Before you read on, please be aware that all of these suggestions might seem "radical," but they are only designed as a plan Z (Z, meaning it's a <I>very last resort</I>. If your kids clean up their act, or they don't rebel in the first place, then you don't have to do these things. However, I guarantee you that SOMEONE in this forum will read this and think to themselves "Hmmm, why didn't I think of that?"
We've all seen it. Either you have a child who is virtually uncontrollable, or you've seen them run around at Wal Mart, or, at the very least, you've seen this viral vid.
<YOUTUBE id="xUVI0KvycwQ" url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUVI0KvycwQ.">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUVI0KvycwQ.</YOUTUBE>
Some parents raise their kids like that mostly because they're afraid that using any kind of punishment that would ACTUALLY WORK is illegal, like spanking them. Well, here's how you can raise your kids to be respectful and obedient without breaking the law.
Step 1: Turn their bedroom into a prison cell.
The first time that they sneak out against your orders (the FIRST time; no warnings, no second chances), board up the windows in their bedroom with plywood and screws. It would take three plywood boards to make it impossible for even a small child to contort their way out of those boards, and therefore, would take six screws (two for each board, one on each side). Leave a few cracks in between the boards so that they can have light coming into their rooms, but it will still be like a prison window.
While your at it, while your kid is out partying, and the police are searching for her, your spouse can adjust the door knob on her bedroom door so that the little twisty lock thing is on the outside, who when the she gets home (whether the police bring her home, or she comes home on her own accord), you can physically put her in her bedroom and lock her inside! Take out all of her belongings, such as her stereo, her computer, books, video games (if your kid is into them) and place them somewhere and not tell them where.
If they start screaming and kicking to try and convince you to let them out just so you don't have to listen to them kick and scream anymore, put your cell phone next to their door and initiate the dog whistle ring tone. The dog whistle ring tone is actually a watered-down version of the original dog whistle, so that teenagers can hear it, but middle aged and old people can't. For those who CAN hear it, it's literally so unpleasant a sound that it brings them to their knees. So, just make them listen to that dog whistle ring tone for a little while, say 30 minutes, and they'll realize that kicking and screaming will get them nowhere.
Also, if they still have their cell phone on their physical person, simply call up the cell phone provider and have them disconnect the plan so that they can't call for help. Remember, you want to keep the police away if you can so that you can avoid any drama, because while what you're doing is not illegal (immoral? One might argue that. Illegal? No.), you still don't want to put up with any police coming to your house every week.
Step 2: Don't be afraid to assert yourself.
I'm not talking about hitting them, or giving them a hundred lashes on their bare backside for forgetting their lunch box at school. I'm talking about making it clear as crystal to them that your their superior, and they're your inferior. If they stand up to you, don't let them. You can yell at them all you want, but they can't yell at you back. If they hit you, shove you, slap you, or in any way, shape, or form, touch you in a hostile manner, then hit them back (at that point, it's legal because it's self defense; if someone physically provokes you, it's okay to fight back).
Remember, disobeying a parent's or legal guardian's direct orders is a class A misdemeanor in and of itself, so unless you're orders are illegal, then NOT obeying them is illegal, and can land them in juvenile detention, the child equivalent to jail.
Remember, parents CHOOSE to give their kids a lot more than they have to. Three crude meals a day (no spices or sugar to improve flavor), clothes (literal coarse robes to cover their genitalia, and NOTHING more), and shelter (that bedroom-turned-prison cell). Remember in the beginning of Harry Potter 2, when the Dursleys locked Harry in his bedroom and slipped him canned food through a cat flap three times a day? Well, that's all that the parents are legally REQUIRED to give their kids, so if they start rebelling against you, you can subject them to that lifestyle for about a week, and see if they don't straighten up their act.
Step 3: Intrude upon their out-of-house lives.
Remember, there are very few rights that kids have that their parents don't give them, and the right to simply live their lives is not one of them. If their grades start to decline, find someone (either a stay-at-home mom, and aunt or uncle, or maybe someone that you can pay to do it) to go to school with them and treat them like a soldier at boot camp.
"OPEN YOUR TEXTBOOK TO THE PAGE YOUR TEACHER SAID! NOW!"
"Mrs. Smith, the bell just rang. Is it okay for Emily to leave for her next class?... GET UP AND GO TO YOUR NEXT CLASS NOW!"
"EAT YOUR LUNCH RIGHT NOW! WHOOF IT DOWN! YOU'VE GOT HOMEWORK TO DO! EAT IT! EAT IT!"
There are some sick, twisted minds out there that would actually get a kick out of doing that, and GETTING PAID FOR IT!
Also, ask your local police where they get those prisoner tagging anklets that tell the police the anklet's exact location within a few square feet anywhere in the world. Take that, tag your rebellious kid with it, and you'll know where they are, and what they're probably doing (based on their location), every minute of every day. You might even want to put it around their neck, so that it's clearly visible and will humiliate them a LOT!
