Male daycare provider...

[babysitter]

Also, I know you meant it as a joke, but 'men's lib' really isn't funny when you consider the gender pay gap that women still have to deal with or that many workplaces still don't have sexual harassment laws.

The concept of a similar movement in support of men's rights is only good. You imply that the championing of such a movement would pose some sort of threat to the movements in support of women's rights; I don't understand this. Just because someone supports a men's rights movement, does not mean he or she does not (or would not) also support a women's rights movement; the OP is living proof of this. Movements in support of equality should never be viewed as opposed or pitted against each other; in doing so, one would be going against equality. I am not exactly sure about what you meant, but I feel I must say that all movements in support of equality deserve equal respect and support. The OP champions movements in support of both men's and women's rights; in a perfect world, everyone would do the same.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

chances of a boy reporting abuse by a woman is close to nil, and even if he does, he is more likely to be considered "lucky" than to be take seriously...

It is taken very seriously when it is child abuse. But in cases when a teenager has sex with slightly older, usually attractive female - however immoral, illegal, and stupid that can be -- it is not paedophilia.

 

[cybele]

I don't even know if I can comment on the last two posts... we're heading into "walk away and bang head against wall" territory now.

Mens liberation and it's not pedophillia. 6am is too early for a drink, isn't it?

 

[akmom]

One of the main complaints I hear from parents who have kids in center-based daycare is that they get hurt a lot by the other kids. The caretakers either don't pay enough attention or don't have a good system for separating physically aggressive children.

The other complaint is sanitation. No matter how thoroughly they sanitize each toy, you still have snotty kids chewing on things and sharing them before the end of the day, and they're going to spread germs. I suppose it's the same situation you get in kindergarten, but with younger children who are less sensible about hygiene.

These problems are not present in quality home daycare or with a good nanny.

 

[singledad]

Case in point.

When an adult woman has sex with an adolescent boy, under the age of consent, it is statutory rape, and in many cases it is also hebephilia, which is only slightly different from paedophilia in that the perps prefer kids who have reached puberty. And if you want, I can refer you to a site where you can read countless first-hand accounts of exactly how harmful it is to the kids.
(hint - you're attitude is part of the difficulties male victims of female perps face)

That is why she of consent laws also apply to boys.

It's time society starts getting the hell over these double standards.

 

[pwsowner]

It is however, nearly impossible to get stats on this that even approaches accuracy, because the chances of a boy reporting abuse by a woman is close to nil, and even if he does, he is more likely to be considered "lucky" than to be take seriously...

Very true.

It's only the last 20 years or so that child sexual abuse has been getting reported more. It's still kept secret by most victims and even more so with boys.

 

[pwsowner]

One of the main complaints I hear from parents who have kids in center-based daycare is that they get hurt a lot by the other kids. The caretakers either don't pay enough attention or don't have a good system for separating physically aggressive children.

The other complaint is sanitation. No matter how thoroughly they sanitize each toy, you still have snotty kids chewing on things and sharing them before the end of the day, and they're going to spread germs. I suppose it's the same situation you get in kindergarten, but with younger children who are less sensible about hygiene.

These problems are not present in quality home daycare or with a good nanny.

That and the fact that private daycare is more like being at home are reasons why more parents are preferring private care. I think younger children are better off in small groups, and when they reach school age, probably better off in larger groups.

 

[pwsowner]

It's time society starts getting the hell over these double standards.

:cheers:

God made us different, but he didn't limit what we can do.

 

[akmom]

and in many cases it is also hebephilia

It's a new term to me, but I wonder, when you are presenting these statistics of sexual assault, don't most of them fall under this category? I mean, a girl's risk of sexual assault is greatest (statistically) when she is 14-15 years old. (That might actually be a technicality related to the age of consent, with total risk relatively equal for all adolescents.) So when you cite that estimate of 30% of all perpetrators being women, and us knowing that victimization is greatest in adolescents at least for girls, then are we talking about possibly 99% of all assaults by women being at teenage victims? That is awful, but in the context of choosing childcare for a preschooler, what is their actual risk of assault? Is it extremely rare?

I know there was that story earlier this year of a nanny from Honduras, known to the family for several years, who lived with the family and cared for the children when they parents were at work. They had even taken a family vacation with her to visit her family in Honduras. Then all of the sudden, one day the nanny snaps and murders both children. Could that have been avoided with another caretaker present? Probably, but it is such a rare and unexpected occurrence, that it wouldn't even make sense to blame the type of childcare in this situation. So I just wonder, given actual risks of female caretakers assaulting preschoolers, and all the benefits of home-based childcare, can we really say center-based care is better because two adults are there?

