My father is pissed off at me...

[Hartz75]

My father lives, not even 10 mintues from me by car, my In-laws live in Scotland, 7 hours by plane. We speak to them on the computer every Sunday via Web cam. They fly out to see us twice a year, once in the summer and once over christmas. They are over now I love my in-laws they are wonderful people.

Well it is fathers day, typically the morning is for my hubby and the girls and then the afternoon we see my dad. This year we could not as my in-laws are down. They are not anti-social, but they feel like they have to socialize with the family if we go there or if my family come here and they would rather prefer to get on the floor and play with the kids for the 10 days they get with them. My inlaws would never ask me to NOT see my family, I have taken it apon myself to tell my family that for those 10 days I dedicate my time and the kids time to them.

Well we bumpt into my dad on Sunday (I did call him and left him a happy fathers day message) he gave me a guilt trip for not coming to spend the day with him . My grandfather is also in the hospital so I was trying to speeze in time to see him as well and my grandmother cannot drive and has dimentia, he is not well and my grandmother is alone (that is a whole other story). So I told my dad that I loved him but I can see him next week and that with Papa in the hospital I need to see to him and Nana, he got all huffy and said "but I am your Dad."

Oh I am ticked at him right now, My family jsut pulls at me this way and that, I can't take care of everyone and my own kids too

 

[IADad]

It sounds like you do a phenominal job of trying to keep everyone's feelings considered and juggling everything. It seems that he's being pretty petty, and I guess I'd be tempted to tell him, "really? Really dad, is this what you want to spend your energy, keeping some silly tally of moments spent where and with whom?"

Do you have siblings Hartz? Maybe he wants to explain how he spent absolutely equal attention and effort on each of you...no he didn't, you can't and that's not what life is about. You love always and give when you can.

 

[Hartz75]

yes I have a sibling she is 3 years older then me and she is a paramedic, she was on shift work this weekend so she could not see him either, but she called him as I did.

I told me hubby that my Dad can be a selfish Pr*** at times.

 

[www777]

Ah he probably just feels like no one loves him and would probably understand if it were any other day. All you need to do is just go there and wish him a normal day (every day is fathers day as any mom knows) and tell him that he special and he will forgive you instantly! In his heart he knows that you spend more time with him anyway and will probably feel guilty for being such a grouch!

 

[mom2many]

I would have taken a few hours to see my dad, I can understand his feeling being hurt (mind you this is just from the little perspective you gave, I obviously don't know him). If my kids didn't at least come over for a few hours on Mothers Day I would be pissy also...I raised them a few hours on special occasions is not to much to ask.

 

[www777]

I think when children grow up and have their own lives then things become very tricky and it is difficult to understand that we are not the center of their existance anymore even though they love us and would hate to make us sad.
Its difficult to juggle everything and keep everyone happy!

 

[Hartz75]

It is difficult and he wants to come first and foremost before anyone else in my life or my kids lives. He does not call us, or come to visit us we always have to go to him. He is retired I am a busy working mom.

I lived in an apartment for 5 years jsut down the street from him, every week or 2 we would walk with my eldest daughter to his house and she would always ask Why don't you visit me Papa??? hmmm