Hey everyone!
I'm new here, and am so glad to have found a forum that tackles issues that deals with parenting and other people's children. I have a 19 year old daughter, my fiance has a 14 year old son. My daughter has been living with her biological dad since she was 15 (VERY rebellious back then, but she has improved immensely). My fiance and I have been living together for 3 years now, and his son comes to visit every other weekend.
The issue I want to discuss is: is it OK for my fiance to ALWAYS leave his son with me? Don't get me wrong, he's a great father. However, when he leaves to run errands, he never asks me if it's OK to leave his son with me. He'll give his son the option of whether he wants to stay home with me while his dad runs to the store or even a few errands, but he's NEVER given me that option and I just feel that it's always been disrespectful, as if I don't have plans to go anywhere (which most of the time on the weekends, I don't, but still...). My daughter comes to visit us on the weekends as well, not as much anymore because she has a job and a life outside of me.
However, I've never left my daughter with my fiance except for one time, and when I DID leave her at home with him, they were both still asleep and it was early morning. Although they were still asleep, I still had the decency to ask him if it was OK that my daughter stayed with him while I went to get us some McDonald's for breakfast-and she's 19!! But I feel that she's MY responsibility, not his, and I thought he should feel the same way. He said he didn't mind her staying with him, and that was fine. But I have NEVER had the luxury to be asked if it's OK if his son stays home with me while he's out running errands. He may be gone anywhere from 30 minutes to maybe a couple of hours. It's never been such a long time to the point where I say something about it, well...one time, there was. I could be asleep, taking a nap, and I'll wake up and see his son on the couch playing his video games, while I have NO IDEA where his dad ran off to, his son will have to tell me where he's at. I really don't like bringing his son up to him about anything, because anytime I do, he'll get defensive over him. But that still doesn't take away from the fact that I feel like a babysitter. He's done this ever since I met his son, and that's been 3 years now.
What do you guys think? Am I making too much of it?
Thanks!
I'm new here, and am so glad to have found a forum that tackles issues that deals with parenting and other people's children. I have a 19 year old daughter, my fiance has a 14 year old son. My daughter has been living with her biological dad since she was 15 (VERY rebellious back then, but she has improved immensely). My fiance and I have been living together for 3 years now, and his son comes to visit every other weekend.
The issue I want to discuss is: is it OK for my fiance to ALWAYS leave his son with me? Don't get me wrong, he's a great father. However, when he leaves to run errands, he never asks me if it's OK to leave his son with me. He'll give his son the option of whether he wants to stay home with me while his dad runs to the store or even a few errands, but he's NEVER given me that option and I just feel that it's always been disrespectful, as if I don't have plans to go anywhere (which most of the time on the weekends, I don't, but still...). My daughter comes to visit us on the weekends as well, not as much anymore because she has a job and a life outside of me.
However, I've never left my daughter with my fiance except for one time, and when I DID leave her at home with him, they were both still asleep and it was early morning. Although they were still asleep, I still had the decency to ask him if it was OK that my daughter stayed with him while I went to get us some McDonald's for breakfast-and she's 19!! But I feel that she's MY responsibility, not his, and I thought he should feel the same way. He said he didn't mind her staying with him, and that was fine. But I have NEVER had the luxury to be asked if it's OK if his son stays home with me while he's out running errands. He may be gone anywhere from 30 minutes to maybe a couple of hours. It's never been such a long time to the point where I say something about it, well...one time, there was. I could be asleep, taking a nap, and I'll wake up and see his son on the couch playing his video games, while I have NO IDEA where his dad ran off to, his son will have to tell me where he's at. I really don't like bringing his son up to him about anything, because anytime I do, he'll get defensive over him. But that still doesn't take away from the fact that I feel like a babysitter. He's done this ever since I met his son, and that's been 3 years now.
What do you guys think? Am I making too much of it?
Thanks!