Tonight has been hell.
I don't even want to really get into it all but lets just say had my mom not wrestled me for my phone and tried to have taken it from me (she didn't get it) I would have called the cops on both of them and had them admitted.
I'll give you a few examples....my brother leaving and telling my mom goodbye, her smoking after 21 years of not, her getting smashed, him being gone for nearly 4 hours not answering his phone and her going back and forth between moods and screaming at the top of her lungs and crying.
I don't feel they are emotionally stable enough to do much more than wipe their own asses.
My rules are as follows:
No more drinking.
No smoking.
All car keys stay with me. (I already have her set and I need to get his.)
No just taking off and not telling people where you are going.
Let me know where they are going if they do leave and check in often.
No screaming.
I could think of more but I keep pausing and staring out into space...ADD/tiredness is bad..
Now, I know I am 20 and she is my mom, my parent and I have no place to be setting rules etc and controlling them but last thing I need is her or him in jail or on a M-1 hold at the hospital...
I do have logic for these rules...
No drinking: My mom's moods sway when she drinks she can go from passive, to reckless to angry and pissed off in one night and cycle through them.
No smoking: She quit because she had kids and I don't think she should start now because its bad for her.
All car keys stay with me: I don't trust them. Especially my mom, she admitted to me tonight that she drove drunk numerous times when she was younger and not too long back maybe 2 summers ago, downed a whole bottle of wine...minus one glass she decided to slosh ALL in my hair and face and eyes and then hopped in her car... They can get them to go out during the day etc but when they get home I get them and I keep them overnight. If I feel either is unsafe to drive, well I have a license and will drive them myself.
No just taking off and not telling people where you are going: With their recent suicide threats I don't trust them. I want to know where they are going etc...
Let me know where they are going if they do leave and check in often: I don't like wondering if I am ever going to see them again. They left tonight after all the drama to go get food and now its 1am...scratch that...it's 2am...I haven't heard anything from them and they aren't answering their phones.
No screaming: This is the #1 reason why ANY cop has been to our house....their screaming. It's ridiculous...it sounds like someone is being killed when my mom screams and my brother just sounds like a monster.
I know SOMEONE is going to tell me to go make them seek professional help....well I know how the system works and with some people it does more damage than good and I have to think about my brothers career as a cop when he gets older...he has a lot of time before then and I don't want to see that chance go away because of fighting a cop or a doctor etc...he's really depressed and is in a bad spot in life but I have no doubt that he will get through this with some counseling and time and go on to live a happy life...
Does it sound unreasonable though?
Its kinda common courtesy like letting people you live with know where you are and check in often but its also for their safety etc...
If the time came the situation got bad enough I would call the cops. I think a lot of right now is deep depression and rebellion on both their parts
I am ready to swap parent roles with my mom.
I will cook dinner.
Handle bills.
Do more cleaning.
Drive them everywhere...
If my mom does it, i'll do it...
I do not want either of them out of the roads with the emotional states they get into and I don't want them running off in the middle of the night and not answering their phones...
My punishment...I call the cops.
If my 15 year old brother decides to take off on his bike in the middle of the night...you can bet your ass i'll be on the phone having them bring him home.
They decide to up and leave and make me worry if they are both dead or not....you can bet your ass i'll have a BOLO put out for them..
Drunk driving...I won't stand for it...I'll rat her out and then bail her out..but NO family member of mine will do anything like that..
My mom doesn't want police involvement at all.
I'm pretty sure they would go along with this until they were getting help and getting better..
Oh and counseling is a must...they have to be in counseling getting active help..
So what do you guys think?
I don't even want to really get into it all but lets just say had my mom not wrestled me for my phone and tried to have taken it from me (she didn't get it) I would have called the cops on both of them and had them admitted.
I'll give you a few examples....my brother leaving and telling my mom goodbye, her smoking after 21 years of not, her getting smashed, him being gone for nearly 4 hours not answering his phone and her going back and forth between moods and screaming at the top of her lungs and crying.
I don't feel they are emotionally stable enough to do much more than wipe their own asses.
My rules are as follows:
No more drinking.
No smoking.
All car keys stay with me. (I already have her set and I need to get his.)
No just taking off and not telling people where you are going.
Let me know where they are going if they do leave and check in often.
No screaming.
I could think of more but I keep pausing and staring out into space...ADD/tiredness is bad..
Now, I know I am 20 and she is my mom, my parent and I have no place to be setting rules etc and controlling them but last thing I need is her or him in jail or on a M-1 hold at the hospital...
I do have logic for these rules...
No drinking: My mom's moods sway when she drinks she can go from passive, to reckless to angry and pissed off in one night and cycle through them.
No smoking: She quit because she had kids and I don't think she should start now because its bad for her.
All car keys stay with me: I don't trust them. Especially my mom, she admitted to me tonight that she drove drunk numerous times when she was younger and not too long back maybe 2 summers ago, downed a whole bottle of wine...minus one glass she decided to slosh ALL in my hair and face and eyes and then hopped in her car... They can get them to go out during the day etc but when they get home I get them and I keep them overnight. If I feel either is unsafe to drive, well I have a license and will drive them myself.
No just taking off and not telling people where you are going: With their recent suicide threats I don't trust them. I want to know where they are going etc...
Let me know where they are going if they do leave and check in often: I don't like wondering if I am ever going to see them again. They left tonight after all the drama to go get food and now its 1am...scratch that...it's 2am...I haven't heard anything from them and they aren't answering their phones.
No screaming: This is the #1 reason why ANY cop has been to our house....their screaming. It's ridiculous...it sounds like someone is being killed when my mom screams and my brother just sounds like a monster.
I know SOMEONE is going to tell me to go make them seek professional help....well I know how the system works and with some people it does more damage than good and I have to think about my brothers career as a cop when he gets older...he has a lot of time before then and I don't want to see that chance go away because of fighting a cop or a doctor etc...he's really depressed and is in a bad spot in life but I have no doubt that he will get through this with some counseling and time and go on to live a happy life...
Does it sound unreasonable though?
Its kinda common courtesy like letting people you live with know where you are and check in often but its also for their safety etc...
If the time came the situation got bad enough I would call the cops. I think a lot of right now is deep depression and rebellion on both their parts
I am ready to swap parent roles with my mom.
I will cook dinner.
Handle bills.
Do more cleaning.
Drive them everywhere...
If my mom does it, i'll do it...
I do not want either of them out of the roads with the emotional states they get into and I don't want them running off in the middle of the night and not answering their phones...
My punishment...I call the cops.
If my 15 year old brother decides to take off on his bike in the middle of the night...you can bet your ass i'll be on the phone having them bring him home.
They decide to up and leave and make me worry if they are both dead or not....you can bet your ass i'll have a BOLO put out for them..
Drunk driving...I won't stand for it...I'll rat her out and then bail her out..but NO family member of mine will do anything like that..
My mom doesn't want police involvement at all.
I'm pretty sure they would go along with this until they were getting help and getting better..
Oh and counseling is a must...they have to be in counseling getting active help..
So what do you guys think?
....this is a parenting forum and most parents aren't going to take all that kindly to your whining. Maybe what would really help you is a forum for young adults who live under their parents roof yet still believe they're owed more.