I am a single Dad, with a 23 y/o son who has always had special needs. I understand that.
I am in the process of moving to a brand new house being built in Florida. I am newly retired and was looking forward to this new stage of my life. I guess my son will be part of my retirement. He is not working and seems to never been able to hang onto any of the minimum wage jobs he has had. I don't think he will ever be self sufficient. He goes out a lot - usually after midnight - to visit his "girlfriend" or wherever. I do not think he is doing anything bad, but he can not stand to be alone and loves to be with others.
I own a vacation condo at a ski resort and he does not often come with me. But when I leave him at home alone he calls me up after a day or two and tells me his anxiety is acting up and he is uncomfortable being alone in the house and begs me to come home. So I have to cut short my visit and go home.
He is seeing a psychiatrist and is on anxiety meds.
My plan has been to have the house in FL, but also to go to the condo for 4-6 weeks in the winter to ski. (And go for a month or so in the summer). But now I am realizing that this may not happen. He will never manage being left alone in a new house in a new state, not knowing anyone. I can picture him calling me two days after I arrive up there and asking me to please Dad, come back. So my Dad time skiing will be cut way short. The thought of this upsets me. I don't want to be selfish, but still I think I deserve my own time too.
I have told him that he may need to go stay with Mom (in another nearby state to where we are now), but he does not like her place.
Any comments? Ideas?
I am in the process of moving to a brand new house being built in Florida. I am newly retired and was looking forward to this new stage of my life. I guess my son will be part of my retirement. He is not working and seems to never been able to hang onto any of the minimum wage jobs he has had. I don't think he will ever be self sufficient. He goes out a lot - usually after midnight - to visit his "girlfriend" or wherever. I do not think he is doing anything bad, but he can not stand to be alone and loves to be with others.
I own a vacation condo at a ski resort and he does not often come with me. But when I leave him at home alone he calls me up after a day or two and tells me his anxiety is acting up and he is uncomfortable being alone in the house and begs me to come home. So I have to cut short my visit and go home.
He is seeing a psychiatrist and is on anxiety meds.
My plan has been to have the house in FL, but also to go to the condo for 4-6 weeks in the winter to ski. (And go for a month or so in the summer). But now I am realizing that this may not happen. He will never manage being left alone in a new house in a new state, not knowing anyone. I can picture him calling me two days after I arrive up there and asking me to please Dad, come back. So my Dad time skiing will be cut way short. The thought of this upsets me. I don't want to be selfish, but still I think I deserve my own time too.
I have told him that he may need to go stay with Mom (in another nearby state to where we are now), but he does not like her place.
Any comments? Ideas?
