Our lifestyle is now a problem...

[litaelise]

I figure asking some people on a anonymous message board is probably the best way for me to get some much needed advice on my problem. Here it is. Me and my long-term boyfriend live a D/s lifestyle, more specifically, a female-led relationship. We've been together for seven years and are still completely in love with one another. We each have two children from previous relationships and have two more which are ours (though he is not the father of either). We are very happy in this lifestyle and have been since the beginning. We of course keep lots of the aspects of the D/s relationship behind closed doors, I'm sure its obvious to our children who exactly wears the pants in the family. Anyway, my oldest daughter is 20 and since we are relatively close in age, we have always been more like sisters than a mother daughter combo. We really don't have any secrets and she has known about my bf and my lifestyle for several years now. The problem is that she got drunk a few weeks ago and told my bf's oldest daughter, who is 14. Worse, she showed her my blog on the net, which details her father and my lifestyle. Luckily there is nothing too graphic on the blog, and no pictures, but now I know that she knows about some things like the orgasm denial, cuckholding, penis and testicle torture etc.....I don't go into detail about them in the blog but I do mention them.
Since finding out, she has been very cold to me and sometimes even unfriendly. We used to be very close and I miss that, but I don't think we should have to give up our lifestyle to please her. I fear that she read those things and doesn't realize that her father is consenting. I hope she doesnt' think I force those things on him, or am cheating on him right in his face. The worse part of all is that now she knows that her two younger sisters are not actually related to her, as they were the result of cuckholding. I don't know what I can do to fix this situation, and I'm afraid it may ruin my relationship with her permanently.

 

[Cthru]

I'm likely not the person you want to hear from.. but I'll give my 2cents anyway.

I think as a responsible parent it's long overdue that you let this 'lifestyle' go. Of course you could only keep it a secret for so long. Is it really worth losing the respect of your children? I can't imagine having children from someone other than my spouse. Obviously you are older.. it's time to grow up and be a role model for these kids. Guess what? I'd love to go rob a bank.. I'd love to take my paycheck and go to mexico.. I don't because I'm responsible and have children who depend on me.

Get that blog off the internet and clean up your act.

I don't blame the kids disgust one bit. I'm sure she's mortified and embarrassed and confused on every value you ever tried to teach.

 

[Xero]

Well writing a blog was a bad idea... If there's something you don't want your kids to know, something private, don't leave evidence anywhere because they WILL find it. They're way too smart for all that. Honestly, I think that lifestyle is a little irresponsible, but that really is the way some people like to live their lives. I can't say anything because we can't all be the same, and there is no definition of normal. It's not a good idea to have that kind of activity around children I'll admit, and I can imagine any kid being hurt, confused, and devastated at finding out they are not related to their siblings because of it. I'm not sure what I would do exactly if it were me besides try to apologize that they got mixed up in my childish pleasures (no offense but you know), and explain to them it's something you and the guy both like to do and everyone is different, and you aren't trying to hurt anyone. Then I would try my best to keep all that much more discrete, if I even continued to do it at all.

The sad part is all you can do is apologize and hope that they find a way to deal with it and heal. They won't understand, because what you do is kind of strange and most people would find it awful wrong (mostly the part about having other guy's kids during sexual acts with your real guy). No offense though, do what you want, it's your sex life. However you should really try to keep it to yourself, and try not to get kids involved.