I think my daughter is drinking when she goes out with her friends how can I talk to her about it?
Drinking?...
- Thread starter Maxinetshaw
- Start date
No offense, but you do realize you're "Mom" right? You have some rights that no other woman in the world has. Use them.Maxinetshaw said:
It's not that bad if she's more than 15 years old. The only thing you should do is to explain how alcohol works. She needs to know, that alcohol may be poisoned by those who want to do something bad to her. She must know, that if she drinks, she must avoid drinking in a company of strangers (especially if they're older than her). Talk to your daughter! Be patient and calm and it's going to be OK.
I told my kids that they could always talk to me about anything and if they were honest then we could work out whatever it is together. Kid's are drinking at a younger age now days so it is not unusual. I work for a public school so I see it all the time. Let her know that you love her and that you will be there for her no matter what.
You can ask her directly since she is your daughter, but still it is important to wait for the right movement. Try to show her bad effects of it as soon as possible.
This is a zombie thread but I'm new here and there's not much going on, so I'll add my .$02.
Unless you've quit being a parent..wouldn't that be nice sometimes?... regardless of their age, if you have a concern about something they're doing, you bring it up with them. That's what parents do. You don't sleuth the answer or try to read their mind or ask 20 questions.
The real issue is how exactly to do that without shutting things down. That's the tricky part, and we'd need more info. For instance, with a minor, you'd open the conversation about whatever the concern is from your perspective, you talk more about you than them...in this case, drinking..you'd them know exactly where you stand on that and what your expectation is...including the other parent. You don't question it nor do you present it in a provocative way, and you surely don't dance around it based on what everyone else does. You reiterate what hopefully you've been teaching about your family and it's values.
If they're older, it's similar, but your leverage isn't so much based on your authority, but on the bond that you've hopefully established by the time you need to use it. Adults are entitled to make their own choices, even if we don't approve, but likewise as family members, we are equally entitled to share our perceptions and concerns..as well as our desire.
Unless you've quit being a parent..wouldn't that be nice sometimes?... regardless of their age, if you have a concern about something they're doing, you bring it up with them. That's what parents do. You don't sleuth the answer or try to read their mind or ask 20 questions.
The real issue is how exactly to do that without shutting things down. That's the tricky part, and we'd need more info. For instance, with a minor, you'd open the conversation about whatever the concern is from your perspective, you talk more about you than them...in this case, drinking..you'd them know exactly where you stand on that and what your expectation is...including the other parent. You don't question it nor do you present it in a provocative way, and you surely don't dance around it based on what everyone else does. You reiterate what hopefully you've been teaching about your family and it's values.
If they're older, it's similar, but your leverage isn't so much based on your authority, but on the bond that you've hopefully established by the time you need to use it. Adults are entitled to make their own choices, even if we don't approve, but likewise as family members, we are equally entitled to share our perceptions and concerns..as well as our desire.
I understand in which situation you are right now. It is difficult because I had such a problem 2 years ago. We are together with my wife for 4 years. I always thought it wasn`t the problem I smoke. She never told me it is disgusting for her or something like this. But a few years ago I had some troubles with work, and I started to drink too. Sure she was dissatisfied, and we have tried to figure out how to stop with those problems simpler because my son was already 12 I didn`t want he see me drinking...I have read on <SIZE size="75">vapingdaily</SIZE> https://vapingdaily.com/smoking-effects/smoking-and-drinking/ about cold turkey method. I must say it has helped me...
It was tough and I was prepared for this. But the result! I always remembered why I was doing it. For my son.
I told him this story and he said he is proud of me. I think he will remember this in his drinking age.
It was tough and I was prepared for this. But the result! I always remembered why I was doing it. For my son.
I told him this story and he said he is proud of me. I think he will remember this in his drinking age.