Sex ED in Schools...

Xero

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It's nice if they show you everything they wanna say and do, that always helps, and asking permission.
 

Aunt

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fallon said:
actually this is how it's done at my daughter's school only they start in 1st grade. I was upset at first because I didn't want them discussing such things with my daughter but they held a meeting and showed us all the materials and told us exactly what was going to said. I felt a little better about it after that. I think it's OK to reenforce how important it is to tell someone they trust if there's any "bad touching" going on. We did get to choose whether or not we wanted our children to attend
What was it that initially made you feel a little uncomfortable? Did you feel that your child might not have the maturity to handle the situation?
 

AmyBelle

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When i was in school we started the puberty talks in grade 5, again in grade 6, then when we went off to high school every single year from yeasr 7-10 we had a sex ed unit in health. That covered pregnancy, childbirth, sti's, age of consent, sexual harrasment/assault/rape, contraception and emotional development in regards to sex.
Then in years 11 and 12 we had to sit through a day long seminar, in year 11 it was on sexual harrasment/assault/rape, how to report it, what to do if you suspect a friend of being assaulted/raped, how to deal with sexual harrasment in the workplace, etc. And in year 12 it was about services available if we find ourselves pregnant in univeristy/college, maternity leave rights, how to find a good gynocologist, etc etc.

I thought that was fantastic, for that reason when Bek hits high school applying age im going to look into my old high school and see if they still run sex ed like that.
 

bssage

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IMO This is a alot about nothing.

The thing is (Xero I am going to use you as an example. Hope you dont mind) You strike me as a "Communicator". I find it hard to believe once Eli is able to carry on a conversation that there are very many topics that you wont cover. IMO most of the children of posters on this forum will have heard and be prepared for anything they can throw at them. Likely Eli (put your kids name here) will be bored because "he has heard it all before" . A bigger problem would be our kids bringing up things the instructor is either not prepared or willing to discuss and maybe get in trouble for disturbing class. The truth be told TV will bring up more uncomfortable questions than a PS sex ed class will.

Before everyone jumps on me I have already stated that I agree with notification and an outline. But really Xero you already have these talks thought out three or four years in advance.
 

mom2many

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bssage said:
while I think the tea party sounds OK for the girls. I have a bad feeling that myself and a couple of other unamed males here might be wispering <I>Boobie's! </I>to each other.

Seriously I use humor when presented with a uncomfortable situation (in case you have'nt noticed). And I would hate to get in trouble in DS's class

But that's the thing....that is how they set up the boys, my sons had a ball, and BOOBIE"S was brought up all the time. Not to mention much more. It is set in a way that each gender would be educated, and yet it is geared towards what a boy would enjoy and what a girl would enjoy. It's the classroom you wished you had all year LOL.
 

gregjohn1229

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JessicaMadison said:
I guess it's kind of a good thing. It was Grade 6 for me too. I just don't find that the boys take it seriously at all. I mean the girls aren't MUCH better. But I find them to be very immature about it all. I mean, which I can understand, they're nervous/excited, it's a new thing for them. Plus they mature a lot slower than girls.

My teenagers got taught in sixth grade and high school as well. This international sex lady came to their high-school and talked about STD's and that stuff. She gave everyone free condoms though. I thought that was a little weird.
Condoms are expensive its better to be safe than sorry
 

Xero

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No worries bssage, I agree with and appreciate your analogy. :) You said what I was thinking but couldn't form into a sentence haha.
 

meow_173

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Sex ed was apart of our gym class. And yes, i would definatly want it taught to my kids. IF the parents wont, then at least the schools will take responsibility teaching kids about sex ed and how to portect themselves if they decide to engage in sex.
 

meow_173

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Xero said:
It's nice if they show you everything they wanna say and do, that always helps, and asking permission.
See, i don't understand why the schools would need to ask your permission to teach it. If it is in the cirriclum (which every parent is given) then you already know that it is going to be discussed. And personally, having the schools to get permission to me just opens up a million other doors for parents to NOT have their kids taught about sex (for whatever reasons they have) and in the long run it would be like that simpsons episode about the bunny and puberty, and mrs. crabaople letting the two kids go sit in the hall and wait so their souls don't burn in hell.
 

jayman

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meow_173 said:
See, i don't understand why the schools would need to ask your permission to teach it. If it is in the cirriclum (which every parent is given) then you already know that it is going to be discussed. And personally, having the schools to get permission to me just opens up a million other doors for parents to NOT have their kids taught about sex (for whatever reasons they have) and in the long run it would be like that simpsons episode about the bunny and puberty, and mrs. crabaople letting the two kids go sit in the hall and wait so their souls don't burn in hell.
Well, they don't really need permission - not to say that's a bad idea, I like the idea - just saying, technically, parents have no say about what is part of the curriculum in a public school - I don't know much about private schools, but I'm guessing if you're a top donor you can weigh in bit.

