CP Dad Needs Help...

[momandmore]

I am posting from my wife's account. I know from her that this isnt a legal advice forum but maybe someone can help me. My youngest daughters are 6 and 5. My ex wife just informed me that she wants a paternity test done on the 5 year old. I knew she cheated on me a lot and everyone already doubts that these are my biological children. We were married when both were born and I am on both birth certificates. I have sole, legal and full custody of my girls. I have been there since day one. even when she would leave and do whatever.
These kids are my world. We were divorced last September. She has seen them a total of 40 hours since then, her choice. She promises to pick them up and never does. I am so overwhelmed.

Can she take them from me even if they aren't mine?
I guess I should say just the 5 year old. The six year old looks nothing like me but she doesn't want her. She has never been a mother to these kids, or my older three children. She was very cruel to them so they went with me most of the time, unless I was working a regular job.

I have known the whole time it was probable that neither belonged to me but that doesn't matter to me. They are my kids.

Can she take them :veryconfused::arghh:

 

[mom2many]

Bumping for when t my computer, but my understanding is that legally? Even if not biologically, you are the father. Children born during a marriage are legally assumed to be the husbands child. My friends husband, before they were married, had a similar issue and he had to pay child support even though they were separated and living in different states.

 

[momandmore]

Thank you. I'm so scared. I'm scared to lose my child and if I do.. She probably won't end up with her bc she is very unstable and if she does, god help her. I just hope that's true. I read something like that earlier but it was california's rules and I'm in Indiana.
I don't even care about child support. The court filed that with their court order.


Thanks again. I just can't wait to talk to an attorney tomorrow. :wideeyed:

 

[akmom]

Are you in the United States? Every state has different laws, but I suspect they are very similar. In Alaska, where I live, a child is assumed to be the husband's if the mother is married to him at any point during her pregnancy. In order for another man to claim parental rights, both the biological father and mother's husband must sign affidavits acknowledging that. I only know one couple personally who did this, and the husband signed the affidavit because the child wasn't biologically his and he planned on divorcing the wife anyway.

Of course you will want to consult a lawyer, but I can't imagine the paternity making any legal difference unless the biological father is claiming parental rights. No court is just going to declare the children fatherless because of a biological technicality.

If you want, you can privately order a DNA test for your own personal use and see if this is even an issue. You don't have to share the results with anyone, or even acknowledge that you got the test. They're completely confidential and available from a few companies for a very modest price. The official ones that can be upheld in court are much more expensive.

 

[momandmore]

Thanks AKMom. I am in the states. Indiana. They do't seem to have much info online for Indiana, but what they do have is similar to a few other states. I didn' tcall an attorney yesterday. I am having so much anxiety over this. But I am building myself up to call one today.


and that is a very great idea that I hadn't thought of, the at home paternity test. Thank you so much for that. I may do that. I know that if the child she is wanting the test done on, she would belong to my cousin and he wouldn't want anything to do with her. My other child's biodad knows about her. he harrassed me when she was born asking how I like taking care of his kid so I know I don't have an issue there bc she doesn't want her and he doesn't either.


I do know that the tests that will uphold the court in my area have to be court ordered and I can contest the proposal. That is one of my questions for the attorney. How to go about doing that as well as submitting evidence such as recordings text messages and things like that so the judge will actually look at them.

If he would have looked at my evidence back in September, She wouldn't have even got the overnight visits as she cannot care for the children on her own due to disabilities and abusing medications. But the evidence I have now is so much more. It shows the way she talks to them, treats them differently, lies to them constantly.. it's not heresay... it's facts. and I want him to know that.

Thank you so much.. I will be looking into the paternity kits and am making a list to ask the attorney. Thank You!! :speechhuh_oh:

 

[Xero]

I am not a professional, but I believe you have nothing to worry about (other than drama). If anything, it might be nice to know the truth I guess, thankfully it doesn't matter to you because you are a good man and daddy. You were married, signed the birth certificate, and have raised this child and been her father her whole life, a paternity test is not likely to cause a judge to take her away from her. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

This whole description makes me so so sad for these little girls though!! :'(

 

[teenage_parent]

if the question is "can she?" the answer is yes she can as much as you can keep the kids.

she can drag you to court and if proven that they are not yours biologically, she can come up with evidences why you shouldn't keep the children.

but you can also prove that you are more deserving of the kids.

naturally, you will need to consult a lawyer. i think she can go to court and force to you to take a paternity test but whether or not she can take the kids away from you is a different matter altogether. just be prepared to fight for them and the drama that she will bring.

 

[momandmore]

Found out that the court will not issue a paternity test! They are mine in the courts' eyes and she can do NOTHING about it. Of course the drama as mentioned by another poster. She called me 15 times a couple of days ago just to fight and kept saying she would be here to pick them up. it's 10 pm where I live and she was to be here at 7.

I am just so beside myself with the information I got. I live in Indiana. So I help this post might help any future inquirers on the subject.

 

[mom2many]

Yay, glad this has become a non-issue!

 

[akmom]

Glad to hear you don't have to deal with this. I was skeptical that she'd be able to compel you to get a paternity test. It seems like only the biological father could do that, if he were claiming parental rights. Makes no sense why a mother would... it's not like a paternity test says anything about whether she's the mother, so what legal standing would she have? But you just never know...

Glad you don't have to deal with that one anymore!

 

[momandmore]

She wanted to take one of the girls from me but not the other. neither one of the bio dads wants anything to do with the children. I'm glad!!!! Thank you all so much!

 

[Xero]

Glad to hear that.

 

[momandmore]

Thank You! I didn't mean to sound rude or anything with my last post towards the boidads.. I just meant that I'm glad bc I am who they know as Dad. And if I can help it, that will never change!:verycool:

 

[mcmland]

Good for you. You deserve to be their father regardless of the bloodlines. Thank God you have full legal custody. I am a single dad as well. My daughter is adopted, and has no blood relation to either me or her mom (my ex) but it doesn't matter. She is my little girl all the same. Your ex and mine should get together. Mine had threatened throughout the whole divorce to try and take my daughter away from me, but guess what? In California, joint legal/physical custody is the norm, and that's what the judge decided, so I get her 50% of the time.

Congratulations on knowing your kids are safely in your care.

 

[momandmore]

Thanks all. Just an update. Court was a bust. She didn't even show up with now consequences and the judge didn't want to hear anything I had to say. He just kept saying to get an attorney. So that's my next step.

I do think it's BS b/c if the tables were turned and I didn't show up, I would be sitting in jail. But.. All I can do is move forward. Thanks for the support

 

[ElliottCarasDad]

Thanks all. Just an update. Court was a bust. She didn't even show up with now consequences and the judge didn't want to hear anything I had to say. He just kept saying to get an attorney. So that's my next step.

I do think it's BS b/c if the tables were turned and I didn't show up, I would be sitting in jail. But.. All I can do is move forward. Thanks for the support

I just read this thread and am confused. I thought you didnt have to go to court?

Also, take the big hint from the judge, GET A LAWYER!

 

[momandmore]

I just read this thread and am confused. I thought you didnt have to go to court?

Also, take the big hint from the judge, GET A LAWYER!

The lady in the clerk's office told me to file for contempt. I was extremely confused bc I knew that was only for the NCP. But still took her advice. So that's what court was for.
Yes.. I will be retaining a lawyer very soon!