Naming...

[Xero]

no, we didn't do it to find out gender....that's just one of the side effects...

when mom's pushing 40 and worried about these things (genetic issues) you do them...and the hospital we did it at really put the risk into perspective...it's way overblown. But, yes, you would not ever do it just for gender identification....

Oh!! I forgot you guys were older when you had your kids, that explains a lot. There's a lot of increased risk for genetic problems past a certain age, so I completely understand.

One problem with sharing the name you've chosen beforehand, is some people feel compelled to tell you your choice is "stupid". I heard some flack about the names I had chosen for my first born, so I didn't share ahead of time with my others. I just got flack later, though. When relatives came to see me in the hospital, and I'd told them the name of my middle daughter was "Annika", one relative actually said, "That's a dumb name, but maybe we can call her "nicky"! What was really insulting is that she had a dog named nicky at the time. I think Annika is a lovely name, but more importantly, so does my daughter.

That's a beautiful name!! I knew a girl named Dannika once (spelling could be wrong, but you get it lol). Anyway, seriously that's rude. I know where you're coming from though, I had a lot of problems with people thinking it was their business what I named my kid while we were naming Eli. It pissed me off. Usually my response was something like "Well you've already had the chance to name your kids, and this is my kid and my name to choose and it really only matters to me if Steve and I like it." but I'm pretty forward with people. Or just "I don't care, I love it". People will find any reason to dislike a name just because it isn't John or Ashley.

 

[16th ave.]

my thought is: who's raising this kid? you or me?

annika is a pretty name. so is dannika.
you can't please everyone. there's always someone who has to belly ache.

 

[ElliottCarasDad]

One problem with sharing the name you've chosen beforehand, is some people feel compelled to tell you your choice is "stupid". I heard some flack about the names I had chosen for my first born, so I didn't share ahead of time with my others. I just got flack later, though. When relatives came to see me in the hospital, and I'd told them the name of my middle daughter was "Annika", one relative actually said, "That's a dumb name, but maybe we can call her "nicky"! What was really insulting is that she had a dog named nicky at the time. I think Annika is a lovely name, but more importantly, so does my daughter.

We had a similar situation with our first. We had a few names picked out but everyone (In-laws) had an opinion and rude comment. So for our second we didnt tell anyone until after she was born. If they pressed us, we told them the name was going to be "Smelly McPoopsalot". Which, in hindsight, would have been appropriate also.

 

[IADad]

now while I think there are some stupid names out there (and stupid people who give as much thought to naming a child as they do their choice of dinner entree) in the end it comes down to a parent's choicce, a parent's right and I can't imaging a relative actually telling me a name was stupid. I can guarantee that'd be the last conversation had with that relative. And even worse that the "stupid" comment, is the notion that it's okay for them to choose a nickname. I hate it when people assume they can nickname my child, I gave them names, and I've used their names in your presence, or in some way documented what they are to be called (in the case of schools etc.) now I expect you to use those names (and I already know what I'm going to do the next time somebody takes that liberty, I'm going to makeup a nickname for them, see how they like it....can't wait for the opportunity to use that.)

oh, and btw, Annika is a bperfectly lovely name, not that you need any endorsements.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

When my older sister had her babies, she was discussing the names with everyone, and that did her no good. the "others" were aunties, grannies, uncles, other very close relatives. and she would get such comments like -- oh i know a hooker named this, or there's a retarded kid in neigborhood with such name, or some very distant relative who is in jail has the same name. she was literally forced to give kids different names than she had wanted.
so i said i'd never discuss names with anyone except my husband.

since i'm an immigrant, non native english speaker, i wanted international, "translatable" names (like Laurence, Robert, Edgar) and my husband wanted something like Riley, Leroy, Jeff (which sound very odd in my langauge). so i was completely out of ideas. so when my husband was scrolling the names indexes online, and pointed at Marvin, i thought -- well, it can be translated into a very popular name in my homeland. and Luke is also very popular name there. ok, done. but if i could turn back the time, i'd definetly choose another name.
with second one i did some consulting with others. we liked Willis, Clyde, Roy. But i was convinced that William sounds more solid than either Willis or Clyde, and Roy is a perfect middle name.

 

[Lorelei]

Relatives can be soooo thoughtless about names. My middle daughter was only half a day old when the relatives decended on us in the hospital. I will never forget the things they said when we told them her name was Annika. Which, I think, is a very sweet name! The way we pronounce it, it rhymes with "Monica". It's a slovic name for "my little annie" I'm told. Anyway, One SIL said, "That's a dumb name, but we could always call her "Nicky". At the time, that SIL's dog was named Nicky.

My daughter is now 23 and she loves her name. That's all that really matters.

