I need help with 3 1/2 yr old...

[at_the_end]

I don't know what to do anymore. My 3 1/2 yr old son will not listen, is constantly into something, breaking stuff, and has now started running off. From the time he gets up at 6:30am to the time he goes to sleep, sometime after midnight, he is literally bouncing off the walls. I've tried to make him take naps, he has a bedtime but it does no good. I can make him lay down, but I can't make him go to sleep.

Today we were going to leave and he ran down the drive and down our private road and was all the way at the neighbors before we caught him.

We went and picked up our oldest from school and ran some errands and went to Subway. As we were about done eating, he gets up and runs out the door and across the parking lot.

I have taken toys, have made him stay home, sit in the vehicle with dad while I go into the stores(he loves going in), taken tv, taken movies, stand in the corner, did time out,sit on the couch, go to his room,you swat him and he laughs.

I am to the point that I don't know what to do anymore. I am in tears and he usually keeps me this way. It is to the point that I am ready to walk away and that makes feel like the most horrible person to say that and know that it will not help him and I'd never do it, but that is the way I feel.

I called his pediatrician and asked to make an appt and told them why. They said that unless he was in daycare or preschool and they made a referral, there was really nothing they could do to help me, that I needed to take all sugar and caffeine away. I've done this. He has never gotten much to begin with, I don't buy sweets or bake them. Only on occasion when we go out to eat, he might get sweets or at the movies. He doesn't get caffeine.


I just really don't know what to do anymore or where to go for help.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

[Lissa]

Is he getting enough one-on-one time with his parents?

 

[fallon]

I don't understand why your ped won't help you without a referal. I would start looking for a new one

 

[at_the_end]

My husband works night shift Thurs-Sun nights, so he sleeps most of Thurs, Friday, Sat, Sun, and Mon and apart from Sat/Sun it is just me and him while dad sleeps and sister is at school.

On Tuesdays/Wednesdays and each morning when dad gets home from work, they spend time together.

He will not stay anywhere, not even with my parents and is not in daycare or preschool.

For the past few months, he throws a huge fit when his dad leaves for work. I have to lock the door and hold him, then he screams and cries for about 10-15 minutes. He'll keep saying over and over " Dad, I'm RJ". I've wondered how that or if that has any effect on his behavior somehow.

His behavior has been bad for about 6 months, but progressively worse.

 

[Kaytee]

hmm... sounds like he might need some one on one time with dad. My husband works almost the exact same schedule as yours so I know what it is like to be with them like that.
I think you should stay away from hitting him, negative attention is just as good as positive to a child. Also positive reaforcement anytime he does anything good.
Punishmenst should be long, at almost 4 years old he knows what he is doing is wrong.

 

[at_the_end]

Thank you all for your responses. Dad and I both are going to start doing some one on one time with each child. Hopefully this will provide some results.

 

[HappyMomma]

Wow! My first response was "call SuperNanny."

That sounds like a really tough situation. Have you considered trying preschool to see if the structure and stimulation would help?

 

[ccgr]

children are creatures of habit my advice is to set up a morning/evening routine

As for discipline I'm for spankings when deserved but not all parents are on board with that. You can kill babies before they're born but you can't spank their bottom after they are out.... Never spank out of anger.