Male daycare provider...

[pwsowner]

My public restrooms topic got into discussion of a new business I'm starting, so I decided to start a new thread on that topic. That way we can keep the other thread on its original topic.


I'm a single male, and I'm starting a home-based daycare business to launch late October, caring for 4 or 5 children in my home. Male child care is different, but is being accepted, at least around here in Ontario, Canada.

I first started considering the idea 2 years ago. I've had plenty of experience taking care of other people's children on the occasional basis, and had plans to have a family of my own since I was a teen, but my life didn't work out that way. I'm 49 and single. Pretty slim chance of having my own family now, so if I'm not going to have a family of my own, and I love taking care of children, I'll spend the next 10 to 15 years taking care of other people's children full time.

I spent plenty of time researching the idea, and have talked to many and received a variety of opinions. The last 3 Saturdays I've even been going to yard sales to get some of the things I will need for my new business. At 3 of the yard sales they asked me how old my children were. I told them what I was doing, and all 3 had positive comments and remarks. One said she used to run a daycare business and she's had a few parents wishing there were male providers. Single mothers would like a male figure in their child's life.

Most of the people who know me and what I'm like with children think it's a great idea. The only people who don't think it's a great idea are the ones who think that's a woman's job.

Remember the women's lib days? I was a teen when that was a big deal, and I rooted for the women. Nothing wrong with women police or firefighters, or male nurses, or even male child care providers. Some men can take care of children better than some women.

I was thinking about asking here a while back for opinions on the topic, but I'm a full time church goer and prayer believer, so I asked God to guide me, and now my business is almost ready to launch.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

Do you have the necessary qualifications to do that?

 

[JakeW]

I don't know, I just don't see this at all as sensible. And you are going to get
negative feedback regardless. The slightest slip-up or misunderstand could lead to major problems.

This is different from women's lib.... this is just something that doesn't seem feasible. As an alternative, there's so many other options for starting a business. Like where you rent your own kiosk and sell cell phone accessories which is in very high demand right now.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

It has nothing to do with gender -- somebody working with children needs certain knowledge and expertise, and also responsibility is very very high. And you didn't mention any background.

 

[akmom]

There's a qualification process in the U.S. for licensed daycare providers. I don't know what system they have in Canada. I'm sure he has at least researched how to get a license, and taken the appropriate steps.

I'm a little baffled about the restroom question now. Are you going to be going around shopping with all these children in your care? That doesn't sound like an acceptable daycare routine. For special outings, it would be normal to have another adult present. Because you can't be leaving the other children alone at a park (or store?) while you assist one with the restroom.

 

[Xero]

While I commend you on pursuing your passion for children, and I wish you all the best in succeeding with your business, I can't say I think it is the best idea. In my mind, it doesn't seem like it would go over well. I just would think that you would be better off investing your time and money in a more stable idea. Who am I to say though, I suppose.

Most moms just feel safer and more comfortable with another woman/mom caring for their children, I think that's pretty normal.

I personally just see women as naturally more nurturing than men in most cases, built in mothering instinct and all etc. I am in no way saying a man would do a bad job, but just being honest, there are plenty of female daycare providers out there that I would probably choose from long before considering a single, 49 year old, childless man that considers himself good with kids (please don't take offense, just repeating all things you said about yourself). No real full time childcare experience (only taken care of other people's children on an occasional basis really doesn't count), never raised a child yourself. Those stats are probably not going to work in your favor, and that's not me trying to pick on you, just me as a parent being honest and realistic, if I were ever put in the situation of searching for a daycare provider.

I also agree with JakeW, in that the slightest misunderstanding can easily just blow up your whole situation. Society tends to be more critical of men in matters involving children. I'm not saying it should be this way, but it is. :/

akmom - I personally would want prior permission to be given for a daycare provider to take my child anywhere outside the home, but maybe I am overprotective or expect too much. I'm not really sure, I've never had to deal with daycare at all. We have never even used a babysitter. Other than DH and myself, my kids have only been watched by family members, with maybe a time or two with my best friend I've known for over 10 years.