Lorelei

 

[Xero]

See I'm rude and I would have told them off lol. Some people (when I told them my son's name would be Elijah) said that they would be calling him Eli, but that didn't bother me because I planned on primarily calling him Eli, and I only wanted him to have the name Elijah because I felt Eli was too short. Or well, mostly his dad thought it was lol. So I didn't care when they said that, but if I had cared I would have told them NO you will call him what I SAY he is to be called, kay thanks. You guys be pregnant for 9 months and then go through child birth for 12 hours and then you can name your own kids, isn't that exciting! lol But I call my boy Eli, but occasionally Elijah if he's in trouble or we're being cute haha.

 

[Jeremy+3]

We didn't find out the gender of any of our children, we didn't make a list of names or anything either, we wanted to meet our children first and give them a name that suited. So until birth, they were all called Dave. Jackson is named after his grandfather on his mothers side, Amelia, I wanted her to be called Bandit as in smokey and the bandit, my wife really didn't like it but agreed for bandit to be her middle name, which everyone calls her. She thinks its really cool, she told me a few days ago that the singer from her favourite band has just had a daughter and named her bandit, so I think I earned some cool points there. Jake is just Jake, we got a bit bored choosing names. Our foster children though newborns when they came to us were already named.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

maybe anyone can help me out, but how do you make people call your kids by their FULL names (i hate shortages)? my little boy is William, and i'm very annoyed when people start "oh, little Billy"... how to avoid that?

 

[fallon]

I nicely correct them at first, and explain she goes by her full name. She'll even correct people which is pretty funny. We not only don't shorten her name to Deb or Debbie, she goes by her first and middle name, Debra Lyn

 

[16th ave.]

I nicely correct them at first, and explain she goes by her full name. She'll even correct people which is pretty funny. We not only don't shorten her name to Deb or Debbie, she goes by her first and middle name, Debra Lyn

i agree 100%

if that doesn't work, getting rude about it (since in a sense they're being rude by not respecting you and using the name you've chosen).
atleast, i know it works with the pushy and clueless ones.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

what i noticed, it's questionable the name i've chosen
my husband is Andrew, in childhood he was Andy. he went to the army, and afterwards he's Drew, nothing else, never Andrew, only Drew.
so the relatives say the same about William -- they say, he'll want to be called Billy afterall. i say whatever -- he's William, and nobody calls Prince William - Billy!

 

[Father_0f_7]

Our youngest sons name is Andrew William. We always called him Andrew, then when he was about 5 he told us he didnt like Andrew (a lot of his friends are named Andrew) and he wanted to go by William or Billy. So we kind of just let him choose which name he wanted to go by.

 

[Lorelei]

My daughter Annika corrects people herself, when they try calling her "Annie". She tells them quite firmly, "My name is ANNIKA." However, I have one sister who insists on mis-pronouncing this name. Like I posted before, it rhymes with "monika". But this sister says "Anne-ika". My daughter shrugs, and ignores her whenever she talks to her. It's not like we can "get even" by mispronouncing her kids' names, which are good, solid, simple names. Kate, Jan, Steve, Brian, and David. When we get birth announcements now from other relatives, they always put the name and any preferred nickname right in the birth announcement! It's a little late to do that now - but if anyone reading this is going to send out birth announcements, you might add if it is okay to use a nickname or not.
Lorelei

 

[16th ave.]

my ex-sil tried to call emmy by amberlynn. uh uh. after a few corrections and suttle hints and getting tired of her mouth anyway, we ended up putting it to her plainly and a little rudely that emmy was emmy or emily or a nickname we had chosen (emmylou tu tu) but not amberlynn. it shut her up quick enough. after that she used emily

 

[Claire64]

My daughter also tries to go by her full name: Kathleen, but people are always calling her Katie and Kathy. She gets pretty annoyed, but just tells them "My name's Kathleen, and I go by Kathleen." That usually works.

My youngest, on the other hand, is Nathan, and everyone calls him Nate or Natey, and it doesn't bother me, or him. I think eventually he'll just go by Nate.

I didn't think it was possible to shorten Ryan's name, but it is. For the last few years, his friends have called him Ry. His girlfriend even calls him Ry-Guy.

 

[fallon]

I'm still undecided on shortening the new babies name. I like Madeline but already everyone is calling her Maddie. Debra Lyn goes by her first and middle name, but we call Logan "Bub" most of the time. Funny how things work out

 

[guardianof3]

I have yet to have any children of my own, but I would only tell my family and my husbands.

The children I already have with us: their mother told everyone the day they were born. She kept everything to herself.

 

[Xero]

guardianof3 - We appreciate you posting! Just try to make sure that the last post in a thread isn't any older than 30 days before posting in it. This one is from last year. Don't worry, we have all done it. Thanks!

 

[jessicaadison010]

A lot of parents have shared with me in whispered tones about their regret over the name of their baby and the guilt it creates for them. Some parents fall for popular names only to realize after putting it on the birth certificate of their child that they've made mistake. Others are pressured to stick to the family tradition of naming their child and come up with a name that they dislike. Then there are the parents who aren't able to agree with one another, and the other parent ends with a grudging acceptance of the other. here is a complete guide how to choose middle names for Ella that suits with other siblings.