Step Parenting Advise...

Cynthia_1101

Junior Member
Jul 9, 2014
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Good afternoon everyone. I am in need of some good advise since I am stuck and don't know what to do or think anymore. I have been happily married for almost 5 years now. I have a 12 year old son who my husband is taking on the responsibility of raising. My ex husband is active in my sons life but lives in a different state. My husband has taken on so much and I love him dearly for loving my son as his own. My question here is that he makes these rules that sometimes seem unrealistic and unfair for my son. Recently we took a road trip and my son's biological dad wanted my son to call him once he arrived safe and sound. Step dad said no calling your dad while on vacation. When we got to our destination I took it upon myself to allow my son to call his dad. Explaining to my son that his step dads rule still applied but that I thought his dad needed to know he had arrived ok at the destination just like he calls me when he goes and visits him. Well, to make story short, step dad found out before I could let him know and now wants to punish my son by taking his phone away that his dad provides for them to talk. Is this right? I told him I had allowed him to call his dad therefore I did not feel the punishment was deserved since I his mother had given him permission. Sometimes I also feel he wants full control of my son. He has his dad and he has me. When we married I wanted my son to have a father figure an extension of a father and a good role model. I was not looking for another father for my son since he has one already. Please any advise is welcome. I am so confused and hurt as to how all this has turned out..
 

Palomita

Banned
Jan 1, 2014
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Sofia, Bulgaria
Once you've authorized the call then everything is fine. You have to respect the opinion of the mother, that is yours. Sometimes The interactions between father and son are very specific and require patience. With time things will get better. Intervened in the dispute and stop them.

Sorry for bad english!
 

jimrich

PF Regular
Sep 13, 2014
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Cynthia_1101 said:
Step dad said no calling your dad while on vacation. When we got to our destination I took it upon myself to allow my son to call his dad. Explaining to my son that his step dads rule still applied but that I thought his dad needed to know he had arrived ok at the destination just like he calls me when he goes and visits him. Well, to make story short, step dad found out before I could let him know and now wants to punish my son by taking his phone away that his dad provides for them to talk. Is this right?
Of course it's NOT RIGHT! If the step dad needs to punish anyone, it would be you for ignoring his rule.
Please any advise is welcome. I am so confused and hurt as to how all this has turned out..
IMO, you and your current husband need to completely agree (or disagree) on the "rules" and stand by each other. This might mean going to marriage counseling - FOR YOUR KID'S SAKE.
good luck,
jim