 

[pwsowner]

It's impossible to know the statistics for sure because most is never reported, but it is a fact that children of all ages get molested, even babies. In most cases, the molester is someone they know and trust, and that's why most cases don't get reported. The child knows the abuser and therefore trusts and believes him (or her), so the abuser has power. Sometimes they will threaten children to keep them quiet, but more often they will just convince the child that either:
- it's their fault
- it's normal
or
- adults will never believe them

Any child of any age left alone with any adult for any amount of time is at risk. The main reason is because parents don't teach their children about that topic, so they believe whatever the abuser says. If parents were to teach their children about proper and improper touching, and good and bad secrets, an abuser would have very slim chance of getting away with it because the child will know it's wrong and will tell.

It's like the scary topic of sex. Some parents don't talk about that, then they wonder why their children are using words they never imagined them using, and why when they get older, the children won't talk to them about it.

C'mon parents. When your child gets curious about gender differences and starts asking questions, answer them. Don't go into more detail than they want, but don't shy away from the topic. To the child, it's no different than any other topic, until you make it that way.

 

[Xero]

It is taken very seriously when it is child abuse. But in cases when a teenager has sex with slightly older, usually attractive female - however immoral, illegal, and stupid that can be -- it is not paedophilia.

Um, well it's called statutory rape. Why do you want it to be called Pedophilia? It's illegal and wrong, one way or another.

The other complaint is sanitation. No matter how thoroughly they sanitize each toy, you still have snotty kids chewing on things and sharing them before the end of the day, and they're going to spread germs. I suppose it's the same situation you get in kindergarten, but with younger children who are less sensible about hygiene.

These problems are not present in quality home daycare or with a good nanny.

I'm pretty sure kids that are in home daycare get colds and share them, too... I don't see what kind of difference location or type of caretaker has anything to do with that. You have a bunch of kids together, sharing toys, wiping snot on each other and making each other sick. That's just kids for you. You put them together in any type of situation, and they're going to do that. No matter how close you pay attention, you can't keep them from sharing germs. Unless you quarantine the sick ones or something haha. They even do that at the park and whatnot. Even just my two boys, with my attentive one on one care as their mother, share every single germ that they get haha. I already pretty much know that if one of them picks up a cold, the other one is going to get it too.

 

[singledad]

It's impossible to know the statistics for sure because most is never reported, but it is a fact that children of all ages get molested, even babies. In most cases, the molester is someone they know and trust, and that's why most cases don't get reported. The child knows the abuser and therefore trusts and believes him (or her), so the abuser has power. Sometimes they will threaten children to keep them quiet, but more often they will just convince the child that either:
- it's their fault
- it's normal
or
- adults will never believe them

Any child of any age left alone with any adult for any amount of time is at risk. The main reason is because parents don't teach their children about that topic, so they believe whatever the abuser says. If parents were to teach their children about proper and improper touching, and good and bad secrets, an abuser would have very slim chance of getting away with it because the child will know it's wrong and will tell.

It's like the scary topic of sex. Some parents don't talk about that, then they wonder why their children are using words they never imagined them using, and why when they get older, the children won't talk to them about it.

C'mon parents. When your child gets curious about gender differences and starts asking questions, answer them. Don't go into more detail than they want, but don't shy away from the topic. To the child, it's no different than any other topic, until you make it that way.

Very true. Although it doesn't completely remove all risks, education as you describe, together with not teaching your kids to blindly follow orders from persons in positions of authority, are probably the most powerful defenses you can give you kid...

Btw, although sexual abuse is probably the most serious, it is not the only risk. I named a few more above, and there are several others I don't have the time to list now.

 

[pwsowner]

Yes, there are many different risks, but let's see now...

Things like cleanliness and age appropriate toys, you're assuming registered centers get daily inspections. I don't know about other countries, or even our other provinces for that matter, but here in Ontario, registered centers get inspected yearly. What about the other 364 days?

Proper training...
I've been around long enough to know that no course can teach as much as real life experience. Training will teach things that may not have been learned in real life yet, so it does have it's pluses, but even with the best training, it doesn't guarantee that person will be good with children. It comes down to the question, did they take the course because they love working with children, or was it because they want a job? There were never courses on parenting or child care 30 years ago. Does that mean nobody has done it right for the previous 2000 years?

Training is an advantage, but it doesn't guarantee anything.

Other risks like any form of abuse exist for all children, whether in any kind of care or never in care. Even in group care, are the adults strapped together in pairs to make sure no child is ever alone with one adult? At home, do you never leave your child alone with anyone? An older sibling, aunt or uncle, cousin, lifelong friend, what about the father, or even the mother? Children have been abused by everybody. Even not left alone, there are cases where both parents abused their child.


I guess this is a good time to bring up another reason I'm going into this new business.

When I was 14, I saw a movie called "Little Ladies of the Night". I'd never even heard of prostitution before then. After that, I started studying and found out about things like abuse and why children live on the street, and just how bad it is out there. I made my life decision when I was 15, and have done a bit since then, but will never be able to do what I really wanted. I decided I'm doing whatever I can to protect children and help get and keep children off the street. I few years later I saw "Children of the Night", not the newer horror movie, the one with Kathleen Quinlan as Lois Lee. I then found out about the real Lois Lee and the "Children of the Night" organization and I decided that one day I was going to do the same thing.

