I honestly think that setting her up is the wrong thing to do. I have run into this with Kayla as well and I no longer ask her questions that I already know the answer to (or at least try not to). When I ask her something, I expect her to tell me the truth, but she's a child and even if she doesnt think she's lying, she doesnt always tell the entire truth. I dont ask things like "did you brush your teeth". Instead I will say "If you haven't brushed your teeth yet, I'd like you to do it now please". Nonconfrontational but she understands what I want. Its when it becomes confrontational that the battle errupts. I have not had a problem with her not "obeying" when I've approached it like that. I used to ask everything and it was really difficult for her to "admit" something that she perceived as not what I wanted. So, if I asked her "did you brush your teeth?", she would think the "right" answer was yes, and it was hard for her to say "no". Granted, we've had conversations about lying and if she thinks she's in trouble, she will try to lie every time, but a little "poking" on the big stuff and its usually pretty obvious that I'm not getting the entire story.
I guess I can understand though when you say you try and live your life with the thought that "God is watching". I sometimes am that way too, thinking "if my Grandpa is watching me right now, what would he think?". My Grandpa passed away several years ago and always seemed to do the right thing. I dont know if there is a right or wrong answer on that one, but kids do find themselves in the middle of mistruths, and if you want her to be honest, I think you need to stop setting her up to lie. You're basically telling her that you dont trust her by doing that and it can quickly become a battle. I have enough battles so honestly that is a skill I have found particularly useful is to not ask what I already know. Amy