The 3r baby...

[Jeena Farser]

Hi. My new boyfriend and I are thinking of having a baby but I can't stop thinking 'come one, look at that mess over there, how can you put a baby in a world like that it's selfish man'

so I guess I'm trying to ask you guyz do you think it's ok to have a baby in 2012 ? My boyfriend and I both have a job so the baby should have a security (a roof over his head and food on the table)

thnaks

 

[cybele]

I think a forum full of parents probably would say yes, haha.

Its an age-old question. I remember my parents saying that in the 70's when I was a kid, "What kind of future does she possibly have with the way the world is going?" but then if you ask my grandmother, she used to worry the same things about my mother's future.

And of course, its something we worry about. Both DH and I work 'luxury jobs' if s*it hits the fan, you dont need pretty flower arrangements, so im out of a job, if councils want to limit funding, libraries are the first to be cut down, so DH is out of a job. But, there is also the possibility that wont happen, in our lifetime or the next. Who knows? All you can do is keep on keeping on.

 

[Jeena Farser]

Thanks you Cybele. You are a nice person.
I understand what you mean the 'end of the world' was feeding every generation fears, but we are still around. You know what though ? In the 70's teenagers had no internet, and there wasn't that much of insane ideas thrown around. I'm worried about the fact kids when they become teens are escaping reality by reaching out for a e-life and no longer pour their heart out to their parents. Teenagers now have youngsters communities online ! Look here (link removed by moderator, please do not replace it again). How can you sort of your time between your job and your kid ?

 

[Xero]

Every time period has had it's flaws, some have been worse than now even. No reason to keep yourself from extending your family if you feel you're ready and you want to. We are stopping at two though. Three is too many for us.

 

[Jeena Farser]

Every time period has had it's flaws, some have been worse than now even. No reason to keep yourself from extending your family if you feel you're ready and you want to. We are stopping at two though. Three is too many for us.

thanks a lot

 

[cybele]

Thanks you Cybele. You are a nice person.
I understand what you mean the 'end of the world' was feeding every generation fears, but we are still around. You know what though ? In the 70's teenagers had no internet, and there wasn't that much of insane ideas thrown around. I'm worried about the fact kids when they become teens are escaping reality by reaching out for a e-life and no longer pour their heart out to their parents. Teenagers now have communities online ! Look here (link removed by moderator, please do not replace it again). How can you sort of your time between your job and your kid ?

If its any help, we certainly werent pouring our hearts out to our parents in the 70's either. Diaries, friends and bottling it up were the preferable methods of choice for pouring out ones heart back then. And there were insane ideas, just different ones, things like a man has a right to hit his wife or, women have a set list of occupations they can work in (nurse, teacher, seamstress, hairdresser) and man, did we have some crazy cults in the 70's.

I sort my time between my children and work as best I can. Its easier when theyre older and in school, because theyre gone when you are gone, but earlier on, all you can do is spend your home time together.

 

[IADad]

I agree, each generation has it's struggle to face, it's new innovations to master. If the Gutenberg press was in use about 1440, you can imagine by 1441, there was somebody printing somethng ilicit, sedicious or otherwise capable of bringing down society as they knew it. I can just see the villagers shaking down their kids for books....(gasp).

So, I think every parent here has had the same fear and I hope we all think it was worth it to take that risk. Maybe your kid will be the one to SOLVE the next big problem rather than be a victim of it...it's just as likely.

I'm going to ask you one pointed question though. Don't feel like you have to answer it here or at all. it's meant to help you think not to judge you or put you on the spot in a public forum, okay?

It concerns me to see you say "me and my NEW boyfriend..." and then you tick off the vital checklist of what a baby needs, and you check off the very basic human safety needs...what about the stability of a loving commited family to raise him or her?

Again, I'm not judging you or trying to make you justify your relationship, just pointing out that I hope you've discussed your committment to each other and the future.

And this is in no way a jab to any single parents, I understand things happen and people do the absolute best with what they have. I just believe that children have an easier time of it, on average, in homes with 2 committed stable parents, so I'd wish that for your child too.

Hope I haven't offended anyone, it's not my intent.

 

[NancyM]

Hi Jenna

I just read IADads response and agree with him.

I don't know. Having a baby will certainly change many things for you both, and since your open and talking about it, it wouldn't hurt to read a little about babies and/or get some input from friends who already have kids before you decide.

I noticed you referred to your boyfriend as your 'new' boyfriend.
IMO it would depend on how long you've been together and if you think you'll be together for the long hall only because it's a lot easier having two people raise a baby than being a single parent.

 

[NancyM]

If its any help, we certainly werent pouring our hearts out to our parents in the 70's either. Diaries, friends and bottling it up were the preferable methods of choice for pouring out ones heart back then. And there were insane ideas, just different ones, things like a man has a right to hit his wife or, women have a set list of occupations they can work in (nurse, teacher, seamstress, hairdresser) and man, did we have some crazy cults in the 70's.

Ahhhhhhh the good ol days!! lol:verycool:

 

[Mom2all]

I agree with Nancy on the "New Boyfriend". He might need to be your "Old something" before you think to hard on it. And more importantly, is a new baby something you want and feel like you can handle. I love my big family but its not for everyone.

 

[BabyAngel]

We have to trust our kids to handle the challenges that will come for this generation.