Parental Controls for internet...

[RealDad]

Hi There.

I'm getting concerned about what content my children have access to on the internet. Obviously I can't control it all the time but I figure there must be something I can while they are home. I don't think they use the internet when they are with their friends anyway. Too busy causing mischief in the physical world.

I'm aware there are some software packages out there and perhaps some devices. I'm wondering what experiences others have had with these.

Do they really work?
Are they easy to use?
Can tech savvy kids get around them easily?
Any other thoughts?

The reason I ask if they really work. Here in Australia there was a big stink when the federal government spent 84million dollars on a national porn filter. When they launched it, a 16 year old boy hacked around the system in less than half an hour. So the Government chucked the whole idea in the bin. woops!

 

[Dadu2004]

There are some decent packages out there...the first that comes to mind is Net Nanny. Also, some home routers have built in filtering options...though if you don't know the ins and outs of configuring your router, then a software package will be a better option.

 

[GavinH]

I have used both Net Nanny and Web Watcher and they do both work. You do need to consider what you want to do though - filter only or filter and set times for accessing the web or actual monitoring activity. Web Watcher also has key logging capability which allows you to gather passwords and other 'typing' if you need to track various instant messaging and similar activities.

Be aware however that a really tech savvy kid can hack past these tools and I suspect there are even web sites dedicated to helping kids bypass parental controls. I heard of a parent that set up all the filtering at the router but the kid just connected to the neighbors unsecured wireless system.

This kinda leads us to the whole discussion on reading your child's text messages, instant messaging and Web activity and how much privacy a child can or should expect.

 

[RealDad]

This kinda leads us to the whole discussion on reading your child's text messages, instant messaging and Web activity and how much privacy a child can or should expect.

Yeah. That's an issue for me too. I don't want to spy on my children. But then, I watch over them when they are playing in the yard or the park. It's my job. If there's something inappropriate going on, I put a stop to it. If there's someone trying to lure my children into danger, I...

 

[Dadu2004]

Yeah. That's an issue for me too. I don't want to spy on my children. But then, I watch over them when they are playing in the yard or the park. It's my job. If there's something inappropriate going on, I put a stop to it. If there's someone trying to lure my children into danger, I...

My feelings exactly.

 

[bssage]

This has been my experience and it has been a couple of years since I tried so it might be better now.

The automated systems are PITA. I ended up going to my son's computer every 5 sec (exagaration) to "allow" stuff. It was such a pain that I just pitched the whole thing.

That said this is what I do. And its not a perfict solution. Just IMHO and how I handle it.

The internet is not a private thing for our kids or ourselves. I try to get this point across at each opportunity. I think its a disservice and misleading to let our kids believe anything else.

So Cole know's that I look through his history and read his stuff at will. I have explained to him when he is on the net its just like having a group of people looking over his shoulder, Teachers, Grandparents, parents, peers, and employers (when he is older).

I think of it less as "spying" and more as trying to steer him away from behavior that will not be in his best interest down the road.

IMO its bad bad to lead them to believe internet or texting is private. It is not.

 

[parentastic]

It's not so much porn I'd be worried about; it's cyber-bullying and cyber-stalking.

In our family communication courses, we learned that one of the only thing that can help counter that trend is to only provide internet on a desktop computer located in the hallway or in a living room, somewhere central were all can see and the screen is visible by all.
It helps limit the chances of cyber-bullying, etc.

Of course as soon as your child has access to a laptop, it's nearly game over for that, because they can access a neighbor's wireless network.
So really, there is no better protection that to train children with self-discipline through a lot of different conversations about what is appropriate or not, and where to stop, and hope they can regulate themselves.

It's a complicated question.

 

[robjohnson]

This has been my experience and it has been a couple of years since I tried so it might be better now.

The automated systems are PITA. I ended up going to my son's computer every 5 sec (exagaration) to "allow" stuff. It was such a pain that I just pitched the whole thing.

I agree. A lot of the systems out there aren't very user-friendly and this idea of "not wanting to spy" seems to be a common theme in this area of parental controls.

I am new to these forums and I was so surprised to see this much conversation about monitoring technologies. I am a graduate student and I am actually working on a project right now that is trying to solve these problems - but more for social networks (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) rather than the internet as a whole.

Our idea is this so far - the parent would sign up to receive email alerts for whatever they want (cyber-bullying, posting of personal information, things that could potentially compromise their future, porn, violence, signs of drug and/or alcohol use, etc.) and when one of those alerts were triggered - it would just send the parent an email.

Does anyone think this would be useful? Should something about it be changed? We really just want to make it as useful and easy for parents as possible.

 

[MMJR1092]

I would think the easiest way would be to make sure all internet access occurs in a central area such as a living room or hallway, or just talk to them. In my opinion programs like this are nothing but trouble.

 

[JRP88]

They do work and are increasingly easy to install. They are not easy for kids to spoof until the kids are old enough to have independent internet access anyway.

 

[Shaf]

I agree with all that mentioned...but on top of that, i believe that we have to instill basic principles and values. Maintaining an open communication would also be essential.

 

[mccubbin]

Net nanny is a great package

 

[m2003n]

I certainly agree that frequent and consistent communication about appropriate use of the internet is paramount.

 

[taylorburton]

If you want to limit the actual amount of time your kids spend on the computer, usually Windows or Mac have controls built into it to only allow the computer to be used between certain hours by a certain account.

 

[RealDad]

If you want to limit the actual amount of time...

I want to make sure they don't blunder onto inappropriate content. We do have fairly frank conversations about sex and such things when they ask. They've stopped asking and think it's because they're satisfied with the answers.

I guess my main concern is that they keep their healthy attitudes and don't end up getting this warped view I see in the media and with many young people where sex is viewed as sport. That just seems dangerous to me.

I am also concerned about online stalkers. Even I have been approached by scheming scamming so and so's. There's a dark side out there. I've talked to them about this too and told them that if ever they are feeling weird about the questions being asked they should grab me or their mother and show them.

Thanks for all your input so far. I'm still not closer to finding something that is going to work for me.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

I don't bother. For now, the computer is in the living room, so for my 7yo is enough for control.
Maybe that parental control software is getting better, but a couple of years ago my friends tried something, like "guardian dog" or whatever it was called. at first, it caused inconvenience by blocking yahoo greeting cards. then they tried to experiment how effective it actually is. what they found out, that it allows gay porn.

 

[Madkatter]

Hi there. I agree with just having the computer in a common area. I really don't find the need to censor my kiddo...my parents never told my brother and I what to watch/listen to/look at and so I chose to be the same with my son. HOWEVER, I am terrified of pedophiles! 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls will be molested. So when it comes to social networks etc I really don't want my son off in a corner on the internet. So we kind of just chill on the couch while he has the laptop or whatever. My son is very bright and mature for his age but predators can get the best of anyone.

 

[RealDad]

like "guardian dog" or whatever it was called. at first, it caused inconvenience by blocking yahoo greeting cards. then they tried to experiment how effective it actually is. what they found out, that it allows gay porn.

ouch.