How much more?...

[Shaun Austin]

Many of you know we are expecting twins who will be children 5 and 6. However it seems that nothing I do is right according to my wife. Yesterday for example I had a lesson last period, however I cancelled because the majority of the students were on a trip and the 5 left could work independently anyway. I thought it would be nice to pick up the kids for my wife and make dinner so she could relax. She decides to bite my head off.

I decided that on Sunday I would go and tuck Cameron and Maddie into bed, I go up stairs and say night to them both. I make sure they have done everything like change and clean teeth, read them a book send Cameron to his room while I settle Maddie down, Charlotte sticks her head in the door and screams at me the fact im not doing it right and she comes in and takes over. I go and say night to Cameron and she takes over. I try and help Sam with some work and she comes over and says I'm teaching him wrong.

Someone said its just Pregnancy stress, but she never used to act like this with the others, so I'm sure there's something more and i don't know how much more I can handle we always work as a team but she seems to keep undermining me at the moment.

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[akmom]

Quit messing up. ;P

 

[cybele]

Hormones.

 

[Shaun Austin]

Not sure if that is the case Cybele you see it has never been on this level before and shes usually really calm when pregnant, and strangely I'm sure when I last checked I did all the things above the way I have been doing them since the start, and only now she has an issue with them.

 

[stjohnjulie]

Even if she was never like this with the other pregnancies, it doesn't mean that this one is different. Many women lash out at their husbands when they are pregnant and it mostly has to do with hormones and some of it has to do with just stress. Have you tried to talk to her about it? She will probably get mad at you!!! But maybe it will bring some understanding for you both. I was very pissy with my husband when I was pregnant with my last little guy. I don't even know why everything he did made me so mad...it just did!!!! Into my late 2nd and early 3rd trimester things evened out a bit. Not sure if being pregnant with twins is what is making the difference with hormones and stress in this pregnancy, but try to remember that even though this is not fun, it is pretty normal.

 

[Shaun Austin]

Thanks for the tip Julie I will defo talk with Charlotte.

 

[cybele]

Yeah, after 5 I can honestly say that no two were alike.

I was really really snappy with Sunny. Ash used to have to take the kids out on the weekends just to give me space. The other four, not so much.

You also have to remember that her energy levels will be so low, she is growing two people, not just one, and she is older now than she was with the other four, that's already two things that are working against her acting "normal".

 

[stjohnjulie]

Thanks for the tip Julie I will defo talk with Charlotte.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes. I remember being very frustrated when I was getting mad at the hubby all of the time. I KNEW I was being unreasonable, but I couldn't seem to shake it. I just felt angry and couldn't really rationally explain it. But talking about it might help and if not, as they say, this too shall pass

 

[Shaun Austin]

Let us know how it goes.

Well I spoke with her about it and she opened up and said it was because she felt she was loosing control. She left full time work for good... or atleast the forseeable future. Before she left her business partner at the vet surgery she works at, was taking over everything and organising what will happen to all her animal patients. She was also being shadd
owed by the vet who will be taking over from her. She feels like she has no control over the business she built up with her partner.

She said that she still has control over her home life. She then said sorry and we had a wonderful evening. I think she just needs to feel in control but has said that she understands that I need to have and equal part in everything so I guess we just let it work out and we'll see but she has promised to try and control her need for control. (just laughing at that last little bit because its ironic)

 

[bssage]

I'm sorry, late to the party I guess.

Looks like you need some male peer support. So here it goes:

HA HA SUCKER.

Did you think all the old married guys ended up building bird houses and such in their garages or basements because they love birds? Wrong. Its because pieces of wood do not behave irrationally. A piece of wood never say "do we really have to watch this?" When you watch Two Mules For Sister Sara for the 50th time.

Do you think car guys want to work on cars? Wrong. A car never says "do you know what today is?".

Do you think the guy next door who does all that yard work just has that strong of a work ethic? Wrong. The yard never interrupts you when you whip something out to say "Just what do you think your going to do with that?"

Apparently it has taken you a bit longer than some. But welcome to the "yes mam" club.

Ps we can never speak of this again.

 

[stjohnjulie]

Glad to hear everything went well! Not feeling in control is a bad feeling for anyone to deal with. Now at least you both know where some of this tension is stemming from. Makes it a lot easier to deal with. I know her 'work' situation would drive me crazy on a good day let alone being pregnant with twins and having to deal with it!