Son about to turn 18 need curfew advice...

[buzziebaby]

Hello all
our son is about to turn 18. He is still in high school and will graduate in December. I am wondering what to do about curfew once he turns 18, at the moment he follows the city curfew and on occasions when with one of is friends over 18 he stays out later as agreed.
So once he finishes high school he will go to community college and then away to college. While he is living at home what is a reasonable curfew ?
I am British and owned my own home at 18 ! so I am not really sure what to do.
I want to encourage him to adopt good study habits while in college but don't want to make him want to leave. He is saying he might want to move out already and asking me if I will pay for an apartment while he is in college. I have said that when he goes away to college after community college, that the first year I would think dorms would be logical or a fraternity house.
Any advice and thoughts welcome
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[fallon]

when I lived at home while going to college I had to be in by 2am if I was coming home. I could stay with a friend overnight of course but I had to call and let my parents know I would be out all night and that call needed to be made by 11pm

 

[Father_0f_7]

when I turned 18 I was already a parent with a live in girlfriend (wife now). But when Megan turned 18 she had to be in at 1am (she was still in high school).

 

[buzziebaby]

Thank you for your replies I appreciate it

 

[Xero]

My mom's was 1am for us. Um, but don't pay for an appartment for him. BAD idea, unless you'd like to do it forever. That will make a kid too comfortable with doing nothing for something that should be pretty difficult to obtain and part of growing up. I don't see anything wrong with paying for school or a dorm though. If it were me I would have him stay in a dorm like every other kid unless he wanted to get a job to pay for the extra it takes to have an appartment. The other thing is that dorms have rules. Appartments don't. So remember that.

Anyway, I would say probably 1am or 2am, sounds reasonable to me.

 

[AmyBelle]

I never had a curfew, regardless of age, that said, I didnt live in the main house, from 15 onwards I lived in a bungalow out the back, so I wasnt waking anyone up.

 

[A.norton]

The typical teenager will be quite rebellious if you keep them on too much of a tight leash. My suggestion is that if you set strict rules, they may not pay any attention at all, so maybe only set a strict curfew on week nights, and let them out for a little longer on weekends providing they call to let you know that they are safe. This doesn't have to go on forever, because I would probably guess you wouldn't particularly want 4am phone calls for months to come, so (and don't let on that you may) maybe lessen the rules after a while. Also, I suggest you get to know their friends, as they normally look after each other, so the more you can trust their friends, the more your mind will be at ease. Hope it all works in your favour.

 

[JessicaMadison]

I also think 1 or 2 am is reasonable.
My son is 18 and his curfew is 2 am.
When he first turned 18, he went a little rebellious. He was saying things like, 'Well I'm 18 and that means legally I'm an adult and legally I can do whatever I want or stay out as late as I want!'

Your Son might go through saying something like that.
When Hunter said that to me I just said, 'As long as you are living under my roof, you will be obeying the rules your father and I have set for you. '

He straightened out real fast then and now he is home 2 am on the dot. He has his own car so there is no reason for him being late!

Good luck!

 

[Xero]

You've said some really nice stuff, I just thought I would let you know that you're bumping a lot of old topics. This one is three months old. The person who wrote it is probably never going to read that, and if you go over the rules of the forum you should not bump old posts. Just so you know and everything.

 

[Music-dad]

At 18, I had been on the road with a rock band for 3 years full-time....so no curfew....when I was home for days off, my parents were just happy I made it home safe.

My thoughts are, if you make a curfew, then you have to monitor and enforce it....no curfew, you'll get a better night's sleep.

For an 18 year old you may as well spare yourself the disappointment, and let them come home when they want.

 

[meow_173]

At 18, i didn't really have a curfew. So long as i called to let them know where i was, if plans changed etc etc.
I was only 18 in highschool for 5 months, then 18 in university living away from home.