Well I came here hoping, for advice or if someone has had similar experience. My wife and I are at wits end with our ten year old, she has been a pretty much consistent wetter since the time she was toilet trained, we feel we have tried everthing, she dosn't wet at night. We have bee to the doctors and he found a UTI which is gone now, other than that her bladder is normal, I am afraid it's only a matter of time untill she wets enogh that others notice and she will be destroyed socially, we have taken away privilages, given rewards, encouraged, yelled, ignored and cried. So now for the sake of our furniture and carpet we are back to diapers (Pampers 7) as of last week. I don't like this option, we tried pullups but she wets those and sits in them and that brought back a UTI she seems more aware of the diaper (and no we do NOT let her mess them) she seems to do better at being aware but my wife and I have to put them on which is awkward for all involved, but she can't get them on herself tight enough so they leak. She hates it and we feel awful but we have gone through a couch and I ripped up carpet in one area and tiled the floor because the smell would not come out. Anyone have any ideas, I hate changing diapers. ~Worried Dad
Need some help...
- Thread starter WorriedDadinUT
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I feel your problem totally. I was a bed wetter for a long time, up until the age of 18 on occassion. My son also had this issue up until the age of 6 so this is my plan and was the only thing that worked.
This is hard on you for a while but every night you need to get her up at about 11pm, if she hasn't wet yet, and put her on the potty. My son usually wasn't even awake when we would do this but we would tell him to pee and he would. I would be the one to mostly hold him up and walk him to the bathroom. If she's wet by 11pm do it earlier. And she may need to be awoke twice in a night. We did this consistatly for about 3 months and after that we didn't wake him up and he would get up on his own. I know for me and him we were just too heavy of a sleeper and we couldn't feel our body telling up to get up to pee. But after a while your body wakes up automatically because they get into that sleep rythum.
I really hope this helps, Mis
This is hard on you for a while but every night you need to get her up at about 11pm, if she hasn't wet yet, and put her on the potty. My son usually wasn't even awake when we would do this but we would tell him to pee and he would. I would be the one to mostly hold him up and walk him to the bathroom. If she's wet by 11pm do it earlier. And she may need to be awoke twice in a night. We did this consistatly for about 3 months and after that we didn't wake him up and he would get up on his own. I know for me and him we were just too heavy of a sleeper and we couldn't feel our body telling up to get up to pee. But after a while your body wakes up automatically because they get into that sleep rythum.
I really hope this helps, Mis
So, if it's not the nighttime giving problems, it's during the way while she's at school?
It may not be the bladder as much as it could be the urethra. Did your doctor check all of the affiliated organs? Have you gotten a second or third opinion?
My best guess is that perhaps the pelvic floor muscles might be weak creating her to have incontinence. This can be improved with kegal exercises, which, you should probably have your wife discuss this with her rather than you.
:swoon:
Here's a link from WebMD you could probably check out! It's very informative.
http://www.webmd.com/urinary-incontinence-oab/womens-guide/urinary-incontinence-in-women-topic-overview[/URL]
It may not be the bladder as much as it could be the urethra. Did your doctor check all of the affiliated organs? Have you gotten a second or third opinion?
My best guess is that perhaps the pelvic floor muscles might be weak creating her to have incontinence. This can be improved with kegal exercises, which, you should probably have your wife discuss this with her rather than you.
:swoon:
Here's a link from WebMD you could probably check out! It's very informative.
http://www.webmd.com/urinary-incontinence-oab/womens-guide/urinary-incontinence-in-women-topic-overview[/URL]
Appreciate the link Crimson I will definatley look into it some more, we did take our daughter to Primary Childrens Medical center here in Salt Lake, they said that all of the her primary organs in this, bladder, uretha, etc... are or look like they function normally, she does wet at school and we don't want to be forced to diaper her there either that would be the kiss of death. So too would be if it ever finally soaked through her pants like she does at home. When we ask her what is happening or why she thinks it happens she says she dosn't know. I just feel like I have let her down by going back to diapers when shes home.