However, it is definitely in the best interest of everyone - school, teacher, child, parent, society- to give the parents a heads-up. If you knew two months prior that sex ed was coming up, wouldn't you try to prepare your child? And if not, wouldn't you prepare yourself for the dinner conversation the day of that class?

Also, this kind of notice gives those parents who don't want their kids participating an option to keep their kids home that day. Which in a way is asking for permission. Haven't we all seen the shows about the transgenders kids? I'm not saying such kids should not participate, I'm saying that I'm not going to suggest I can understand the emotional ramification involved - often, parents do know better than schools. If you don't believe me - just consider bullying. I know I used an extreme example, but it still holds true - schools aren't perfect - they don't always know whats best for our kids.

I don't think it's a leap at all to believe that kids in the same grade level handle curriculum differently. Granted Sex ed isn't all that. But still, just like certain sixth graders will be better at math than reading, better at art than social studies, some kids are ready to learn about sex and some just aren't; late bloomers, if you will.
 

Xero

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I think I should be asked permission before borderline strangers teach my child how a penis goes into a vagina. Call it caring too much, if you will. Sex ed is not a part of the curriculum, and certainly not a neccessary part of it. It is nice to have, but if they did it without telling me or without giving me an option to do it or not, I'd be pissed. It is always my business what he's learning and what is going on in his school.

Parents have every right to do what they think is right, and decide what is or is not appropriate for their kids. Since when does the school system make decisions for our children? They don't, otherwise our kids would be going on field trips to the zoo and we wouldn't even know they went until they got home wearing the t-shirt. Sex is a private thing, and I know my kids waaayy better than anybody at any school. Matter of fact, my mom let all of us but our one brother go to the sex ed class at his school, because as a lot of you might remember he has a lot of problems, is terribly immature, and it would be a terrible decision to let him participate for millions of reasons. My sister did not take the evolution section of biology. I don't agree with her on it and I think it's stupid, but my sister didn't take the evolution section due to her and my mom's religious beliefs. My point here is that she didn't find it appropriate and she didn't want my sister taking it and my sister didn't want to take it either, so she didn't. The school has no say in it, because it's a contradictory subject and it's the kind of thing a parent would have a very big say in.

I think she should have taken the class and I don't think parents should take kids out of evolution, but that's not the point. The point is that what parents say, goes. We want to know what our kids are doing. When it's something uncertain or uncomfortable, we need to be asked permission especially on something personal like sex. Some people seem not to care when other people, borderline strangers, do anything they want with their kids without notifying you or asking. I care a little bit more than that. Matter of fact, I think the opposite view on this appears to me as a little careless.
 

AmyBelle

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See, personally I dislike this tailored idea of schooling. "Well, I dont want my chidl to learn that, so I want the teacher to send them somewhere else" im of the belief that its all or nothing, if you dont like it, then change school, or home-school.
 

Xero

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I don't know why you wouldn't want to have a hand in choosing what your children will be exposed to day to day. If you don't want to be involved in your kids' every day life, then don't. I guess I'm a different kind of parent, but I think that right should be there for those who care, and those who don't care what their kids are getting exposed to don't have to bother.
 

16th ave.

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the very basics are ok, but the details should be left up to me....( heck, i been wracking my brain since this subject came up and for the life of me can't remember when it was taught...)

for the most part, sex ed. is actually the responsibility of the parents. we are all lucky its even getting taught in schools. kinda figure the only real reasons it's being taught now is because of the high teenage pregnancy rates and std's..........
 

