Need tactical ideas ASAP!...

[jhobbsart]

Hello all,

I found this board & registered hoping to find new perspectives and tactics.
We have two boys, 8 and 10. Like night and day in most areas. As a result,
[/COLOR]
we have to reinvent the wheel most of the time.

A brief history... Our oldest (mostly mellow, easy going) went through a stage at 7 or 8 for almost a year. He was testing bounderies, nothing new, but did so with much hostility. He was moody, angry, and disrespectful most of the time. Any communication between us took me to new levels of frustration. With him, adjusting discipline, practicing patience, and teaching the relationship between the privilages he enjoyed and the level of maturity he demonstrated worked. Fortunately, he settled down and we once again enjoy spending time and talking together.

Now, here is where I am stuck.
My youngest, 8 (full of P&V) appears to be entering into the same sort of era. But I have run out of effective disciplinary measures, and have to get really creative to keep the praise level high. Nothing we have tried in the past is working. And at this age, I believe corporal punishment sends
hypocritical[/COLOR]mixed messages.

The situation is escalating [/COLOR]rapidly, and I am at a loss. I need something big. A "shock and awe" scenario for an eight year old. Something to remove any question of who is in charge, and firmly re-establish the heirarchy of this family.

Anybody have any really unique, creative ideas??? (willing to consider cruel & unusual) ...kidding

 

[Kaytee]

well it depends on the situation and what the child did. If it is something big, pack up (or have him do it) all of his tuff (non essentail stuff, toys, tvs, video games ect..) put them in boxes and move them out of his room. Let him know that he can have them back when he learns to behave appropriately.
Again this just depends on what he is doing. If its making faces at the dinner table, then this would be extreme

 

[Trina]

We're going through something similar with my youngest. She is strong willed and is our challenging child. We had to play hard ball a few times and take away her most valued privileges - PC, Nintendo DS, Wii and play dates. She acted tough at first, as if it didn't bother her, but we knew better. She lost those privileges until she could be sweet and respectful to us and prove that she could be trusted again. I have to say, it was not fun for a few days. It's hard being strong and not caving when they pull the drama card, but it's necessary or they just won't get the message.

 

[HappyMomma]

I try not to say this too often so I don't sound like I'm a book promoter, but have you checked out Parenting with Love and Logic. It has some wonderful insight into teaching your child responsibility and respect while not letting up on building their self esteem. They have some articles on their site and I ordered the book through ebay and just finished it last night... some real good stuff.

 

[Trina]

HappyMomma, I've read one L&L book and have one of their CDs. I do like the basic philosophy (allowing kids to choose from acceptable choices and letting them suffer natural consequences) but couldn't do the whole approach exclusively. Like most parenting books, you pick and choose what you agree with and what works in your situation, but yes, I was able to add to my bag of parenting tricks by becoming familiar with L&L.

I've found this book to be helpful as well.
<U>Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent and Energetic</U> by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

 

[AnKsMommy]

When all else fails...Nanny 911!!!

j/k

Well, I like what the ladies had to say.

For me, what always worked was taking away the thing that I loved the most *baby pillow* and not getting it back till I could be respectful. My parents do with with my 11 year old sister *it's her ps2 that she's loving* and it works pretty well.