Yeah.. My kid had a 1000 minute reading challenge last month and I am pretty sure she will bring a 1200 minute one this month. The truth is, I don't know what the expectation is and therefore always push for more. My kid reads 3 times as many words as the grade level requirement on the reading test with 100% comprehension, but never gets a compliment for it from the teacher. I see some of her classmates reading even more advanced books than she does.
As for the math, the anxiety coming from not knowing what to expect plays a role. I asked the teacher, after months of frustration, what math facts would be appropriate for my kid. She suggested multiplication. I freaked-- I was giving her additions....So, I sat down with my kid and gave her multiplication facts from that day on. The first day, I gave her from X2 all the way to X12, stressing out she wasn't fast enough. Giving in, I gave her only X2 the next day, and X3 the day after etc all the way to X12s and mixed ones, only hoping she was not falling behind.
This closed communication kills me... especially because I'm not from this area. This is a school district with the high school that ranks within top 10 in the nation. And most families have at least one PhD parent. So, the academic achievement must be high and standards extremely high. I believe my child is doing pretty well in school, but she almost never gets any compliments for her school work. That makes me wonder how she is doing in compared to others... and freak out every once in a while.