Too old to conceive.......

Happiness

Junior Member
Mar 18, 2017
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<t>Hi, there! I am here cause I want to get some hints what to do further. I’m 45 and I have a two lovely sons who are 20 and 23 years old. I love my children very much, but I dream to become a mum one more time. I’ve met a nice guy who’s 39 and I’m totally happy with him. He is childless and he says that he wants me to become a mum of his son or daughter. I still have periods and I think I can even conceive with my own eggs, but I’m a little bit afraid of doing this… I know that the older the woman is the worse eggs she has. I visited a gyny several weeks ago. She checked my uterus and told me that it’s quite possible for me to get pregnant one more time, but she recommends an egg donation. She says that with donor’s eggs I have more chances to conceive a healthy child. I quite agree with her, but still hesitate what to do further. We even visited several fertility clinics. The first fertility clinic is much talked about on various fertility forums. They offer good egg donation packages for very reasonable prices. The clinic is situated overseas, but we decided to meet its representatives. We were met at the airport by the driver and taken to the clinic. The clinic turned to be neat, but not very big. In addition, it was so overcrowded. The waiting room was full of people and we had to wait in the hall nearly an hour and a half before the fertility specialist was ready to meet us. We quite liked the doctor. She paid attention to every single detail while talking to us. I think it was a good sign. I didn’t like the second clinic. It’s also situated overseas. Firstly, it’s halls were too empty. The atmosphere was so quiet that I even got frightened a little bit. I don’t know why, but I didn’t like the RE we consulted there. For me, she was too soothing. Now, it’s time for us to make the decision, but I don’t know what to do further… Any suggestions on my situation?</t>
 

artmom

PF Fanatic
Feb 26, 2015
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First, let's look at where this taboo to have kids past 35 comes from. People have an opinion and some like to press theirs onto others. Some will even invent reasons to justify they are right, even if they are actually wrong. So, don't listen to the gossip mill. It has no merit on your own medical well-being.

Now, 45, to me, doesn't seem that old. There are women who have had kids in their 50s, 60s, in rare cases in their 70s. Your age is not an indication of your fertility.
That being said, menstruation doesn't always mean fertile. There have been women who haven't had their periods in months and ended up pregnant. The actual sign of periods doesn't mean you don't have eggs.

Your OB-gyn may be trying to save you a road of frustration and disappointment.I'm sure your not the only one of your age who's gone to her for fertility advice.
That being said, it's her suggestion to seek egg donations. Have you gone back to her since?
It's not just you, but your spouse, as well, that you need to take into consideration. If his guys are not in the best of shape, the chances of conceiving may not be any greater with an egg donation.
Keep doing your research. Make sure you've crossed all your 't's and dotted your 'i's.
But don't give up, either, on trying the ol' au natural way. It's still possible you can conceive and have a smooth pregnancy and healthy baby.
 

Rapunzel

Junior Member
Mar 28, 2017
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Hi, hun! I think loads of things depend on your health condition. If you’re a healthy woman, you may get pregnant even in your 40s naturally. The only thing is you must be very cautious once you’ve got pregnant. Various scans and tests may help you understand that everything is ok. If you choose ED, you’ll use oocytes of a younger lady and may have less problems with your pregnancy (I mean genetic issues). Artmom has given the right clue. Your hubby’s sperm must be also tested. If his sperm is ok, you won’t have any problems with conceiving a baby naturally or with DE IVF.
 

Happiness

Junior Member
Mar 18, 2017
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Hi, ladies! Thanks for your posts. They’ve become a real support to me. The thing is we are trying to conceive naturally, but we haven’t achieved any positive results yet. We want to try for some time (I bet it will be a year or so), and then move to ED. I do know that some women who are in their 40s mange to conceive and give birth to a healthy child. However, there are some risks too, and I do plan to do some scans if I get pregnant.
 

Rapunzel

Junior Member
Mar 28, 2017
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I consider it to be a good approach. You may still have all chances to conceive naturally. As for choosing the clinic, I would also recommend you to choose the one that has high success rates and deals with young egg donors. I think it’s better to deal with fertility clinics that tests the women who are willing to share their eggs in different ways. I would also recommend you to ask them to check the woman’s heredity. For me, it’s quite important to do this as you must be totally sure that you’re going to donate the eggs totally healthy woman. Just take these things into consideration while choosing the clinic.
 

Happiness

Junior Member
Mar 18, 2017
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The first clinic we’ve got interested in seems to have rather high success rates. We tried to check their statistic data on several web resources. They offer oocytes of 19-26-years-old egg donors. The program manager we met in the clinic told us that the clinic is a selective one. They ask all the women who are willing to donate eggs to pass through a rigorous medical check up. They also pay attention to the woman’s heredity and check her family tree. The clinic deals with the ladies whose parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles are free from any hereditary issues. They also choose the women who are mom’s of at least one healthy child. This is the way they’re going an egg donor for us. What do you think about it?
 

Rapunzel

Junior Member
Mar 28, 2017
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I have a close friend who did a DE IVF. She told me that oocytes of young ladies are considered to be the best for egg donation. She donated an egg from a 24 year old woman who was a mum of a 2-year-old child and conceived after a second attempt. So I think it’s really good that they offer you oocytes of such young ladies. However, will they charge any fees for the opportunity to see the donor’s photo? As far as I know, some clinics may ask their clients some optional services to earn more money? What about the clinic you’ve got interested in?
 

Happiness

Junior Member
Mar 18, 2017
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Hi! I don’t think they would ask us to make any additional payments. According to the contract they offered us to sign, the clinic charges only a fixed sum. This sum will be divided into several installments as we’re going to book several shots. We will be able to make the payment either in cash or via a bank transfer. This is the way the clinic charges fees for its services. What do you think about it?
 

Rapunzel

Junior Member
Mar 28, 2017
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I think it’s really good that they charge only a fixed sum. Infertility treatment isn’t a cheap one, and you need to track your expenditures (especially, if you have a scarce budget). Hun, could you please share the name of the clinic you’re dealing with? I have a close friend. She’s also infertile and is looking for an appropriate clinic to deal with… She contacted one Russian clinic, but she doesn’t like them much… Now, she’s got interested in one Polish clinic.
 

Happiness

Junior Member
Mar 18, 2017
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The name of the clinic we’ve got interested in is Biotexcom. It’s a Ukrainian fertility clinic and it’s situated in Kiev, the capital city of Ukraine. We decided to deal with them as the clinic has rather high success rates. They don’t charge much for their services, and it’s really great as we can’t afford treatment in any expensive clinics right now. You can come to Kiev and get a free consultation there. The clinic will provide you with free accommodation, transportation services and the services of the interpreter. All these things sound quite ok, so we decided to contact them.