I don't understand the problem...

[Antoinette]

My DS Felix is 6 and a half years old and today when I picked him up from school he was really quiet. When we got home I asked him what was wrong and he told me his teacher got cross with him today. When I asked why he told me that last week he told a boy in his class that boys can have boyfriends or girlfriends and you can get married and me a mummy and a daddy or a daddy and a daddy (he forgot the mummy and mummy but that's fine lol he is 6)

anyway I suppose that the boy went home and repeated it to his father who got upset and talked to the teacher who in turn told Felix that he is not to talk about this kind of thing at school. I am not happy with this at all. Felix has 2 gay uncles and I don't want him to be taught that their lives are wrong or shameful. It's not like he knows details just that they live together and love each other etc.

I'm going to talk to his teacher tomorrow and tell her to keep her bigotry to herself. Grrrr lol

 

[mom2many]

Talk to the teacher, he didn't say anything wrong, it's the truth. It's not up to the teacher or the kids to instill values in children, that's up to the parents. If that other parent doesn't like it, then they can teach what they want at home.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

I have nothing against gays, but i'd also be uncomfortable teacher telling such small children that "boys can have boyfriends..." Thing. Its just too early for that. And all children need a bio mum and bio dad to come into this world. Who raises them, is a different topic.

 

[Antoinette]

The teacher didn't tell the children that. Felix did, he told one boy that it's okay to marry a boy or girl if you want to

which I think is fine, it's exactly how he should feel, I wish the teacher had just stayed out of it or approached me and told me to speak to Felix without just doing it herself.

 

[cybele]

I think the teacher is walking shaky territory there. Very shaky territory.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

Sorry i must have misread

 

[IADad]

we've dabbled a toe into this subject matter, because as a family we believe that whatever two people do ina loving consentual relationship is fine and they have just as many rights to seek and be assured of happiness, but we belong to a church that views homosexuality as wrong and the boys go to a school where that's the official line as well (a Catholic School.) Now, we also live in a very liberal community. So, the church and school are very careful not to alienate anyone. The official stance is that while they believe it's wrong, they love the person and encourage them to develop into all they can be. So, matters of sexuality are left to the individual to prayerfully contemplate. Which I can live with. So, with our boys we teach that different people have different opinions so we need to be mindful of that. So, my kids know it's okay for two men or two women to fall in love and marry (and yes, it's legal here) but they don't feel the need to tell the world it's so. Which, in your situation Antionette, is a difficult line to draw for a 6 yo. My kids also don't have any close relatives in gay relationships, so it's a little more academic to them.

 

[Antoinette]

Yeah that's the problem I'm having because i know that not everyone has the same views as us or the same experiences as us so they may not want my child telling their children about gay people or whatever but it is hard to explain to a 6 year old that it may be inappropriate without leading him to believe that there is something wrong or shameful about being gay (which we obviously don't believe there is)

 

[TabascoNatalie]

Thing is that its awkward when small children comment about adult lifestyle. And "gay" subject is one of these adult themes.

 

[Orlando Marquez]

It sounds like Felix is trying to be the teacher at school. That "other parent" had every right to complain to the school administrator.

Lets use an example. If another child goes to school and starts to "tell" Felix about kissing, touching, or carressing another person in an armorous way, the child has over stepped his role. A child goes to school to learn, not to teach. Same goes for a child telling others about domestic disputes, or even incest. No child of this age can be considered a credible source to give such information. So a child might have a good grasp and understanding of what we parents have taught them, but this is by no means a "green light" that our child can go attempt to educate others. Other kids will habe questions that a child as young as Felix might not be able to answer.

Personally, I would prefer my child to learn about healthy human relationships from people who have had those types of healthy relationships. Just my 2 cents...

Sent from above...

 

[Antoinette]

I agree that Felix isn't the person to be talking to his peers about this kind of thing because it is an adult topic. but I also think the teacher should have come to me about it rather than Felix. The way she did it gave gay relationships a negative connotation where as I would have told him not to talk about anyone's relationships at school and not focuses so much on the gay v straight debate. I don't want him to start thinking at 6 years old that there is anything wrong or un natural with being gay.

Also it was a passing comment during play not like he sat them down and told his friends in detail about what being gay means because he is 6 he doesn't know what being gay means. He just knows that his uncle has a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend and that when he sleeps over his uncles share a room just like mummies and daddies share a room. He doesn't know enough about it that I'm worried he said much other than that to this boy.

 

[Orlando Marquez]

Do you know if the teacher was referring to gay relationships or relationships in general?

Teachers should not distinguish between types and should direct children of that age to refrain from relationship topics and focus on thier academics instead. 6 years of age is way too young to be stressed about adult relationships.





Sent from above...

 

[Antoinette]

No she was definitely talking about gay relationships. When I talked to her she even said to me 'homosexuality is not a topic for school and I do not believe first grade students should have to hear about such topics' it wasn't that he was talking about a relationship it was just that it was about gay people that she didn't like.

When I talked to him I told him that at school he shouldn't talk about any relationships because all families are different. And some people don't have mummies or daddies etc and that he should focus on learning and playing with his friends. And he would learn everything he needs to about being and adult when he is one.

 

[Orlando Marquez]

I think the damage has been done.

If this teacher made a clear distinction between heterosexual and homosexual relationships to a 6 year old child, the distinction can no longer be undone. Felix is going to remember.




Sent from above...

 

[babybibsplus]

The teacher should have handle the situation differently. First she should have talk to you about the situation and then the two of you could have spoke to your son and explained to him that some people don't think that their kid's are old enough to know about these things yet so we should not talk about it at school.