Leaving Kids in Cars...

[akmom]

Here is the article: http://www.today.com/moms/errand-crime-parents-now-face-hard-consequences-leaving-kids-car-6C10584642[/URL]

What do you think?

Should violations be judged on a case-by-case basis, or should they all be prosecuted?

If so, what should the age cut-off be?

(For U.S. members, here is a list of state laws: http://www.kidsandcars.org/state-laws.html)

 

[adoptive dad]

Personally I try to never leave my kids in the car alone. But we rarely use the car for going to the local village or what have you - there's no point. Although I think jail, and a fine is a little excessive. When in this country a fixed penalty for speeding which in theory could be more dangerous - is only £60.00 plus 3-6 points on the driving licence. If there is an age cut off I think it should be around 11 or at the very latest 13 my sister is 11 and she does a lot independently

 

[akmom]

Yeah, leaving kids in cars isn't a great idea. But under the circumstances, I just don't think what happened in the article was a big deal. It certainly didn't benefit anyone to levy huge fines on that family and threaten the mother with jail time. It just seems like an overly legalistic and heavy-handed application of a law.

My state doesn't have this law. I left my kids in the car when I pulled up to an outdoor ATM, and some lady actually chewed me out for it. She stood by my car and said she was watching out for my kids for me since I just left them there... when I was literally standing 10 feet away. I'm like... seriously? Some people just want to be dramatic!

I saw a few kids in a running car the other day, windows down, singing at the top of their lungs while a parent went inside for a short time. It was hot and I'm a mom, so I kind of hung around discreetly until she returned, "just in case," but I certainly didn't approach her about it or make a scene. It was kind of like this article... probably not the best choice, but not worth making a fuss over.

Now if I somehow forgot my kids in a hot car, I sure hope a passerby would break the window and ask questions later. But this law just seems like a way for busybodies to bully people.

 

[adoptive dad]

One thing I don't agree with is leaving a newborn or infant in a car.

 

[Xero]

Interesting, honestly that seems a little ridiculous to me (the story in the article). In general, I am not one to leave my kids in the car, ever. Only on a couple of rare occasions did I leave my oldest in the car because he didn't want to get out, it only took me like 1 minute lol, and it was only because I could completely see my car from the window of the gas station (the whole front of the tiny building is made of glass). Otherwise I make him get out. I have never left the youngest in the car even at the tiny gas station, because babies are too unpredictable and he might get upset and I wouldn't hear him and I hate that kind of thing. Or put something he shouldn't in his mouth or who knows what.

It is always dangerous though, that little girl could have gotten kidnapped if someone tried hard enough, and the AC could have stopped working (I have a friend who left her son in the car for a little bit to run in a store and when she came back he was all overheated because the AC stopped working while she was in there - scary).

What scares me more are the people who forget about their little ones being with them on a hot day and they leave them in the car and they die of heat stroke. I always get so freaked out and upset thinking about how scared, upset, and miserable those poor babies were. What a horrible thing to go through. One thing I always try to do is put my personal belongings (purse, etc) in the back seat or one of their car seats back there so that I always have to reach/look back there anyway when I get out of the car. I think it's a good idea, I read it somewhere.

A video has been going around on facebook about vehicular heat stroke actually, its like a theatrical thing done to hopefully make people more aware or something. It's so sad though, I cried my eyes out when I watched it.

Definitely be aware that this can be very upsetting to watch before you click on this if you're interested:

<YOUTUBE id="XNDWN8KDVSM" url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNDWN8KDVSM">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNDWN8KDVSM</YOUTUBE>

 

[akmom]

I didn't click your link yet, because I'm not in the mood for anything sad.

I get what you mean about being scared of forgetting your kids in the car. I used to worry about that a LOT. I can be absent-minded, so I was horrified at the possibility. It's one thing when someone makes a poor judgment and leaves their children in a car while they run errands; but when they didn't even realize their child was in the car, that just makes it so much sadder. The thing is, I always have my kids with me. Always. So getting them is ingrained in my routine. When people forget their kids, it's usually because of a break in routine. They have their children with them at a time when they usually wouldn't, and so they totally forget about the kid even being in there. (Especially if he's rear-facing and asleep.) So that is one advantage I always had, that transporting my children was never a break in routine.

However, we still had "locked in the car" drills. As soon as my daughter was old enough, we practiced unbuckling, climbing into the front, and opening the door. I said if we ever got in a wreck and Mommy didn't wake up, and it gets hot, do this to get out. We also practiced dialing on a cell phone, where to find it in the car, etc. When the younger ones were born, I taught her that if they were ever alone in the car (or if I was unconscious) and she had to get out, to leave the doors open for the other kids. That's all you can do, right?

 

[adoptive dad]

We never have had drills like that but having seen that I think we might make them an adittion having watched the video. When Mathew was about two we left him in the car we were on a long motorway journey and he was asleep me and Fern got out (Caitlyn wasn't with us if I remember rightly) we were heading for the service station while I was trying to put my finger on what was missing - keys, check; wallet, check; Mathew, che... next thing I'm running to the car and getting him out he was so quiet id forgot him, we had been gone a few seconds he'd woken up and seemed happy but still.

