Live and let live right?...

Cop2be

PF Fiend
May 28, 2009
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Denver, Colorado 3oh3! <3
My brother's friend is spending the night. Around 3am (about 2 hours ago) I had to go to the bathroom so I went...my mom heard me up.
She starts asking me, "Why are you up?"I told her I had to pee.
She was like, "Why were you up before that?" wondering why I was still awake. I told her its summer and I have nothing to do and I'm not getting up early to just sit around the house. (The weather has been bad everyday since the end of May. Tornado warnings everyday for the past week. I have no money to go anywhere and I am not about to ask her for money.)

Its summer. I am 19. No, I am not working but I've all but threatened places for a job.

I point out my brother and his friend are still up, she blames it on me..yet they are both playing video games. I point out that I am in my room door shut/locked, lights off, no sound except my fan and that he couldn't know for sure.

She tells me that HE KNOWS...
I get where she is coming from. I am a night owl...he knows its in my nature to be up late. Its been like that for the past 6 years...nothing is going to sway him.
Unless I was to loudly announce going to bed and start sleep with my door open..there is no other way for him to know any different. Announcing going to bed is corny and I sleep with my door shut to keep the dog out.
How can I show her that no matter what I do, he's going to think I am up?
And how do I show her that I am 19 and he is 14 and that at 19 I simply shouldn't have to go to bed as early as a 14 year old. Different ages have different privilages and while he shouldn't stay up at late, that at my age it's really no big deal.

My mom is very old school.
Thinks everyone should go to bed at 10pm and wake up between 7-9am and get things done early during the day.
Doesn't believe that teenagers bodies are different and their sleep patterns are different.

She'll also not go to bed until he and I are both asleep. Then claim that we keep her up. He usually goes to bed when she does but you can't even hear me when I stay up...I lay on my bed with my laptop.

Thanks in advance.
 

IADad

Super Moderator
Feb 23, 2009
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Iowa
Okay, I'm going to try to be as nice about this as I can and not waste a lot of effort doing so, because you're just going to be gone from here after you don't get the answer you're looking for.

1) It bothers me that your profile says you're going to be a cop by December 2010 and you haven't figured this one out for yourself. Seriously, I predict another tazering gone bad within the next couple of years.

2) You woke her up...if wake any woman, especially your mom, up in the middle of the night, don't expect anything rational or empathetic from them.

3) You've all but threatened for what jobs? Are you telling me there isn't a convenience store clerk jobs (in case you want practice getting shot at) a warehouse, call center, or grocery store job? Nobody's hiring a bus boy or a dishwasher...really? I simply don't believe you've tried that hard. I haven't been unemployed for even a day since December of 1984, If you want to work and are willing to take anything, there are jobs for you.

4) You're 19. You need to live on your own.

5) She's right, there's one thing you could be doing if you got up before 7 - look for a job. The only reason for a man your age to be sleeping in, is if you just got off worrk from the night shift.
 

Cop2be

PF Fiend
May 28, 2009
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Denver, Colorado 3oh3! <3
I am not a man.
I am a 19 year old girl.

And I didn't wake her up. She was already awake laying in her bed in her room with the lights off.

Either way had I been asleep..I still had to pee. I would have been waking up and going anyways.

As for the job...im am trying to get one in lifeguarding.
I've been through nearly 40 hours of training for that.
I'm lifeguard, CPR, First Aid and AED certified.
I am a police explorer till im 21.

I want something revolving around that.
My mom BTW won't let me get a "piddly teenage job" while living under her roof...she says its a waste of my time and her gas.
 

Father_0f_7

PF Addict
Aug 19, 2008
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You WANT a job revolving around that. If you have had no prior work experiance, this may not be possible. Your mom should realize this. Once you get a job even if it is a "piddly teenage job" you could start paying for your own gas.

Where do you go to college? They dont have student housing? There isnt a friend you could move in with?

While I disagree with IAdad that PEOPLE your age shouldnt be sleeping in....I do agree with him that YOU shouldnt be sleeping in, doesnt seem like you have tried too hard to find a job...only a job you WANT.
 

Cop2be

PF Fiend
May 28, 2009
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Denver, Colorado 3oh3! <3
I am qualified..i've been through the training.
I have looked for jobs and got another application tonight.
Its only temporary because its a strike job working at a grocery store.

I also have to find a job that is VERY flexible. Explorers comes first. Attendance is mandatory, only times you can miss events/meetings is if you are sick or have your absence pre approved and with jobs where you work shifts you get a schedule every week and that isn't enough notice for the explorers.
 

IADad

Super Moderator
Feb 23, 2009
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Sorry about the gener mixup, I must have missed that in your introduction thread.

So, at 19 I thought most people considered themselves to be adults. You may want to take inventory of whether you're a girl or a woman. If you're still a girl, and not willing to strike out on your own, then I guess your choice is to live by moms rules.

