hey all.
not sure if i’m here to vent, seek advice, get tips or just explode? but feeling stuck in a situation where i’m having trouble maki g heads or tails.
my wife and i have a 8 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. we’ve co-slept since birth, so 8 years now. and by co sleep i mean my wife sleeps with kids, and i sleep in another room. yep. for 8 years now. the kids have never gone to sleep by themselves. they’ve always needed one of us next to them until they go to sleep.
recently our girl has been sleeping in her own room, after one of us reads books with her. sometimes taking about 45-60 minutes. this happens while the other of us lays with our son.
our son wakes up about every 2 hours or so, will high prevents my wife from getting good sleep. this usually makes cranky mornings for all of us.
so needless to say, it’s been nearly impossible for my wife and i to go on dates. or really spend much time together after bed time starts.
and bed times are usually tough, 4 nights a week we’ll go to bed stressed out and battling the kids to go to bed peacefully.
our kids haven’t really had babysitters. maybe 5-10 times in 8 years.
all these little things have added up and now it’s starting to feel like death by 1000 paper cuts.
the obvious thing is to talk about it with my wife. but she’s usually pretty defensive about it, IMO because she faught so hard to co sleep to begin with.
i’ve posed this scenario to close friends etc and it’s the same response. “this sounds crazy, put your foot down and make a change” it’s nearly impossible to do this without a blow out between my wife and i.
my wife has always said that co sleeping reduces anxiety issues later in life for the kids. but my take is it’s creating a crazy amount of anxiety now and therefore impacting our marriage and connection so much that our kids might have other relationship issues later in life ha.
thoughts/strategies/experience?
not sure if i’m here to vent, seek advice, get tips or just explode? but feeling stuck in a situation where i’m having trouble maki g heads or tails.
my wife and i have a 8 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. we’ve co-slept since birth, so 8 years now. and by co sleep i mean my wife sleeps with kids, and i sleep in another room. yep. for 8 years now. the kids have never gone to sleep by themselves. they’ve always needed one of us next to them until they go to sleep.
recently our girl has been sleeping in her own room, after one of us reads books with her. sometimes taking about 45-60 minutes. this happens while the other of us lays with our son.
our son wakes up about every 2 hours or so, will high prevents my wife from getting good sleep. this usually makes cranky mornings for all of us.
so needless to say, it’s been nearly impossible for my wife and i to go on dates. or really spend much time together after bed time starts.
and bed times are usually tough, 4 nights a week we’ll go to bed stressed out and battling the kids to go to bed peacefully.
our kids haven’t really had babysitters. maybe 5-10 times in 8 years.
all these little things have added up and now it’s starting to feel like death by 1000 paper cuts.
the obvious thing is to talk about it with my wife. but she’s usually pretty defensive about it, IMO because she faught so hard to co sleep to begin with.
i’ve posed this scenario to close friends etc and it’s the same response. “this sounds crazy, put your foot down and make a change” it’s nearly impossible to do this without a blow out between my wife and i.
my wife has always said that co sleeping reduces anxiety issues later in life for the kids. but my take is it’s creating a crazy amount of anxiety now and therefore impacting our marriage and connection so much that our kids might have other relationship issues later in life ha.
thoughts/strategies/experience?