finding perspective...

[Aunt]

This is a question for the working parents out there. How do you find perspective? I usually get home exhausted after a long day & am far more likely to be snappy and unreasonable. I often find I have to bite my tounge or watch my tone so that I don't sound continually inpatient. What frustrates me the most is that after running a team of 10 adults who more or less do whatever is needed, first time round, it is very difficult to remember that a child of not quite 12 needs to be asked a few times. I also find that I get sick of saying no and sounding like the world's biggest bitch. By some standards it seems I am on the permissive side but my niece seems to think I am running a jail.

The other day I was so fed up after being told that I used to be fun before all this but now am mean that when she went to bed I hopped in the shower and cried my eyes out. The next morning there was an apology and it was all fine but i do wonder if I am doing it all wrong. Is this normal or am I having trouble getting it right?

 

[musicmom]

I can totally relate. I work as a substitute and then have to come home to my three and I also get snappy.
When I pick them up I let them know I need at least an hour to unwind. Get yourself a cd player with headphones and put on calming or your favorite music. It will seriously take you away and you can get into a different mind frame.
If you have any parenting books go into the bathroom and lock the door and read some of the pages about patience and such so it's fresh in your mind.
When you walk out you may find that you are calmer and ready to switch into mommy gear.
Your neice gave you creative critisism which is fine and it hurt your feelings because maybe you see she is a bit right. Could you find a way to make a day just for her? Say......Thursday after work you make it a point to make that HER day where you sit and talk or have a nice dinner or play a game with her and dedicate your full attention to her.
My day is so full and so busy that I can only dedicate one hour of my full attention to one child. Since I have three children, that's three hours but I manage and it's great for them and they look forward to it. Good luck. You are not a bad aunt (mom) at all. You are great because you see the problem and you are wanting to fix it. (((BIG HUGS)))

 

[Kaytee]

music: I agree with your advise, just wanted to let you know that Aunt is the young girls aunt, not mom. She is raising her now after an unfortunate accident.

 

[musicmom]

I think I remember the story now, thanks Kaytee. Even more difficult. I saw a story like this on MTV2 where a young 18 year old was taking care of her four siblings. People like Aunt are hero's.....she-ro's!

 

[Kaytee]

lol yes they are.

 

[bigearl67]

<r>Is this normal or am I having trouble getting it right?<br/>
&lt;SIZE size="2"&gt;&lt;s&gt;<SIZE size="100">&lt;/s&gt;That is probably the real question you need answered. You will never really know but if you don’t spend some time “crying your eyes out” or just hurting inside you probably are not succeeding much. Parenting can be downright painful at times as the kids are learning and always trying to see what they can do, “test their boundaries“. Don’t concern yourself with mistakes, focus on the successes and set examples of proper behavior. If you are tired (as I often am) when you come home from work just be honest and let your niece know that this is not the time for her to try to push your buttons. &lt;br/&gt;
&lt;e&gt;</SIZE>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/SIZE&gt;&lt;/r&gt;