Moving the Family - not the easiest thing to do....

[Shaun Austin]

Me and my wife recently decided that we need a new house for when number 5 comes along. Our current house has 6 bedrooms (one used as a study/library/musicroom) We have a lot of personal items which fill our home and when number 5 comes along we'll be bursting at our seams. There will be no more room in our house.

We really don't want to move house cause this place has been our family home since Callum was born (we moved in 3 weeks before he graced us with his presence in our family) at the time when we moved in it was just a standard newly built English 3 bedrom semi detached house with a large garden and unusual double garage (they are normaly single). Anyway we loved living here and filling it with our stuff. This house was different cause before this we had lived in houses we had to renovate, this was ready to move into.

As our family grew we built a kitchen extension and in doing so added an open plan dining room/family room. We also had a conservatory and a Loft conversion done. A room was added over the new kitchen, and we ended up with the house in its current form. Our family grew and we filled the house up. Now its a mad house full of activity (try having two dogs, two cats, and countless other pets, and four children).

Now some of our neighbors said why don't you just extend even more onto your house. Our answer being we would never be able to get the planning permission. So we have come to the decision to upgrade our family home to something more sizable. However we're at a loose end on how to tell the kids. Only Sam has lived somewhere else and that was for less than a year. The house in a way has become part of our family, and we have many happy memories. The kids will also be moving away from friends on our street, and local area. However telling them will be hard and we could really do with your tips. Especially as we don't want any more stress than need be for Charlotte.

Thanks
Shaun Austin

 

[mom2many]

I'm not sure, we are a family of ten on an early 1900's 4 bedroom farm house..they aren't big at all. Why? Because my kids would prefer to stay were we are and instead choose to thin things out.

 

[bssage]

Are the kids going to need to change schools?

Do you already know where your moving to?

Are Callum and Cameron mobil (do the drive)?

Its a big deal. But not a big deal like it used to be. In all likelihood they will say their goodbye's. Fifteen minutes later be texting "wat's up?" to their buds.

I think that is how I would approach it. The world is really not as big a place as it used to be. Heck I keep in touch with people I had no intention of keeping in touch with through fb and such.

If they are in their last year of school or something. That would probably be a hard sell. Friends are friends. Moving doesn't mean losing a friend anymore. Just an opportunity to make more friends. That is the angle I would take.

 

[akmom]

Hmm... it sounds like your current home is perfectly suited to your family's needs, and what you really need to do is downsize on "stuff." There's already enough bedrooms for everyone to have their own (which is not even essential). All you have to do is convert the music room to a nursery. Better yet, keep the infant in your own room for a year or so. Your oldest child is 17 and will probably move out by then anyway, making another room availabe. (Is 18 the age of majority there? It is here.) Looks like your second child is right on his heels. There is also the very practical notion of someone sharing a room. Maybe Sam and Callum, since Sam will probably only be home during breaks from college anyway. Or maybe the new baby can share with Cameron (if it's a boy) or Maddie (if it's a girl).

To me, it sounds like a clutter issue, not a true space issue. You'd rather move than sort through the clutter. My parents were the same way. After watching a few episodes of the TV show "Hoarders," they started taking a different perspective and downsized. Not they lived anything like the people in that reality series... but the underlying issues were similar.

Just remember, you'll probably be forced to sort through all the stuff whilst packing up anyway. Not to mention getting the home "showable" for sale. There's no sense keeping things you don't use, and I'm betting that if you filled a six-bedroom house, you're keeping a lot of extra stuff you don't use anymore. Just a thought.

 

[Shaun Austin]

To Bssage - Sam and Callum would not have to move school becasue they go to an independant (seperate from a secondary school) Sixth Form College (the stage before Degree level) in the Centre of Huddersfield and we plan to move somewhere in Huddersfield (we love Huddersfield). Sam can drive but has only just passed (17 being the legal driving age over here). He only has a moped and his mother's car. We also have a house lined up for if we can sell ours at the price our estate agent has quoted.

To akmom - That sounds like a great idea in theory (downsizing our stuff) but the issue is there are many sentimental/personal items which we don't want to get rid of because they have personal value and memories to us. The other idea of waiting for Sam to move out either to university or his own place. Now in theory this should work Baby number 5 is due in June, and Sam will be off to study in September. We could have Callum and Sam share until Sam goes (they should take sharing okay) then give Sam the guest bed (a single bed in our 'other bedroom'). Converting the other room back into a bedroom is an option as we look into it because we could move the library into the family room and other places, the office into the underused landing. We could then move the music stuff into the garage which is also underused as we don't put the cars in there. So thanks for the ideas.

 

[cybele]

We have moved house a couple of times, we have bounced around a few rentals before buying, with the kids.

Honestly, moving is such a non-issue for me. If you want some more space then just hype up the new place.

A house is just a building, a home is what is inside it

 

[akmom]

Man, I hate moving. I also hate relinquishing things of sentimental value (which almost everything has), or anything that has a use (whether I use it enough to justify it or not). I don't like wasting things. But I've had to learn to go through with it over the years, because I realize the value of space, and I don't want to pay for extra space so I can double as a storage facility. When we were renting, I always thought that the tendency for clutter was due to our small place, but when we bought a house I realized that the tendency to "fill up" is there no matter how much space you have. I'm trying to impart skills of neatness and minimalism to my kids - which is not easy for a person whose tendency is to keep anything and everything - and so I try to go through my stuff occasionally and downsize, and encourage my kids to do the same with theirs. I grew up in a home with lots of clutter and it was a burden, and we also moved a lot, which was also a burden. So *my* tendency is to shun both!

 

[Shaun Austin]

We made the decision to move today, we decided that not only is it time for more space it is time for a change of surroundings. We tell the kids tomorrow so wish us luck (they should take it okay). We'll keep you informed of how they react and how the move goes

 

[cybele]

Good luck.

 

[Shaun Austin]

Thanks Cybele

 

[Shaun Austin]

Well we told them, and after all the questions like where too? and will it effect our schools? and so on. We got a possitive answer all four kids are up for the move. The only thing that was a little bit of an issue (but we soon got around) was the fact that Charlie (our Border Collie who died four years ago) is burried in the garden here with a memorial. After promising to make a new memorial and taking the million and one pictures of him with us. They all said together "when can me move". I don't know why i thought it would be so hard to tell them or why it should have been an issue in the first place. Like Cybele advised we hyped the place up on how it would be bigger and have more space both in and out, said how we would all be happy and how its should be closer to work for me and Charlotte and schools for the kids. It paid of so thanks Cybele

 

[cybele]

No problems

 

[Shaun Austin]

Now for all the boring stuff that comes with buying and selling homes and moving :/ all though im sure we'll get through it all. If any one is interested in a six bedroom two reception 3 bathroom property in Northern England then please get in touch lol

 

[jammyone]

Personally, I moved many times during my childhood. And even though at the time i didn't like it, it was for the best. Moving and forcing you to adapt to new environments was one of the best life-growing experiences I have had.


If it is the right thing to do, it's the right thing to do. Kids will always try to resist change (mostly), but eventually they will thank you for it.