I wholeheartedly disagree with the job assessment, seems like a convenient excuse. 1) "Piddly teenage jobs" are worth the time, they teach help you grow, teach you about real life, and while it may take having 4 or 5 of them can make you enough money to live on. 2) Where did the assumptions that is was "her gas" spent on going to work? Bike? Bus? Pay her for gas out of you earnings. 3) I don't buy the explorer schedule argument. I bet there are explorers who have jobs. How many hours a day are spent with explorers?

I'm really really not trying to be judgemental or mean, but you seem to need a push out of the nest. Seems like mom likes having you around, likes to have as many elements of control in your life, which is sad, and it's convenient for you because it takes no effort or initiative.

So, sorry I don't have much empathy for your situation, seems like you've chosen to trap yourself in it. I sincerely do wish you good luck in figuring these things out for yourself.
 

HappyMomma

PF Addict
Mar 7, 2008
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Wylie, TX
Cop2be said:
My mom BTW won't let me get a "piddly teenage job" while living under her roof...she says its a waste of my time and her gas.
Wait, isn't it her mother that is saying the "piddly teenage job' is off limits and not the poster?
 

IADad

Super Moderator
Feb 23, 2009
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Iowa
HappyMomma said:
Wait, isn't it her mother that is saying the "piddly teenage job' is off limits and not the poster?
yes, my point was just that she's an adult, she doesn't need to just accept it. She can change her mother's opinion by showing that it won't cost her or she can strike out on her own. Just sitting there and posting about it isn't going to change anything, right?
 

Xero

PF Deity
Mar 20, 2008
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I don't know about all the job stuff... but I do know that when it comes to all of these posts made by young adults/teens complaining about their parents being overbearing, it always comes down to the same thing. When you live with your parents, you have to live by their rules. If you don't like it, then become an adult and move out on your own. I sympathize with you and that sounds annoying, but other than having a one on one conversation with your mom to try and explain and resolve things with her to make your relationship better, you really just have to deal with it or get your own place where you can live by your own rules. You know?
 

gregjohn1229

PF Enthusiast
Jan 8, 2009
334
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Cop2be said:
My brother's friend is spending the night. Around 3am (about 2 hours ago) I had to go to the bathroom so I went...my mom heard me up.
She starts asking me, "Why are you up?"I told her I had to pee.
She was like, "Why were you up before that?" wondering why I was still awake. I told her its summer and I have nothing to do and I'm not getting up early to just sit around the house. (The weather has been bad everyday since the end of May. Tornado warnings everyday for the past week. I have no money to go anywhere and I am not about to ask her for money.)

Its summer. I am 19. No, I am not working but I've all but threatened places for a job.

I point out my brother and his friend are still up, she blames it on me..yet they are both playing video games. I point out that I am in my room door shut/locked, lights off, no sound except my fan and that he couldn't know for sure.

She tells me that HE KNOWS...
I get where she is coming from. I am a night owl...he knows its in my nature to be up late. Its been like that for the past 6 years...nothing is going to sway him.
Unless I was to loudly announce going to bed and start sleep with my door open..there is no other way for him to know any different. Announcing going to bed is corny and I sleep with my door shut to keep the dog out.
How can I show her that no matter what I do, he's going to think I am up?
And how do I show her that I am 19 and he is 14 and that at 19 I simply shouldn't have to go to bed as early as a 14 year old. Different ages have different privilages and while he shouldn't stay up at late, that at my age it's really no big deal.

My mom is very old school.
Thinks everyone should go to bed at 10pm and wake up between 7-9am and get things done early during the day.
Doesn't believe that teenagers bodies are different and their sleep patterns are different.

She'll also not go to bed until he and I are both asleep. Then claim that we keep her up. He usually goes to bed when she does but you can't even hear me when I stay up...I lay on my bed with my laptop.

Thanks in advance.
you sound like a spoiled brat. You should be thankful that u have a home and that your mom is letting u stay with her she is no longer legally responsible for u. You have no job expereince how do u expect toe be a cop in 2010. If all u are going to do is lifeguarding that won't be enough. Somene who has the attitude and lazzines that u seem to have won't make it through the boot camp.
You seem like u have everything handed to u and never had to work really hard to get anything in life. If u ever had to work hard you wouldn't say i am trying to get a job u would have alredy had one by now
 

Xero

PF Deity
Mar 20, 2008
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Some people took it out of hand, but its a part of life to accept that the world does not revolve around you and what you want. And the things you want in life don't just come to you, you work for them. And the people that do things for you need to be held in the highest respects, unless you're paying them to do it. :/

There's only two options. Talk to your mom (see if that will work), or move out on your own. I don't see what's so harsh about that. And I don't appreciate being called pathetic because I'm not kissing a self centered teenagers butt with useless advice. I also hope you read her other thread. She's not even listening to us, just trying to get a rise out of everyone. I see nothing worthy of defending in that.
 

Music-dad

PF Addict
Apr 22, 2008
5,345
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Right here. Right now.
Ok, I read the other thread and have retracted....but it seems to me just ignoring this would have been the way to go.

Sorry if anyone understood, my earlier (now retracted) post was saying the thread was pathetic...not anyone here.

Sorry if anyone took it wrong.

(But I still hate to see people teamed up on, regardless)