Aunt

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Xero said:
I don't know why you wouldn't want to have a hand in choosing what your children will be exposed to day to day.
For those of us who take such a position it is not a matter of not being involved in a kids everyday life. In fact with respect that is a rather offensive position to take because it frankly makes parents with this view sound neglectful. Dont assume that anyone who does not share your view of parenting is this way. The fact is that for many people particularly some living outside of the US sexuality and human biology is as much a regular fact of life as any other subject.
This view also implies that education ends at the end of the school day. Most involved parents know what their kids homework is &amp; discuss it with their kids, so of course they discuss their view particularly on sexual morality with their kids. The reason why i take the same view as Amy belle is because information about sexuality whether it is about periods and wet dreams or stds and pregnancy is some thing that every kid needs. Just as being able to read is. Just as literacy reduces things like unemployment which are wider social issues, so does sex education help to reduce the rate of adults with stis or unwanted pregnancies. There is a minority of parents out there who beleive in allowing their kids to be sexully ignorant. Personally I am not convinced that their parental rights trump their kids right to information. This does not mean I am going to go around suggesting that yhose who disagree with me dont care about their kids
 

fallon

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Aunt said:
What was it that initially made you feel a little uncomfortable? Did you feel that your child might not have the maturity to handle the situation?
my biggest concern is that there are cases where teachers or other school staff touch their students, My tought was I didn't want then school teaching her something like at 5 yrs old and than her being thinking she was always safe around school staff or not reporting it if something bad did happen. After reviewing the material and seeing it would be the teacher or a normal member of staff teching this I was OK with it
 

Aunt

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Yeah I can see how that would be a concern but then I guess for me that would be regardless of a sex ed class
 

Xero

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You're twisting my words. I'd quote my own posts, but you should really go back and take a look and actually READ THE WHOLE THING. You're arguing with me about something I didn't say. I think sex ed should exist, but it should be optional and I should be notified. I never said I think it shouldn't exist, and yet you're still arguing with me that it should exist for whatever reason. My children will never be ignorant to the facts of sex because I will talk to them about it, and in my opinion it's not something for my kids that is needed in school because it is just a part of life and something any parent who actually cares can tell their kids without the school system's help. I can't teach my kid how to do geometry, I already forgot it and I'm just not that good at math. I can't teach them science or history and all that, that's what school is for. Learning. Sex and the safety measures involved is a part of life, and there for I am qualified to do the job of telling them about it. Some parents don't have the communication skills or the the proper knowlege, or just the energy or the care to talk to their kids about it or they're just not comfortable enough, or feel they can't explain right. That's why sex ed should exist, and it is a good thing (repeating myself here, but it didn't seem to work the first few times I said it). And sometimes they CAN explain it, but think it's cool for them to hear it again and in more detail from someone else at school. I feel like that too. For those parents that feel like they've got the issue under control, or have a child that they don't see fit to participate for whatever reason only they understand, they should be asked permission. Just in general, because you should know what's going on with your own flesh and blood, you should be asked permission.

Neglectful, no, lazy yeah. I mean, if you'd go as far as to ARGUE that you DO NOT WANT to be told what's going on in your kid's life at school, where they spend 6 or 7 hours out of every day five days a week, then I must admit I am confused and it looks lazy to me. What I said was factual, and if you want to look at it like that feel free I almost agree to be honest. Like "No I don't want to be asked for permission for anything, do what you want with my kids I don't need to know it's not my business!" What do you think? When your kids are at school, then they're the school's problem and what the school does is the school's business and we don't need to know? You don't want to be involved? You really don't agree with my statement? Sorry it just sounds odd to me and I don't know why anyone would admit to that. And about the school ending at the end of the school day thing, I don't know about you but I appreciate knowing what my kid is going to be exposed to BEFORE it happens, thank you. I don't know why you feel so bad for the poor school that has to print out all those permission slips. :rolleyes:

And, no offense, but really I don't take my arguments with you seriously Aunt, because I disagree with almost everything you say, and I don't think you actually read my entire posts before responding and therefor your responses are innacurate and lacking and they twist my words or respond to things I didn't say.

Have you ever heard the saying "Do you actually listen, or just wait to talk?" I always think of that when I'm reading your posts that respond to something I say. Sorry this is pretty direct, but I get tired of you responding with a paragraph of stuff that describes what you were thinking but has nothing to do with what I said except that you disagree with it. I'm sure I'm being rude and opinionated and you're a great person in real life and a wonderful parent, but I'd appreciate it if you could not talk about my "view" without knowing what my "view" actually is, which is something you could easily find out by reading my entire posts. I was talking about the right to know and decide, and you were talking about why sex ed should exist. So yeah.
 

Dadu2004

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Aunt &amp; Xero, I think it's about time you two agree to disagree and let it go....we're getting a bit personal and attacking here.

Cool?
 

fallon

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Aunt said:
Yeah I can see how that would be a concern but then I guess for me that would be regardless of a sex ed class
oh it is...my thinking was that she was just to young to hear it from anybody but me