 

[mom2many]

I've done it a time or two, usually if I have one of the dogs with me cause no one is getting into my car with them in there.

Never what this mom did though, but that doesn't mean I think she deserves jail time.

I bet if there was a poll, we would find that most, if not all, of us were left in the cars while our parents did quick trips in and out. We all survived.

This though is different then parents who forget their kids. This happens when a routine is deviated from. It's sad, but I can personally see how it does happen. I mean hell, I drove off once when Sam was a baby. I'd left her sitting on out porch., but my routine for that day had been all screwed up. I only got a few block, but still, I forgot her.

 

[pwsowner]

Leaving a 4 year old in a vehicle for any length of time if you can't see the vehicle is wrong, but the punishment is a bit overkill. Like Adoptive Dad said, speeding is in theory more dangerous, yet the punishment is less?

Hard to say how long different ages can be left alone in a car. Every situation and child is different, but myself, I wouldn't leave a child under 8 alone for any length of time if I can't see the car. After that, it depends how well the child understands what to do under different situations. If he/she is not yet ready to be left home alone for an hour, he/she is not ready to be left alone in a car for more than 5 minutes.

On a hot day like we've been having, I wouldn't leave any child in the car.

 

[pwsowner]

I'd left her sitting on out porch., but my routine for that day had been all screwed up. I only got a few block, but still, I forgot her.

That would be scary. Good thing you remembered.

 

[akmom]

I bet if there was a poll, we would find that most, if not all, of us were left in the cars while our parents did quick trips in and out. We all survived.

Quick trips? I remember staying in there for an entire grocery run. But back then, all windows were wind-up. If you got hot, you rolled down your window. No need for the car to be on.

The problem we have more often up here is cold. I completely forgot about the time I left my infant out in the car in the winter. It was so cold outside that I decided to strap her in the car before I loaded the groceries. I turned the car on to warm it up, so the keys were in the ignition, and when I shut the door it locked automatically. Keys, phone, baby... all inside. So I had to run back in to Customer Service to summon a locksmith. It was super scary for me, but I think she slept through it.

 

[Xero]

So scary M2M and akmom!! I would be freaking out!

And oh heck yeah, I used to sit in the car by myself or with my siblings all the time and listen to the radio. lol

 

[mom2many]

That would be scary. Good thing you remembered.

So scary M2M and akmom!!

I wasn't really scared, it was more like me chewing myself out for being so damn stupid. I remembered Ted, but not the baby? WTH?

 

[mom2many]

Quick trips? I remember staying in there for an entire grocery run. But back then, all windows were wind-up. If you got hot, you rolled down your window. No need for the car to be on.

Same here, we'd sit in the back of my mom's boyfriends Ranchero (like a hybrid truck/pick-up) while she would run in and grocery shop. We knew where she was if we needed her lol

 

[adoptive dad]

When we were little yeah my dad would leave us in the car but my dad would never lock the car if we were in there - this was the days when each car had singular locking where you had to lock each door seperatly and non of this where it automatically locks if the engine has been off for like 10 minutes and you haven't locked it (a feature on my car). These days though you can't leave the car unlocked for security reasons. If we got to hot we could wind the window down and if we needed to we could get out of the car.

 

[mom2many]

I always lock the doors, windows up and either the air conditioner on or the heater on, but they really are short trips in and out. I wouldn't be comfortable if I couldn't see them.

My 3 year old, can get in and out of her carseat, roll the windows up and down, lock and un-lock the doors, and get in and out of the cars, her I'll leave for a few seconds but that's cause I know she won't do anything stupid.....my other kids when they were that age? Hell no, they'd try to drive off with the car!

 

[adoptive dad]

Yeah Mathew probably would try driving off in the car if we let him hisk toy cars are just not enough

 

[cybele]

I tried to do that once when I was a kid... I mean, my Dad had the keys with him, but I climbed into the drivers seat and kept smashing on the pedals trying to make the car move.
I was in a world of trouble for that one.

 

[JakeW]

One thing I don't agree with is leaving a newborn or infant in a car.

I don't think that's even a matter of opinion. That is a no brainer and falls in the "never shake a baby" rule. Yeah, it's safe to say that as kids, the vast majority of us were left alone in cars but times have changed now.

 

[IADad]

I think there are so many different degrees that it's difficult to take a "one size fits all" approach to punishment. I recall there where two cases here one summer. In one case a mom left her kid in a car while she visited a friend, and the child died. The second was a senior hospital executive who left her kid in the car while she was at work. She was distracted in the morning, spaced off going to daycare and drove straight to work and left the baby in the car and she died. There was a certain amount of controversy, because the first woman was tried and convicted of something like 2nd degree murder and the second got off with no charges. Now, the first mom, was low income and the inference was that she was "partying" while her child suffered. So, one was certainly a bit more irresponsible than the other, but the end result was the same. I can see some difference in their punishment because one was acting otherwise responsible while the other was essentially totally irresponsible, but the charges seemed too far apart