Father Disciplines Daughter In Unusual Streetside Manner...

[HappyMomma]

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. -- A local man went to extremes on Monday to punish his teenage daughter.


He did so by making the 13-year-old stand at the corner of Stine Road and Stockdale Highway while holding a sign that said she was a liar and disrespected parents.

Clayton Delouth said it was a last resort and said his daughter had stolen money and items from him and his wife as well as a neighbor.

Delouth said while it wasn't meant to embarrass her, it was and added that the Puritans and judges have done it, "so, why not?"


But local psychologist Dean Haddock says that such a punishment will more than likely backfire and the best medicine is to open up the lines of communication between father and child.


Dr. Haddock says that if a child is acting out, like Delouth says his daughter has, it is probably a sign of a bigger underlying problem.

Haddock added that the best way to figure out the problem is through counseling and that can help parents figure out the appropriate way to correct a child's behavior.


Delouth says that if his daughter's activities continue, he may end up taking her to the mall to hold the sign again.

Father Disciplines Daughter In Unusual Streetside Manner - Bakersfield News Story - KERO Bakersfield

 

[Sirk]

wasn't meant to embarrass her

Of course it was. What else would be the point of holding a sign telling strangers what she did to her family?

I don't have any problem with having a kid feel some shame when they misbehave.

 

[1dayatatime]

My parents actually threatened to do this to me. I really dont have a problem with it. I think personal accountability is completely missing in people these days. By standing there with that sign she's telling the world I lied to my parents and I stole from my parents. If you dont want to hold the sign then dont lie and steal. Whats that saying.....dont do the crime if you cant do the time. There is so much psychological mumbo jumbo out there how much of it is helping to develope indenpendent, confident, self suffecent people. Or are they just creating a world full of victims who blame all their problems on someone or something else. Personal Responsibilty.

*steps down from tiny soap box*

 

[Dadu2004]

It reminds me of judges who dole out the unusual punishments for crimes committed. I think it's great...it's a punishment that child will never forget. I'd bet she doesn't do it again.

 

[HappyMomma]

If you dont want to hold the sign then dont lie and steal.

Agree. I feel that too many do not own the responsibility for thier actions. Heck, I see it at work in adults who try to cover up mistakes and blame others. It's sad.

 

[Cthru]

I'm ALL for it!

Exhibit A - Daughter 1 after she was caught swearing

She had to wear this over a full weekend - even out in public.. we took her to blockbusters this way. People would ask her why she's wearing that and she had to reply 'Because I have a potty mouth'
(don't worry it was brand new)

It worked though!

 

[1dayatatime]

Cthru thats funny. Looking back she will better understand and laugh. "I have a potty mouth"

 

[Cthru]

hahah.. yah that was actually quite a few years ago.. she can laugh with me at it now.

 

[Mindy]

LOL, I guess I'm just weird, but I would never trust anyone again who did that to me. I would never forgive my mom ever. That's what bootcamp is for if things are that bad. Shame teaches nothing, and I stand by that.

 

[Cthru]

I'm thinking that might change when you have kids of your own.
Typical teaching and telling them things does not always work.. sometimes you have to get creative to get your point across.

 

[1dayatatime]

I was thinking the same thing. Each kid is so completly different, what works on one doesn't always work on the other. I'm still waiting for my owners manual.

 

[Mindy]

Well yes, lots of my opinions will probably change when I have kids. I just disagree with the shaming part., and that won't change. In the house fine, but not in public. JMHO

 

[1dayatatime]

Gotcha. I would rather be the one to publicly shame my child. What I mean is anything that could possibly happen to my child due to others, teasing and such, I want to come from me first. My pops teased me all the time about everything, so when some dumb kid came at me teasing me for being extra tall for my age or my glasses or whatever I was armed. Been there done that kinda thing. What my peers had to say didnt matter I knew better. I feel like if you completely shelter your kids from the awful in the world, when the time comes and they see it will you be there to explain? Somehow I feel like my typing is not totally reflecting what I mean. I'm having a off day I think. Bad dream.

 

[HappyMomma]

Shame teaches nothing, and I stand by that.

I disagree with this somewhat. Shame can be a consequence for certain choices that one makes. Ideally shame should be a result of making a bad choice. I'm not taking about shame to carry for the rest of one's life but simply being ashamed for behaving inappropriately and learning from that experience.

The consequences for actions at the childhood age are dramatically less than what they become in adulthood. IMO, it's better to learn those lessons now before the consequences become jail, addiction... etc.

 

[Mindy]

I agree to a certain extent HM I think shame is a natural consequence one would feel when having done something like that. Shame is horrible enough on it's own IMO, without it being reinforced publically. JMHO

 

[Teresa]

I don't see the need for public humiliation. If my parents had done that to me, the lesson I would have learned from it was that they didn't care about my feelings...and it would have caused a LOT of anger. I am a firm believer in consequences that relate directly to the action, and to me this doesn't fit the bill.

 

[Mindy]

I agree Teresa. All that would have taught me is to be more guarded with my feelings.

 

[evilbrent]

I'm thinking that might change when you have kids of your own.
Typical teaching and telling them things does not always work.. sometimes you have to get creative to get your point across.

well i've got kids and i completely think that's the wrong thing to do: shaming kids does teach one thing - it teaches them how to be ashamed and that their parents want them feel shame.

bad idea.

as for this "if you can't do the time don't do the time"... when you say that it really comes across as "whenever you trangress i'm going to punish you to whatever extent i feel like".

 

[evilbrent]

I disagree with this somewhat. Shame can be a consequence for certain choices that one makes. Ideally shame should be a result of making a bad choice. I'm not taking about shame to carry for the rest of one's life but simply being ashamed for behaving inappropriately and learning from that experience.

The consequences for actions at the childhood age are dramatically less than what they become in adulthood. IMO, it's better to learn those lessons now before the consequences become jail, addiction... etc.

here's a thought - how about you raise your kids to have PRIDE and SELF-ESTEEM being their driving motivators, rather than SHAME and EMBARRASMENT.

...just a thought.

 

[evilbrent]

Ideally shame should be a result of making a bad choice.

"if i could change one thing in my life it would be to make more mistakes."