Anyway what I was going to say on that is, that I imagine a daycare provider would do the same thing as any parent who is alone at the park with their multiple children. One has to go to the bathroom, we all go. I take my kids to the park all the time by myself, and that's what I have to do. It would make more sense to have an assistant or something with you, though (I know I'd like to have one once in a while LOL).

 

[cybele]

I don't really blink an eye at the idea of a male daycare worker, they're quite common here, Sasha had 2 years of male room leaders when he was in daycare and at current Sash and Lux's after school care is run by a woman but all the staff below her are males (all young and studying to become teachers, it's great practice for them).

I am scratching my head along with akmom though, I personally have no experience with family day care, not my kind of thing, but I would imagine that any outings you go on would be to child-specific places, such as the zoo or a play centre or what have you, and all of those places usually have family toilets because they are designed for kids and families.

 

[pwsowner]

I knew this thread would bring up replies, but that's ok. I can answer your questions.

Here in Canada, there are 3 daycare options.
1 - daycare center - multiple adults caring for multiple children - government regulated
2 - licensed private daycare center - 1 adult caring for a maximum of 5 children, limit of 2 under age 2, 3 under age 3, and 5 total, no matter how many adults there are - also government regulated
3 - unlicensed private daycare center - same limits, but not government regulated

Half of all private daycares are unlicensed, partly because once you go through the trouble and expense of getting licensed, you might as well make it a daycare center instead.

Around here, due to the ever increasing number of parents going to work, daycare is in high demand. Parents are booking daycare 6 months in advance.

Unlicensed private daycare has no legal qualifications, and most of those around here have none. I've had more than enough experience with children to know how to take care of them 8 to 12 hours a day, and I have a range of experience. I worked on our Sunday School bus for 3 years and was the driver and the one in charge for the last year, and it was only children we picked up. When I was the driver, I rarely had a helper, so I was in charge of 20 to 30 children for the 1 hour drive before and after church. I also took care of 3 or 4 children at a time for as long as 5 days, so I know the whole 24 hour schedule.

I'm getting a copy of my police record shortly to prove no criminal record, and I'm taking an infant/child CPR course in a few weeks. After I get started, I'm taking an evening course for Early Childhood Education.

Most moms do want to leave their child with a woman, but I alreay know for a fact that there are parents who actually would like to leave them with a man. I'm not going for the majority. I've been self-employed for the last 30 years, so I know how to run a business, and what I'm doing is focusing on a niche market. There is enough demand out there that there are definitely a few looking for me, plus, I'm going an extra step by providing other services as well.

As far as taking children out, obviously it would be with the parents permission. The website and the parent's handbook discusses that. Generally, once a week we will go out somewhere, whether it just be a park, going out for pizza or bowling, or going to a zoo. Parents are even invited to come with us if they want. I own a 15 passenger van, so plenty of room for myself, a female helper, 5 children, and some parents.

A female helper will take care of the bathroom issue, but in the event we go out without a helper, I would have them go to the bathroom before we go, and if anyone has to go while we are out, I would take them all with me.

Being male, there is the extra risk factor, but that exists for anyone alone with children, male or female, just more of a risk for male. That's why it is stated on my site that parents are free to drop in any time. I believe that if children are cared for and loved properly, there is no issue to deal with.

Because of the high demand for child care around here, what I'm thinking about is starting my private one for now, then in a year or so, starting a daycare center and hiring professional care people for that one while maintaining my private one for the parents who prefer the smaller groups.

Don't worry, I've done plenty of research, know all about business, and have been preparing now for 2 years. This is different, but then, so am I. Even as a kid, I was always different from others.

 

[pwsowner]

I would imagine that any outings you go on would be to child-specific places, such as the zoo or a play centre or what have you, and all of those places usually have family toilets because they are designed for kids and families.

