help me build parenting confidence...

nathanbault

Junior Member
Jul 13, 2016
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San Francisco, CA, USA
still not feeling the self-confidence I hoped I'd have by now; looking for anecdotes. how do I not feel like a shit parent all the time? I'm NOT looking for parenting advice, because it's precisely that advice that sends me into a self-doubting tailspin. I want to know how to feel confident and natural as a parent instead of riddled with anxiety, self doubt and impatience. I want to feel like I know my kid and what I do is "good enough" mothering. Then I want to let. it. go.
 

artmom

PF Fanatic
Feb 26, 2015
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Canada
Your experiencing what a lot of parents feel. Every time she got cavities, or when she misses too much school, or is behind in her class I can't help but feel like I'm responsible for it all and I dread being scrutinized. The worst thing you can say to a parent struggling with something, and I'm guilty of saying this, too, is to lecture parents with "You're the parent."
Like, duh. Gee, as if we don't know that.
But I just say to myself that I must be doing a pretty good job because I see my daughter everyday and she is healthy, smart, kind and empathetic. Sure there are things we all feel we would change, but I don't think perfect parents make perfect kids. You have to know the hardships and pitfalls to know the smooth sailing times when you know you are right.
If you are ever in doubt, get a good look at your kid and where you are. Don't think too hard about it, just observe everything and it will hit you that all is well.
 

Vdad

PF Enthusiast
May 28, 2016
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That's a tough one, b/c you're not sharing what it is that's making you doubt yourself. Are you typically self confident in other aspects, or is it just with parenting?