As I've posted before my child has been having these throwing temper tantrums. So today whenever it started I took what she threw away and she cried. I explained why I took it and she just screamed more. Then she took it to picking up random things and throwing. She ran out of her room and pushed down the vacuum and one of her chairs. So I sat her in time out for one minute. She took that alright till it was done!!! Then she threw herself on the floor and cried! I told her that time out was done and that she could go play but she was just still so angry. So I told her whenever she was ready to play to come get me and we would play. I started a load of laundry and whenever I came back she was laying on the floor holding a teddy bear looking pitiful! It hurt my feelings so bad to make her cry. So now I'm trying to stay firm but loving. Does it hurt anyone else's feelings to "discipline" your child?
She can really work me!...
- Thread starter AnKsMommy
- Start date
Yes, but it will hurt them more in the long run if you don't. I know it's hard - hang in there you are doing fine.
I had a similar situation with one of my daughters. The littlest twin had her tooth pulled so I told her I would buy her a prize when we were done. Since the oldest twin got out of school early for her ear hurting (she really doesn't feel well) I told her she could not have a prize since she got out of school. So she gave me the pathetic eyes and cried and let the snot hang out of her nose to her mouth and pouted like I had ripped her heart out.
I explained that when she went to the Dr's she got a prize and her sister and brother did not.
No matter to her though, she still put up the charade and no it was a battle of wills. I could NOT cave but really wanted to. I stuck to my guns even though it hurt my heart. I don't want her to think she gets rewarded for missing school or she'll make a habit of faking being sick.
She is so stubborn
I explained that when she went to the Dr's she got a prize and her sister and brother did not.
No matter to her though, she still put up the charade and no it was a battle of wills. I could NOT cave but really wanted to. I stuck to my guns even though it hurt my heart. I don't want her to think she gets rewarded for missing school or she'll make a habit of faking being sick.
She is so stubborn
It's so hard! I've had friends who can do it and it doesn't phase them because they know it's for the best. I just get my feelings so hurt by it. I had to go and cuddle her a little while afterwards then she went back to playing after we sang a few songs.
I broke as well, but much later. I held my ground.
She asked if she could cuddle and I said yes. I told her "I really don't like that we had to argue like that and get mad at each other" and she said "me too, I'm sorry I acted like that" I said "ok just as long as you understand when I say no I mean it" and she said "I understand" and she cried and held on to me and even though I wanted to cry I didn't (still holding ground) so now we are good and back to loving each other.
She asked if she could cuddle and I said yes. I told her "I really don't like that we had to argue like that and get mad at each other" and she said "me too, I'm sorry I acted like that" I said "ok just as long as you understand when I say no I mean it" and she said "I understand" and she cried and held on to me and even though I wanted to cry I didn't (still holding ground) so now we are good and back to loving each other.
I'm glad that you and your daughter could talk to each other like that. 
I think mine is still to younger to understand the conversation back and forth. She just says sorry and I tell her what she did was wrong. I've got to keep it simple for right now lol.
I think mine is still to younger to understand the conversation back and forth. She just says sorry and I tell her what she did was wrong. I've got to keep it simple for right now lol.
Yea that's all you can do. I'm sure you communicate just fine with her. Mom's seem to have a way. They understand the stern voice, the ignoring, the talking to and the hugs. They'll remember ok whatever led up to this wasn't good. hahahaAnKsMommy said:I'm glad that you and your daughter could talk to each other like that.
I got over the hurt feelings thing really fast. I am one of those natural disciplinarians, but my daughter can't really pull off the pathetic thing, either, lol! She gets so frustrated when she is upset it isn't the most moving scenario. I usually have a harder time trying not to get mad. What works with my daughter (well, sometimes, she is a strongwilled little spawnling and pretty much writes her own rules!), I take her away from whatever she is tempering about, give her a stern "That's enough, hush" and when she calms down I correct her. If she starts freaking out again, which is usually, she gets to sit in her room and chill out for a second. Usually she comes back out to find me after she has calmed down and gives me a great big hug, an apology, and then she runs off to play. But I made sure to nip temper tantrums early. The minute I saw her throwing her first fit, I looked her in the eye, and very deliberatively left the room (Thats another good one. she KNOWS I am ignoring it and I am not happy about it). I have never tolerated fits.
My greatest tools are firmness, consistency, and intention. If they understand all of them, then you are good.
(Until they learn those tools themselves, and then you find yourself with my problems, which I have yet to solve!)
My greatest tools are firmness, consistency, and intention. If they understand all of them, then you are good.
(Until they learn those tools themselves, and then you find yourself with my problems, which I have yet to solve!)
Yes it hurts my feelings also. My oldest is almost 9 and it still kills me to make her mad. I do realize you have to though. Just wait till they go through the stage of saying either "You don't like me" or "I don't like you", that's when it really gets tough. Stay strong and stand your ground or else it will just get worse.
My daughter (just one) says this. My other two NEVER say things like this to me but my stubborn daughter will say "I just feel like you don't love me" or "you don't want me do you"
I swear if I lived closer to Hollywood I would put her in some auditions.
I swear if I lived closer to Hollywood I would put her in some auditions.
I don't mind disciplining my kid at all.
I just see it as a form of love and a way for him to grow stronger and learn. My wife sometimes struggles with it...and naturally our son picks up on that and tries to take more advantage of her.
I don't get how the original poster keeps letting her kid throw things though. What is up with that? I would nip that in the bud after the first time!
I just see it as a form of love and a way for him to grow stronger and learn. My wife sometimes struggles with it...and naturally our son picks up on that and tries to take more advantage of her.
I don't get how the original poster keeps letting her kid throw things though. What is up with that? I would nip that in the bud after the first time!
Been trying! Really trying. She'll listen to me and not throw things. But then with her daddy comes and he slacks a bit in that area. He hates to make her cry. I do too, but I'm the firm one out of us.FooserX said:
I'm glad that you can see it as a form of love. I understand that, but the crying just hurts my feelings.
My eldest is now 4 and he is currently testing me. I use to feel extremely strongly about discipline and I hated it when my husband use to tell off my son but at the moment he really doesn't do what you tell him and it's really frustrating and starting to get to me. However, my view on what I call discipline may be completed different to someone else's. I disagree (personally) with harsh discipline but do strongly believe that the earlier this is done the better.
I think all children need some form of discipline. I am also not for strong discipline. No hitting or abuse in anyway. I feel bad whenever I think I raise my voice too loud. But I try to keep cool and stick with firm talks and time out...or "cool down time" as we try to call it sometimes.mattlyn73 said: