, but honestly this child is mean and a bully. She has said so many hurtful things to my daughter, things that have crushed her. Telling her that clothes are ugly, she is ugly, you name it. Sometimes I wonder if its had a real permanant affect on her, since the timing is about right. Thank goodness they are not in the same class. I know that her self confidence seems very low, even though she has everything going for her from looks to ability to brains. They have been on the outs now for a while, but this girl still plays with my son. What can you do, they are in the same culdesac?

 

[fallon]

it's a hard age for sure...little girls wanting to be big girls, and all the emotions in between. I find myself sometimes feeling that my daughter is overly sensitive but really she just learning to how to cope the emotions that come along with growing up. Hormones and such make them react differently then boys in some situations.