Heartache and a Birthday Party From Hell


New member
Jan 25, 2022
My daughter is in Kindergarten. She and her best friend are inseparable.

Last weekend, my daughter's best friend had a birthday party over the weekend. My daughter gave her a friendship necklace.

After all the presents were opened they were set aside and the kids continued playing. Later on, the best friend decided to pull the necklace out (they didn't get any other present out, just the necklace).

The birthday girl then interviewed her friends and announced another girl as the recipient of the other half of the friendship necklace in front of everyone. My daughter, her best friend, was devastated, as she thought she'd be given the other half of the necklace she gifted.

The two girls had a ceremony and I watched my daughter's heart break as she watched the other girl wear the necklace.

The mother of the best friend noticed my daughter's feelings were hurt about 30 minutes later and had the best friend temporarily take back the other half and wear the full necklace so that feelings were not getting hurt. I'm glad she finally noticed, and did something, but I'm unsure why it took her so long to intervene, as it was hurting everyone else's feelings while the two friends paraded around the party advertising it.

The necklace wasn't intended to be the center of attention or to hurt every child's heart that didn't get chosen. I envisioned the necklace as being set aside for a later time, privately.

The best friend and other friend continued to talk about it and their plans to wear it together in the future and made a big spectacle out the entire thing for about an hour!

I told the mother of the birthday girl, I didn't see this coming or we would've chosen a different gift. She told me she felt bad for the other kids as if this was a terrible gift and inappropriate, placing the blame on me in front of all the parents. I'm baffled that the birthday girl's parents allowed her to parade around the party as Queen Bee as long as she did.

Am I wrong for assuming the necklace would be set aside?

Am I wrong for letting my daughter gift it to begin with?

Are the parents wrong for allowing their daughter to make it a spectacle?

Please help me process this.