How do you get your kiddo to want to cut his hair?...

[FooserX]

I have an ex stepson that I still see twice a month. We hang out, go to ball games, movies, play video games. He's 12.

I don't think his mom has made him cut his hair in years! it's soooo shaggy and sooooo sloppy.

I want him to cut his hair so he looks nice - is that something reasonable?

I was all set to bribe him this past weekend (I was going to buy him a new video game if he cut his hair short), but I couldn't bring myself to say anything because I don't want to be the cause of any kinda of self doubt on his part. I don't want him thinking I think he's not good enough or anything.

Thoughts?

 

[jimrich]

I have an ex stepson that I still see twice a month. We hang out, go to ball games, movies, play video games. He's 12.

I don't think his mom has made him cut his hair in years! it's soooo shaggy and sooooo sloppy.

I want him to cut his hair so he looks nice - is that something reasonable?

I was all set to bribe him this past weekend (I was going to buy him a new video game if he cut his hair short), but I couldn't bring myself to say anything because I don't want to be the cause of any kinda of self doubt on his part. I don't want him thinking I think he's not good enough or anything.

Thoughts?

I'd ask him what HE WANTS - it's his hair!

 

[FooserX]

Yeah, I'm not a subscriber to letting kids pick their hair or clothing all the time. A 12 year old doesn't have the best decision making skills.

 

[FooserX]

Not to mention, kids would go days without bathing...and wouldn't care about wearing dirty clothes to school if it meant they could wear their favorite shirt every day of the week.

There's something to be said for teaching your child self respect and how to be presentable, no?

 

[TabascoNatalie]

I'm not a fan of long hair on boys/men, but its sort of a fashion/style statement for a certain part of population.
I guess i'd bribe him with a videogame as well

 

[Wickett]

Yeah, I'm not a subscriber to letting kids pick their hair or clothing all the time. A 12 year old doesn't have the best decision making skills.

A wise stance to have if you ask me. I wouldn't bribe, I would teach him like grown men should teach young boys. You can do that without railroading his mom or any other guardian he has in his life, by simply telling him how you feel about long hair on men. If he respects you, he'll probably do it. Tell him one day that you think it's nice and respectable looking for a man to have shorter hair. Doesn't have to be shaved or combed over a certain way, just shorter. I really don't think that a reasonable 12 year old would not take the advice of a man he admires.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

A wise stance to have if you ask me. I wouldn't bribe, I would teach him like grown men should teach young boys. You can do that without railroading his mom or any other guardian he has in his life, by simply telling him how you feel about long hair on men. If he respects you, he'll probably do it. Tell him one day that you think it's nice and respectable looking for a man to have shorter hair. Doesn't have to be shaved or combed over a certain way, just shorter. I really don't think that a reasonable 12 year old would not take the advice of a man he admires.

When young people admire certain style, they can't care less what older generations think as "nice and respectable". It always been like this and always will be. (I looked like a scarecrow in my teens)

As for long haired boys, i see its sort of mainstream thinking these days, that it is cool, artistic, rebellious, "against stereotypes" kind of thing, especially for middle classes. You get much more flak for very short hair -- its seen as rough, chavvy, skinhead, etc.

 

[cybele]

I would suggest comparing his hair to Fabio's, because no one wants to be linked to Fabio, but I'm guessing that's a little out of the scope of knowledge of your average 12 year old boy.

That said, my 6 year old is the boy with the shortest hair in our family, and you can still get his up into a ponytail of some description, the front bits can't get into it, but you can still get some description of ponytail happening there.

 

[FooserX]

Maybe I'm just out of touch with things nowdays. Maybe long hair isn't "sloppy" for kids that age?

 

[TabascoNatalie]

Hair isn't sloppy because its long. It is sloppy if its unkempt, unwashed, etc. and long hair requires more complex care.

I had to google Fabio...

 

[cybele]

Well now I feel old, haha.

 

[Groggy1]

You can make a passing suggestion, but after age 12 I quit making my guys conform to my hair dictates. (Unless they stopped caring for their hair, then it was mine again.)

 

[page16]

I would suggest comparing his hair to Fabio's, because no one wants to be linked to Fabio, but I'm guessing that's a little out of the scope of knowledge of your average 12 year old boy.

That said, my 6 year old is the boy with the shortest hair in our family, and you can still get his up into a ponytail of some description, the front bits can't get into it, but you can still get some description of ponytail happening there.

I was thinking along the same lines, but in the opposite direction.
Find out who he looks up to (could be a signer, movie star, teacher, etc...). Would have to be a person with short hair. Show him how great the person looks with short hair. He'll give it some thought I think.