It looks like my lifelong plans will never be, so instead I have to do what minor things I can do to help protect children, so I have a couple websites about child abuse and protecting children.

Every child that has been in my life has been taught a little about what they need to know. In every case, I talked to the parents first to enlighten them, then asked if they wanted to talk to the children or wanted me to and in all but one case, they asked me to.

With my new business, any children in my care will also be taught about touching, secrets, and their right to say no, age appropriately, by either myself or the parents.

Now for a whole new set of replies...
lol

 

[mom2many]

I don't care if someone is male or female. I don't care if it's government ran, or a private in-home care center with a single girl or a single guy.

I will ask all the questions that need to be asked. I will talk and talk and talk with the provider. I will walk through the place, and then I will follow my gut.

I don't even get that option (unless I want to pay for private school) when I send my kids to school. I have to have some trust, but my trust comes with my eye's wide open.

I was abused in a government ran daycare center. My mom noticed a change in me, and spyed on them. That's how she discovered it, and the center was closed down a month later. It's also why my dad's parents paid for me to attend a private Christian school.

This video, is one of many out there. A well staffed center, means nothing.

<YOUTUBE id="GIdApdH9ZCg" url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIdApdH9ZCg">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIdApdH9ZCg</YOUTUBE>

 

[pwsowner]

I will ask all the questions that need to be asked. I will talk and talk and talk with the provider. I will walk through the place, and then I will follow my gut.

Very wise, and no matter what your gut says, do spot checks, ask the child every day how it went, and look out for signs of trouble.

I was abused in a government ran daycare center. My mom noticed a change in me, and spyed on them. That's how she discovered it, and the center was closed down a month later. It's also why my dad's parents paid for me to attend a private Christian school.

I'm glad your mother noticed. Many parents don't, or they will ask the child and he/she will say nothing and they will leave it at that. I'm also glad they shut that place down. I hope the abuse didn't have any long term effects on you.

This video, is one of many out there. A well staffed center, means nothing.

Daycare needs to be done by people who want to do it, not by people who just want a job. Anything like that happens in my care and they get 1 warning, then 1 day sent home, then home for good.

 

[pwsowner]

I'll have an idea shortly if this will work or not. I posted an ad on Kijiji and have contacted several who have ads there looking for care. Interest and replies, or lack thereof, will give me an idea if I'm wanted out there.

 

[singledad]

What I'm realising is that the difference between registered/regulated and not is much bigger here that in the US/Canada. Here, you ate basically powerless against an unregistered daycare. Unless you can get the owner prosecuted for child abuse, the best you can do is remove you're child, and leave them to continue harming other children. And often, they know that. A registered centre can loose their license for something as simple as a dirty kitchen, and they know it. So I , as a parent, can report then and have then closed down. If the parents are vigilant, the day care has to go by the book our face closure. I have that power. Yes, it's reactive. No, it's not perfect. Abuses still occur. But it's better than the alternative, at least for me. First prize would still be for one parent to stay home and care for the child, but that isn't always possible.

Anyway, op, you sound like you have you're ducks in a you're, and like you have honourable intentions, so I wish you ask the best. Please understand that nothing I said here was meant as criticism against you, specifically. I just wanted to give my perspective of unregistered in-home daycare, do that you would be aware of it, since I an by far not the only parent who feels this way.

 

[pwsowner]

Nothing here is taken as criticism against me. I fully understand the fight I'll be up against for being a private daycare provider, and more specifically, a male one. That just means I have to work harder to sell myself, then prove myself, and I have to look more for those who would want my services.

My businesses are always focused on niche markets. In 1988 when I first went on my own doing home renovations, I knew how to do pretty much anything, and I liked doing quality work, so I focused on the market where people wanted one person doing multiple jobs, rather than having to hire multiple people, and I focused on the ones who want quality as opposed to speed. I did a few jobs for some very well off people and they always liked the end product. I called that one Quality Home Renovations. In 2002 if you wanted a website, you had to look for 3 things, somewhere to register your domain, then somewhere else to host your site, then another company to design it. I decided to put it all together and started Premier Website Solutions, all your website needs. It went well, until a few years ago. Now Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, etc, are the norm. There is now lots of competition and less people want real websites, so I went back to home renovations.

Now it's time for Little Angels Daycare +, more than just daycare.

 

[babysitter]

I don't even know if I can comment on the last two posts... we're heading into "walk away and bang head against wall" territory now.

Mens liberation and it's not pedophillia. 6am is too early for a drink, isn't it?

I find it disturbing that you equate the two concepts—the former being something that deserves respect that support, and the latter being ridiculous.

 

[babysitter]

I fully understand the fight I'll be up against for being a private daycare provider, and more specifically, a male one

: a fight against the misinformed, ignorant, prejudiced, and discriminatory. It will be taxing, but a triumph will prove beneficial not only for you and your clientele, but for the broader community and the cause.