Found gay porn on sons laptop

dam1234

New member
Oct 15, 2020
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1
Hi,

I was off work one day last week and took the laptop that all the family use mostly for our kids homework from my almost 16 year old sons bedroom. When I went to youtube my sons account was still logged in and partly because of what was showing up for suggested videos I clicked on history to see what he was looking at and it had lots of gay soft porn. My wife and I are liberal but I am really conflicted for lots of reasons. Firstly I feel guilty for invading his space by clicking on history but also I have not said anything to my wife. Ideally I would at least like to say to him he is not allowed to keep the laptop in his bedroom at night as he is supposed to be sleeping when he has school in the morning.

Basically I am not sure what the best thing to do is if anything. I don't want to force him to talk about this if he is not ready to and if I say to my wife then we are both keeping this from him. I left the laptop downstairs so I suspect he may know that I would have potentially been able to see his account.
 
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Thomas_Williams

New member
Oct 24, 2020
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30
Los Angeles
OMG had the same thing happen to me! I recently found gay porn on my son Jedidiah's laptop. Unfortunately, this was porn that he had made and posted! It had a lot of views and must have made some money from it. Honestly as long as he buys some groceries I'm gonna let it slide, I'm proud of my son for taking agency over his own body.
 

Carmen

New member
Nov 10, 2020
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1
Hi,

I was off work one day last week and took the laptop that all the family use mostly for our kids homework from my almost 16 year old sons bedroom. When I went to youtube my sons account was still logged in and partly because of what was showing up for suggested videos I clicked on history to see what he was looking at and it had lots of gay soft porn. My wife and I are liberal but I am really conflicted for lots of reasons. Firstly I feel guilty for invading his space by clicking on history but also I have not said anything to my wife. Ideally I would at least like to say to him he is not allowed to keep the laptop in his bedroom at night as he is supposed to be sleeping when he has school in the morning.

Basically I am not sure what the best thing to do is if anything. I don't want to force him to talk about this if he is not ready to and if I say to my wife then we are both keeping this from him. I left the laptop downstairs so I suspect he may know that I would have potentially been able to see his account.
Hello,

I believe it's best to teach our children (teens) what is porn. Given that they will inevitably come in contact with it one way or another. It is important that we are the first source of information, and that we explain, what it is, what it represents, why people make it, etc etc.

Of course maybe an introduction into the sexual topic needs to be done first. Explaining what will happen to him/her, how his sexuality will develop, changes in their bodies, in their behaviors, the tendencies they might feel, etc.

If it is gay or not, that's not really an issue, straight or gay, we will love our children just as much.

Hope this helps?
 

Moonstone

New member
Nov 9, 2020
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I haven't been a parent for a long time but I hope my thoughts still help in your, and other's, decisions on how to handle stuff like this.

I get that you don't want to confront your son or seem like you're snooping but if the laptop really is for family use then the history is free game. What if a younger sibling stumbled upon those sites? Or, what if a "friend" uses the computer, gets into the history and outs him to his social group before he's ready?

I think this would be a good teaching opportunity about both porn and internet safety.