Hello,
My name is Jocelyn and I'm a mother of five daughters. I am also new to this forum but I used to do chatting and posting quite frequently elsewhere, mostly on Christian-based websites.
I've recently become concerned about my youngest daughter's eating and exercise habits as well as her body image and self esteem. Justine celebrated her fifteenth birthday last month, but she seems to be well above many of her peers in terms of intelligence and she displays an advanced maturity. I daresay she makes smarter decisions and seems more mature than her older sisters despite a large age difference (she is eleven years younger than my oldest). In short, she has never caused any serious problems before, even though I've been prepared for a rebellious attitude after what her sisters went through in their early teens. This is the first time she has done anything I'm not fully approving of.
What is worrying me is her view of her body, her diet and most of all her exercize. Justine's weight has varied quite a bit since she hit puberty. She went from being a slip of a thing as a small child to being quite pudgy around the time she entered middle school. Her height increased significantly and she was stick thin for a while there, and then she became slightly chubby due to development and such. However, when she entered high school she took up a sport, tennis, and also started spending more time outdoors and engaged with her friends, so she got a fairly athletic, lean but not skinny figure. I thought she was satisfied but she has complained from time to time that her legs look chubby and bulky to her and that she "hates" this part or that part, usually her tummy and arms. To me, her limbs are merely muscular but she sees this as fat.
Justine's diet is way too strict. She started out planning a 500 calorie/day diet, which I told her was ridiculous. I requested she stay in the 1,800 range but she expressed dissatisfaction and said repeatedly that weight loss at that rate would be way too slow for her. She managed to agree on 1,200 - 1,500 calories daily. However, she is supplementing it with what is in my view an unreasonable amount of exercise. There is no tennis at school right now, but she has a regular gym class. In addition, my oldest daughter, who Justine babysits for often, reports that Justine uses her fitness equipment almost constantly the two nights or so that she is there each week. There is no problem with this from my daughter's view because her children usually are sleeping or playing quietly when Justine is using the equipment, but Rose looked at the calorie and mile measures for me once after Justine had been there and reported that she is burning about 300 - 500 calories each evening that she is there. Justine also goes for a run or walk most evenings once she gets home, occasionally uses my treadmill and recently bought a "core development" ball with her own money to sit on because it supposedly tones and burns calories and replaces a normal chair.
Something that has added to this problem is, my husband, without my consent, made a deal with her and two of her sisters, to lose between fifteen and twenty pounds by spring vacation. We planned to surprise them with a beach vacation, but he told them the reward for losing the weight would be some new clothes. Justine is about 5'1" - 5'2" now, and I believe her weight is in the 120-125 range. That is in the normal range for her height. Also, since she is athletic I believe most of that weight is muscle, not excess fat. I would be pleased to see her lose 5-10 pounds heathily, but not 20. In my opinion, she would be way too slim at 100-105.
I know she is eager to lose weight and look her best, but she is a beautiful girl and I'm afraid she is going to ruin her health. I believe she is burning away nearly a third of the calories she is eating and she's not eating very much to start with. Just given her preoccupation with exercize, I'm worried. She had a root canal yesterday and was told to take it easy, so no school or exercize yesterday, and she was just climbing the walls. She was literally in her gym shoes and sweat pants pacing and fretting she would gain her weight back. I'm nervous. Is this an eating disorder on the way or just normal teen dieting? Please provide advice.
My name is Jocelyn and I'm a mother of five daughters. I am also new to this forum but I used to do chatting and posting quite frequently elsewhere, mostly on Christian-based websites.
I've recently become concerned about my youngest daughter's eating and exercise habits as well as her body image and self esteem. Justine celebrated her fifteenth birthday last month, but she seems to be well above many of her peers in terms of intelligence and she displays an advanced maturity. I daresay she makes smarter decisions and seems more mature than her older sisters despite a large age difference (she is eleven years younger than my oldest). In short, she has never caused any serious problems before, even though I've been prepared for a rebellious attitude after what her sisters went through in their early teens. This is the first time she has done anything I'm not fully approving of.
What is worrying me is her view of her body, her diet and most of all her exercize. Justine's weight has varied quite a bit since she hit puberty. She went from being a slip of a thing as a small child to being quite pudgy around the time she entered middle school. Her height increased significantly and she was stick thin for a while there, and then she became slightly chubby due to development and such. However, when she entered high school she took up a sport, tennis, and also started spending more time outdoors and engaged with her friends, so she got a fairly athletic, lean but not skinny figure. I thought she was satisfied but she has complained from time to time that her legs look chubby and bulky to her and that she "hates" this part or that part, usually her tummy and arms. To me, her limbs are merely muscular but she sees this as fat.
Justine's diet is way too strict. She started out planning a 500 calorie/day diet, which I told her was ridiculous. I requested she stay in the 1,800 range but she expressed dissatisfaction and said repeatedly that weight loss at that rate would be way too slow for her. She managed to agree on 1,200 - 1,500 calories daily. However, she is supplementing it with what is in my view an unreasonable amount of exercise. There is no tennis at school right now, but she has a regular gym class. In addition, my oldest daughter, who Justine babysits for often, reports that Justine uses her fitness equipment almost constantly the two nights or so that she is there each week. There is no problem with this from my daughter's view because her children usually are sleeping or playing quietly when Justine is using the equipment, but Rose looked at the calorie and mile measures for me once after Justine had been there and reported that she is burning about 300 - 500 calories each evening that she is there. Justine also goes for a run or walk most evenings once she gets home, occasionally uses my treadmill and recently bought a "core development" ball with her own money to sit on because it supposedly tones and burns calories and replaces a normal chair.
Something that has added to this problem is, my husband, without my consent, made a deal with her and two of her sisters, to lose between fifteen and twenty pounds by spring vacation. We planned to surprise them with a beach vacation, but he told them the reward for losing the weight would be some new clothes. Justine is about 5'1" - 5'2" now, and I believe her weight is in the 120-125 range. That is in the normal range for her height. Also, since she is athletic I believe most of that weight is muscle, not excess fat. I would be pleased to see her lose 5-10 pounds heathily, but not 20. In my opinion, she would be way too slim at 100-105.
I know she is eager to lose weight and look her best, but she is a beautiful girl and I'm afraid she is going to ruin her health. I believe she is burning away nearly a third of the calories she is eating and she's not eating very much to start with. Just given her preoccupation with exercize, I'm worried. She had a root canal yesterday and was told to take it easy, so no school or exercize yesterday, and she was just climbing the walls. She was literally in her gym shoes and sweat pants pacing and fretting she would gain her weight back. I'm nervous. Is this an eating disorder on the way or just normal teen dieting? Please provide advice.