Have you considered making your daughter responsible for her own wetting accidents? You mention pulling up a carpet and some tile and throwing out a couch, but perhaps if she had had to pull up the carpet and tile or been personally responsible for cleaning the couch and doing her laundry when she wets, the chores associated with the wetting will become more of a hassle than it's worth.
I know you say your problem is not nighttime, but I used this method for two nighttime bedwetters who had to strip their beds, launder the sheets before heading to school and then remake their beds before bedtime. It took two of these events with one child and three with a more stubborn one, before they decided that paying attention to needing to go was less of a hassle than the consequences of just "letting go" as it were.
Perhaps in your efforts to be helpful to your daughter, you have gone to the extreme of actually making her think that this behavior does not have any real consequences, other than some yelling and frustration that her parents deal with.
Putting any of my kids back into diapers for wetting was ineffectual. Also, for some of my kids, wetting was a silent protest to home disruptions, like moving, or fears that were very real to them. If you have explored all the possible physical reasons, it might be time to consider psychological ones. Another very helpful tool is for your wife to teach your daughter kegel exercises and to have her practice these while on the toilet, working gradually to where she can actually have enough control to stop peeing mid-stream. Teaching her just how much control she actually does have, may give her additional confidence to overcome this.
Although it goes against what you have now done, I would get rid of the diapers and tell her that any messes she makes, she gets to clean or deal with. I'd start on the weekend, so she doesn't have school to deal with.
I know you say your problem is not nighttime, but I used this method for two nighttime bedwetters who had to strip their beds, launder the sheets before heading to school and then remake their beds before bedtime. It took two of these events with one child and three with a more stubborn one, before they decided that paying attention to needing to go was less of a hassle than the consequences of just "letting go" as it were.
Perhaps in your efforts to be helpful to your daughter, you have gone to the extreme of actually making her think that this behavior does not have any real consequences, other than some yelling and frustration that her parents deal with.
Putting any of my kids back into diapers for wetting was ineffectual. Also, for some of my kids, wetting was a silent protest to home disruptions, like moving, or fears that were very real to them. If you have explored all the possible physical reasons, it might be time to consider psychological ones. Another very helpful tool is for your wife to teach your daughter kegel exercises and to have her practice these while on the toilet, working gradually to where she can actually have enough control to stop peeing mid-stream. Teaching her just how much control she actually does have, may give her additional confidence to overcome this.
Although it goes against what you have now done, I would get rid of the diapers and tell her that any messes she makes, she gets to clean or deal with. I'd start on the weekend, so she doesn't have school to deal with.
It's certainly something to look into, for the record any wet panties or pants she is required to wash, dry and fold them when they are done, she also knows to use the spot remover on ares she had an accident when she was sitting, the good news is that I know that she can use the washing machine, the bad news is that she takes this for granted. I'll look into the kegal exercise for this weekend and see if it works, my question is did you feel like a heel putting your children back in diapers?
Do you think she's wetting in an effort to get attention? Or do you feel this is something she cannot help?
I just don't think it's right for her to be punished and/or making her responsible for something that isn't within her realm of control - not at 10 years old. I'm saying this because I used to punish my son for his acting up, not concentrating, bouncing off the walls, etc and the discipline would get harsher and harsher for every time I had to get on to him or correct him. But after he was diagnosed with ADHD and I finally came to accept it, I also in turn did a lot of research about it and found that punishing a child for a 'disability' of theirs has a great possibility to push the child into regression with future consequences of feeling inadequate. Don't take this the wrong way because my son is definitely not allowed to act up and/or get away with murder <I>just because </I>he's got a disability. However, I have learned to distinguish whether its him testing his bounds or his inability to do as I asked. I now feel really bad for making him feel worse about something he can't fix, but is aware of. I don't really think it's any different than trying to correct someone with terret syndrome (perhaps a poor example)... sometimes there are just things that people cannot control on their own and need assistance helping them control it.