All in all, once they agree to clean up their act, make it crystal clear to them that, although you're relinquishing these punishments, it would take only a few minutes to reinstate these punishments again, so if they want to keep these punishments away, they'll not only have to clean up their act, but KEEP it clean.
Questions? Comments? Thoughts?
We've all seen it. Either you have a child who is virtually uncontrollable, or you've seen them run around at Wal Mart, or, at the very least, you've seen this viral vid.
<YOUTUBE id="xUVI0KvycwQ" url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUVI0KvycwQ.">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUVI0KvycwQ.</YOUTUBE>
Some parents raise their kids like that mostly because they're afraid that using any kind of punishment that would ACTUALLY WORK is illegal, like spanking them. Well, here's how you can raise your kids to be respectful and obedient without breaking the law.
Step 1: Turn their bedroom into a prison cell.
The first time that they sneak out against your orders (the FIRST time; no warnings, no second chances), board up the windows in their bedroom with plywood and screws. It would take three plywood boards to make it impossible for even a small child to contort their way out of those boards, and therefore, would take six screws (two for each board, one on each side). Leave a few cracks in between the boards so that they can have light coming into their rooms, but it will still be like a prison window.
While your at it, while your kid is out partying, and the police are searching for her, your spouse can adjust the door knob on her bedroom door so that the little twisty lock thing is on the outside, who when the she gets home (whether the police bring her home, or she comes home on her own accord), you can physically put her in her bedroom and lock her inside! Take out all of her belongings, such as her stereo, her computer, books, video games (if your kid is into them) and place them somewhere and not tell them where.
If they start screaming and kicking to try and convince you to let them out just so you don't have to listen to them kick and scream anymore, put your cell phone next to their door and initiate the dog whistle ring tone. The dog whistle ring tone is actually a watered-down version of the original dog whistle, so that teenagers can hear it, but middle aged and old people can't. For those who CAN hear it, it's literally so unpleasant a sound that it brings them to their knees. So, just make them listen to that dog whistle ring tone for a little while, say 30 minutes, and they'll realize that kicking and screaming will get them nowhere.
Also, if they still have their cell phone on their physical person, simply call up the cell phone provider and have them disconnect the plan so that they can't call for help. Remember, you want to keep the police away if you can so that you can avoid any drama, because while what you're doing is not illegal (immoral? One might argue that. Illegal? No.), you still don't want to put up with any police coming to your house every week.
Step 2: Don't be afraid to assert yourself.
I'm not talking about hitting them, or giving them a hundred lashes on their bare backside for forgetting their lunch box at school. I'm talking about making it clear as crystal to them that your their superior, and they're your inferior. If they stand up to you, don't let them. You can yell at them all you want, but they can't yell at you back. If they hit you, shove you, slap you, or in any way, shape, or form, touch you in a hostile manner, then hit them back (at that point, it's legal because it's self defense; if someone physically provokes you, it's okay to fight back).
Remember, disobeying a parent's or legal guardian's direct orders is a class A misdemeanor in and of itself, so unless you're orders are illegal, then NOT obeying them is illegal, and can land them in juvenile detention, the child equivalent to jail.
Remember, parents CHOOSE to give their kids a lot more than they have to. Three crude meals a day (no spices or sugar to improve flavor), clothes (literal coarse robes to cover their genitalia, and NOTHING more), and shelter (that bedroom-turned-prison cell). Remember in the beginning of Harry Potter 2, when the Dursleys locked Harry in his bedroom and slipped him canned food through a cat flap three times a day? Well, that's all that the parents are legally REQUIRED to give their kids, so if they start rebelling against you, you can subject them to that lifestyle for about a week, and see if they don't straighten up their act.
Step 3: Intrude upon their out-of-house lives.
Remember, there are very few rights that kids have that their parents don't give them, and the right to simply live their lives is not one of them. If their grades start to decline, find someone (either a stay-at-home mom, and aunt or uncle, or maybe someone that you can pay to do it) to go to school with them and treat them like a soldier at boot camp.
"OPEN YOUR TEXTBOOK TO THE PAGE YOUR TEACHER SAID! NOW!"
"Mrs. Smith, the bell just rang. Is it okay for Emily to leave for her next class?... GET UP AND GO TO YOUR NEXT CLASS NOW!"
"EAT YOUR LUNCH RIGHT NOW! WHOOF IT DOWN! YOU'VE GOT HOMEWORK TO DO! EAT IT! EAT IT!"
There are some sick, twisted minds out there that would actually get a kick out of doing that, and GETTING PAID FOR IT!
Also, ask your local police where they get those prisoner tagging anklets that tell the police the anklet's exact location within a few square feet anywhere in the world. Take that, tag your rebellious kid with it, and you'll know where they are, and what they're probably doing (based on their location), every minute of every day. You might even want to put it around their neck, so that it's clearly visible and will humiliate them a LOT!
All in all, once they agree to clean up their act, make it crystal clear to them that, although you're relinquishing these punishments, it would take only a few minutes to reinstate these punishments again, so if they want to keep these punishments away, they'll not only have to clean up their act, but KEEP it clean.
Questions? Comments? Thoughts?
