Hello. My fiancé's daughter was staying with us last November when the mother (we'll call her Shelly) was out of work and homeless. She called up my fiancé after a month, stating that she moved two hours away (to a town notorious for drugs and prostitution) and she wanted her daughter back to live with her. My fiancé informed her he had already put in a change of residence for his daughter with the courthouse and that if Shelly would have to go to court. Shelly didn't like hearing this very much and was in town the very next day. She took the 9 month old baby without her car seat, blankets, or food. When I called the police to inform them, they told me since my fiancé had no court documents proving sole custody, that there was nothing they could do. Less than a week later, Shelly was on the news arrested on serious drug charges (meth, heroin, and marijuana) and the baby was missing. It took almost a full day for police to find the baby, and she was entered into the DCS system because Shelly refused to give the police my fiancé's contact information. Now that the baby is in the system, we have to jump through all the hoops to get her out, and we have been doing this for almost 4 months. A few weeks back, we received a Case Plan from DCS outlining their, well, "plan." Under the box titled "With whom will the child be reunified?", the mother's name was listed. My fiancé was working 70 hours a week at the time, handing over financial information, letting people inspect and walk through our home whenever they requested, as well as he and I submitting to random drug tests and parenting classes. When my fiancé called the DCS case manager, he left a calm voicemail expressing concern over and inquiring about why they thought it would be a good idea to potentially place this child back with a woman who admitted in court and in the police report that she was working as a prostitute with several other people, making meth and "turning tricks" while the "mistress" of this whole operation watched all the hooker's kids in a neighboring motel room. The return call was extremely combative, and the DCS worker called my fiancé's message a "bratty outburst." This entire process seems like "What's the point?" We have subjected ourselves to tests and strangers combing through our home in hopes that my fiancé would get his daughter back in our safe, loving home without any fear of losing her like this again. We are lucky this baby is even still alive as Shelly left her with a stranger. However, DCS still seems to think reunification with this woman is a good idea. What the f*ck am I missing here? This woman has been in the news, and later on the news defending herself. She said, "I don't regret what I've done, I regret the people I hurt." Apparently, according to her, she does not regret putting her youngest child in such a filthy environment and in harm's way while she's off getting arrested. Sometimes I wish I could just send the whole report we received from the police about their investigation while Shelly was arrested. Saying thinks like "I dunno, go check the strip clubs where we hang out" when detectives asked where they could possibly find the missing baby. I am at my wits end! Is Indiana really this big of a "mom" state? Have people completely lost their minds?
Utter frustration with bio-mom and DCS. Advice?...
- Thread starter Kaylahens0224
- Start date
Wow I am so sorry you have to go through this. There is definitely no answer 'why'. Please hold on so you can help the baby unite with you and stay next to people who care about her. Hugs! Please keep us posted
You may have to fight this in court and you most likely will have to fight the mom and DCS. But no matter how stressed or aggrivated you get keep your cool and be the bigger person. Unfortunately, child services don't always make decisions based on what's best for the child. Where I'm from, often kids do better in the situation they were taken out of, as CFS here has a poor track record with all the deaths of children in their care. Don't let that scare you, now. But fight for the best interest of your child. Present as much evidence that the baby is better off in your care than anyone else, the best you can. Good luck.