I just don't think it's right for her to be punished and/or making her responsible for something that isn't within her realm of control - not at 10 years old. I'm saying this because I used to punish my son for his acting up, not concentrating, bouncing off the walls, etc and the discipline would get harsher and harsher for every time I had to get on to him or correct him. But after he was diagnosed with ADHD and I finally came to accept it, I also in turn did a lot of research about it and found that punishing a child for a 'disability' of theirs has a great possibility to push the child into regression with future consequences of feeling inadequate. Don't take this the wrong way because my son is definitely not allowed to act up and/or get away with murder <I>just because </I>he's got a disability. However, I have learned to distinguish whether its him testing his bounds or his inability to do as I asked. I now feel really bad for making him feel worse about something he can't fix, but is aware of. I don't really think it's any different than trying to correct someone with terret syndrome (perhaps a poor example)... sometimes there are just things that people cannot control on their own and need assistance helping them control it.
No offense taken, she's an only child (we have feritlity issues) and she has very good grades and we have never had any disciplinary problems, thats why we are so perplexed, thats why we are using the diapers now, because it's been ongoing for five years. We are just emotionally exhausted and she dosn't seem to be able to explain it. Being diapered is not the perfect solution it has made her more aware of needing to go though, we have only had to change her a handful of times (for myself I am grateful) but I just wish we knew why and for how long this is going to last we are scheduled for a doctors visit again in Feb.
So, as a toddler/preschooler, she progressed normally? I say normally, based on my own children. My middle child, the one with ADHD, wet the bed - on occassion - long after my youngest child stopped and it would infuriate me. I learned it was a condition of the disability. Since he's been on the meds, we haven't had a problem. You say she's been doing this for 5 years, so since she was 5, right? Was there anything during that time that happened? Was she really sick or was there some life-changing event of some kind? These could be possible psychological triggers for her.... or we could all be over analyzing here and it's just as simple as having weak muscles!!!! Could it be that maybe she's just waiting too long and her bladder just simply cannot hold anything else? Have you tried reminding her several times to go to the rest room? Is there any sort of consistency or pattern to when it happens?
I'm really sorry about the whole diaper thing. My daughter would absolutely flip out if I attempted to put her back in diapers - regardless of the situation. She's 9 with a big adult attitude!
:arghh:
Well, I hope you are able to find something and I really do believe and will pray that the exercises will help her out. They certainly won't do any harm! When you guys go back to the doctor, I would discuss incontinence. She's young and this generally affects the elderly or aging, but I don't see why it would be 'impossible' for a child to have it too. And consider removing the diapers. She doesn't need to have something to depend on. She needs to learn about what she's feeling and when it's time to take care of it. It's no different than training your toddler to potty like a big kid, right?
I'm really sorry about the whole diaper thing. My daughter would absolutely flip out if I attempted to put her back in diapers - regardless of the situation. She's 9 with a big adult attitude!
:arghh:
Well, I hope you are able to find something and I really do believe and will pray that the exercises will help her out. They certainly won't do any harm! When you guys go back to the doctor, I would discuss incontinence. She's young and this generally affects the elderly or aging, but I don't see why it would be 'impossible' for a child to have it too. And consider removing the diapers. She doesn't need to have something to depend on. She needs to learn about what she's feeling and when it's time to take care of it. It's no different than training your toddler to potty like a big kid, right?
LoL boy I understand the attitude, and when my wife and I approached her about this, I think I would rather ride in a tornado than repeat the experience, as for anything happening at that time nothing except that she was not fully toilet trained untill then, she had an underdeveloped bladder which is why we looked into that first thing. If you've had any similar experience with this you'll know suggesting they go to the bathroom is worth one of those 'are you stupid, of course I did' looks.
Ah, well, this is where the benefit of "looks can't kill" comes in to play. You return a glare of, "don't look at me like I have no clue what I'm talking about!" looks. 
Have y'all been back to the doc yet? Anything new?
Have y'all been back to the doc yet? Anything new?