Long story short...
I've recently moved in with a woman who has a 3 1/2 year old son. I've had ALOT of experience with children, but never had any of my own. I lived with a friend once while waiting for my house to be built, he had four kids, I lived there for almost a year, and was very involved with every day family life. His kids were 3, 5, 8, and 10. So, there was a lot of variety (to say the least)!!
My issue: My GF's son is 3 1/2 and he won't sleep through the night. EVER. Since I've moved in he's slept through the night once. We had a glass of wine as celebration!! He doesn't nap during the day anymore, he goes to daycare daily and gets his buns run off there. We get him into bed by 7:30pm and hopefully he's asleep by 8pm. Every night, he wakes up crying (not real, just to get Mom's attention), he cries for Mommy. Last night it was because he wasn't covered up and wanted to be tucked in. It's always something small. The other night he had a bad dream. I think that this is a reason to go to his bed and comfort him, but I feel that otherwise, he should be sleeping through the night. He's fully potty trained, during the day, but at night he wears pull-ups. He knows when he has to pee, but I think that he pees in his pants just so he can get some attention.
I've tried to get involved and to help, but he wants no part of me going into his bedroom to help him. He wants Mommy. Ok, fair enough, I'm something new in his life. But I think that the real reason he wants Mommy is that she'll sit there and chat with him, I won't. I'll go in, ask what's wrong, solve the problem, and then go back to bed. This isn't good enough for him.
I hate to say it, but he's spoiled. When he calls, Mommy runs to his side. If he's watching TV and his drink is empty, he calls for Mom, and she runs to fill it. Is it just me or should he be going to Mom with his cup and asking for a refill? (this is only one example).
He won't sit down and eat. He eats less than any child I've ever seen. Mom has taken him to the doctor, doctor says "he's healthy, don't worry about it". I disagree. He's a little bundle of energy, and gets to eat whatever he wants. No what's placed in front of him. Is this right? Does he have an option? We aren't feeding him wierd food or anything...
Please help me, I'm used to getting a full nights sleep. I'm a mess without it. I know there will be nights when I/we will have to get up to help him with something, he's only a young boy, but this every night thing is killing me (and his Mom). Oh, and did I mention it's never only once a night? Usually twice, sometimes more.
I'm trying to convince Mom that I may know what I'm talking about, but she says "it's my child, I've raised him and I know him best". But I think that there are commom truths to raising a child, and running to his side every time he calls, day or night, is not right. It'll create a child who's dependant on those around him, not an independant individual.
I'm trying my best around here, I help everywhere I can. I didn't come into this relationship lightly. I knew it would require a new level of dedication to not only his Mom, but to the boy as well, and in turn, to both of them as a family. I Love them both very much, and he truly is an amazing child, but he's got his mother wrapped around his finger, and I don't know what to do about it.
Sorry to go on so long, this is all new to me, and I'm doing the best I can, but I really need some help here.
Signed:
Sleepy in Sardis...
I've recently moved in with a woman who has a 3 1/2 year old son. I've had ALOT of experience with children, but never had any of my own. I lived with a friend once while waiting for my house to be built, he had four kids, I lived there for almost a year, and was very involved with every day family life. His kids were 3, 5, 8, and 10. So, there was a lot of variety (to say the least)!!
My issue: My GF's son is 3 1/2 and he won't sleep through the night. EVER. Since I've moved in he's slept through the night once. We had a glass of wine as celebration!! He doesn't nap during the day anymore, he goes to daycare daily and gets his buns run off there. We get him into bed by 7:30pm and hopefully he's asleep by 8pm. Every night, he wakes up crying (not real, just to get Mom's attention), he cries for Mommy. Last night it was because he wasn't covered up and wanted to be tucked in. It's always something small. The other night he had a bad dream. I think that this is a reason to go to his bed and comfort him, but I feel that otherwise, he should be sleeping through the night. He's fully potty trained, during the day, but at night he wears pull-ups. He knows when he has to pee, but I think that he pees in his pants just so he can get some attention.
I've tried to get involved and to help, but he wants no part of me going into his bedroom to help him. He wants Mommy. Ok, fair enough, I'm something new in his life. But I think that the real reason he wants Mommy is that she'll sit there and chat with him, I won't. I'll go in, ask what's wrong, solve the problem, and then go back to bed. This isn't good enough for him.
I hate to say it, but he's spoiled. When he calls, Mommy runs to his side. If he's watching TV and his drink is empty, he calls for Mom, and she runs to fill it. Is it just me or should he be going to Mom with his cup and asking for a refill? (this is only one example).
He won't sit down and eat. He eats less than any child I've ever seen. Mom has taken him to the doctor, doctor says "he's healthy, don't worry about it". I disagree. He's a little bundle of energy, and gets to eat whatever he wants. No what's placed in front of him. Is this right? Does he have an option? We aren't feeding him wierd food or anything...
Please help me, I'm used to getting a full nights sleep. I'm a mess without it. I know there will be nights when I/we will have to get up to help him with something, he's only a young boy, but this every night thing is killing me (and his Mom). Oh, and did I mention it's never only once a night? Usually twice, sometimes more.
I'm trying to convince Mom that I may know what I'm talking about, but she says "it's my child, I've raised him and I know him best". But I think that there are commom truths to raising a child, and running to his side every time he calls, day or night, is not right. It'll create a child who's dependant on those around him, not an independant individual.
I'm trying my best around here, I help everywhere I can. I didn't come into this relationship lightly. I knew it would require a new level of dedication to not only his Mom, but to the boy as well, and in turn, to both of them as a family. I Love them both very much, and he truly is an amazing child, but he's got his mother wrapped around his finger, and I don't know what to do about it.
Sorry to go on so long, this is all new to me, and I'm doing the best I can, but I really need some help here.
Signed:
Sleepy in Sardis...
