Early bedtime...

Rickeydic

New member
May 23, 2020
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Hello everybody,
Actually, my concern is not a real problem, but I'm always amazed. I have been a single parent for 5 years. My older son, 9, often wants to go to bed "really early". He announces that in the morning, we eat earlier in the evening. When he comes home from school at noon (he is really good at school), he does his homework and then usually goes out to play with his friends. On those days he comes in shortly after 5 pm, puts on his pajamas and after dinner I am supposed to bring him to bed at 6 pm. This has been happening twice a month for about a year now. He lies down then, I let down the blinds, read him briefly before and then the light goes out. When I look back at him after about 15 minutes, he sleeps deeply. Sometimes he comes out again after 2 hours, goes to the toilet and good, then he disappears back into bed and comes out again the next morning. When asked why he wants to go to bed so early, he just says, "I think it's just so nice, it has to be like this." This also happened regularly in the summer, when it was really hot. His friends were still playing outside and he came in and went to bed. His little brother would not dream of that, bargains almost every minute. Does anyone know something like that?
 

NatashaNen

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Jun 25, 2020
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Your son is amazing. Most children stay up late but yours go to bed early and that's every parent's dream for their children. You are lucky to have this child. 
 

Rickeydic

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May 23, 2020
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In summer we were on vacation for 3 weeks. We had got a nice little cottage, everybody's got their room. At one weekend Fynn had the desire to go to bed early again.  No problem for me. Rather for fun I made the suggestion: "It's holidays now, how about a nap? I can tuck you in after lunch." Pause, no answer.
 After a while he asked me if he could try it. On Monday he wants to take a nap. I was quite perplexed when he told it to me, but said: "Sure, no problem, if that's what you really want..." When we came back from the beach at noon, I made us something to eat. After lunch Fynn actually put on the pyjamas and asked me to put him to bed. His little brother is playing on the terrace and he wants to go to sleep. When he was in bed I pulled down the blinds as usual and sat down with him at the bed again.  "I have absolutely nothing against you going to bed early sometimes, or taking a nap now.  But I'm trying to understand, how do you feel now?"
"Like a little boy who still has to go to bed at noon. That's just beautiful. I hear everybody talking and playing outside, and I'm in bed, like a three-year-old who needs to take a nap.  Then when I wake up and sleep late and get out of bed, it's always so nice to cuddle up with you. Sometimes I want to be a very little boy."
That really touched me. I asked him, "But we don't need soothers and diapers, do we?"
"Oh, Daddy, no, of course not." That was the answer.  "But we have to cuddle for a long time when I get out of bed." I asked him, "When shall I wake you up?" "Not at all" was the answer. "I want to wake up alone. "
No sooner said than done. I put him to bed at 12:45 when I went to check on him a little later,
he slept soundly. Around a quarter past three he came out of his room, went to the toilet and came out onto the terrace in his pyjamas.  He came to me on the couch and had his neck tickled for almost half an hour and cuddled up in my arm.  During this time his brother came by every now and then, but continued to play in the sandbox on the meadow. Suddenly Fynn said, "I'm going to get dressed. Can we go to the beach?" Suddenly the 'small' one was big again and spent the rest of the day playing with his holiday acquaintances. When he got back to bed at 10:00, he was asleep again.
I asked him this evening if there was something bothering him or if we should do something different.  "No, it's all right," he said. He found the nap much better than going to bed early in the evening.  He was really enthusiastic about it and obviously enjoyed it.  He told us that this morning. He asked if he could do it again. Sure, he can, we have almost two more weeks here. I told him that he could go to bed every day at noon while on holiday, but he didn't want to. The beach is tempting. He'll probably do it once or twice though. But at home he wants to try it once in a while. "Sure, you can do that," I said, "if it's okay with school." Then came the answer: "Next school year I only have four hours on Tuesdays and Fridays. I'll be home at a quarter to twelve. He got a preliminary timetable with his report card. He couldn't convince his brother to lie down for lunch. But he doesn't have anything to do with that.
He then asked me if I loved 'little' Fynn as much as 'big' Fynn.
I said, "Sure, they're great guys."  Pause
"And why are you crying now? I love you, too, and Linus (his brother) loves you, too. I know that, he told me today.
It's all right. Don't worry about us."
All I could do was giving him a hug.  His brother was already asleep, I would have liked to have him with me.
He'll be on next day. I don't think we've ever been so close.
 

NatashaNen

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Jun 25, 2020
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Parenting done right :) Your son is so sweet! I enjoyed reading your story. Sorry for the delayed response, wasn't able to open this account until now. I would love to hear more stories about your children.
 

Renata Lander

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Oct 11, 2020
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You have a very cute son! My eldest child plays on the computer until late at night, and the youngest one repeats after him. When I forbade the computer after dinner, my mom said that I was too cruel to them. Now, sleeping is a real problem. Even if they are tired, they can't sleep. I just don't know what to do with it.
You are the lucky one;)