Yes
That and the female assistant for outtings means no toilet issue, but there will come the day when that issue may arise.

 

[pwsowner]

Another argument, which I have on my site, is this...

Children shouldn't be left with men
That one is just crazy. Teachers, doctors, coaches, dentists, nurses, priests and pastors, camps groups and clubs for children. They are not all female, and some are in charge of your child for hours at a time. Do you take your child out of school if they have male teachers? What about your pediatrician? If you have a son and a daughter, do you have 2 different doctors for them?

 

[babysitter]

Gender does not correlate with proficiency in child care. Male or female, the people that are proficient child care providers all share the same qualities: deep care for others, empathy, warmth, creativity, patience, resourcefulness, and open-mindedness.

 

[babysitter]

I don't know, I just don't see this at all as sensible. And you are going to get
negative feedback regardless. The slightest slip-up or misunderstand could lead to major problems.

This is different from women's lib.... this is just something that doesn't seem feasible. As an alternative, there's so many other options for starting a business. Like where you rent your own kiosk and sell cell phone accessories which is in very high demand right now.

Women were commonly told very similar things only years ago: e.g., "I support you in anything you do, but it's just not feasible for a woman to be a police officer." Your comment is, frankly, sexist. No job should be gender-exclusive, period. Your words (e.g., "it doesn't seem feasible") make it seem like you view yourself as distanced from this matter, but the prevalence of attitudes like yours is the very reason it is often not feasible for men to work as child care providers. It's because of closed-minded people like you that it wasn't feasible for women to work in "man jobs" then, and it's because of the same kind of people that it's not feasible for men to work in "woman jobs" today.

 

[pwsowner]

I have to add, back in the women's lib days, when I was all for equality, I had no idea that one day I would be interested in a "woman's job". I guess now I might have to start a "men's lib" organization. lol

Sexism, racism, other ism's, they will exist forever.

 

[cybele]

I completely disagree with Jake but I really don't see at all what this has to do with women's liberation.

Also, I know you meant it as a joke, but 'men's lib' really isn't funny when you consider the gender pay gap that women still have to deal with or that many workplaces still don't have sexual harassment laws.

 

[pwsowner]

Also, I know you meant it as a joke, but 'men's lib' really isn't funny when you consider the gender pay gap that women still have to deal with or that many workplaces still don't have sexual harassment laws.

It is still a serious issue, probably in every country. There is more equality now than there used to be, but I doubt it'll ever be equal.

 

[cybele]

How wonderfully optimistic.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

Well, if i had to take my kids to nursery, i'd expect people working there to be professionals -- i mean with knowledge on child development, psychology, early education., not somebody "from a street" only saying - i like kids. It's like -- i want to be a brain surgeon, i have a lot of practice with a tin opener. And nothing at all to do with gender.

 

[akmom]

Knowledge on child development, psychology and early education? That sounds great, but is it really necessary? I mean, most parents don't have that, and spend more time with children than professional caregivers. I think parents tend to look for someone who is trustworthy, responsible, and shares their philosophies on important matters. Are they really looking for a degree in childcare?? I mean, what exactly are you expecting the kids to get out of daycare? Having their needs met and getting age-appropriate stimulation is all that's important. And for a 0-5 year old, that shouldn't take a college degree...

It's not brain surgery. It's important like brain surgery, but doesn't require the level of knowledge or precision that brain surgery does to be effective. You know?

 

[cybele]

In most other first world countries it's a legal requirement of running a home day care. I completely understand Natalie's point as it's the same here, no diploma in early childhood development, then no home day care. So to hear of someone planning to run one without any education on child development makes you go "HUH?" as it's not your norm.

 

[stjohnjulie]

Thought I would just throw in my 2¢.... I would only put my children in a licensed daycare situation or know the caregiver extremely well. The three providers that I have had for ilo have all had their masters in early childhood education (which I am willing to pay more for). And whether good or bad, when he was very young, I would pick a female provider who has children herself over a male.