Watch your language in front of the kids...

[jack123]

Many parents in a fit of rage, or certain unpleasant situations use all kinds of abusive words at home. Kids pick these up so easily. Parents do ot realise that their children have heard and registered these words and they use it in school and elsewhere. It is very important to not use wrong language, or a bad tone of speaking in front of the children. It is sad but true that children pick up wrong habits faster than the right ones.

 

[mom2many]

My youngest said "Oh shit" when she spilled her drink and then turned around and said "damn it" when she couldn't find a towel to clean it up. She was mimicking me, I feel there are worse things kids can say.

Now don't get me wrong we correct her, but at the end of the day she learning what is appropriate for her age and what isn't.

 

[singledad]

LOL - yup. A while ago, my dd was struggling with something. After struggling for a while, I heard her mutter "Of, for f...'s sake!". Mmmm. That's my line.

I've been trying to mind my language around her, but its not easy to break old habits, and I have a sneaky feeling its too late anyway...

 

[Xero]

We do our best but sometimes bad words do slip out. We would NEVER swear AT him that's different, but yeah sometimes he hears us say swear words. He knows what he is and isn't allowed to say. If he repeats something I just gently tell him "don't say that honey, it's an adult word" and he says okay and that's the end of it. It's not a big deal IMO. They are just words.

 

[IADad]

I agree, we watch our language but things get said...we have to teach them to live in the world, not just sheild them from it (age is a factor too, mine are of an age where you can explain stuff like Xero said)

Worse for me is the tone i use when frustrated. I see my kids using it with each other. Really trying to watch that.

 

[Xero]

Yeah, as soon as my youngest gets to the repeat-but-don't-understand age, we're going to have to be a lot more careful, and try not to say them at all within his hearing range lol.

 

[Maser]

When it comes to foul language in the household, my wife and I are raising our kids the same way myself and my brothers were raised. Cussing was always allowed in our household as long as it wasn't used in a defiant way towards adults. I was also raised to not use it in public settings liberally like I would at home. My wife and I agreed on this for two main reasons.

First is that we are FIRM believers in words themselves aren't the issue, but rather the context in how they are used is what matters. Say for instance if my oldest son has to go to the bathroom and says "hey I have to shit". That to me would have the same meaning if he substituted poop for shit. Now if he insulted another kid by telling him he looks like shit, then that would be the same if he said poop instead of shit. I know it's a little odd of a method to believe in, but it really does work when you don't pay attention to the words as much as you do the context.

Second of all, we don't believe in forcing our kids to live a sheltered life. It's pretty foolish to think that by the time your kid starts school, they have never heard a cuss word in their lives. By educating kids early on what cuss words mean and why they're used, there won't be any confusion later on in life.

Now as for using cuss words accidentally around your kids, I guess it all matters if it's a word your kid has never heard before. In my case I have accidentally used the C word around them, but luckily they didn't seem to acknowledge that as a cuss word because they have never repeated it. Words like that would be difficult to explain because they are a less common cuss word than hell or shit or damn.

 

[IADad]

When it comes to foul language in the household, my wife and I are raising our kids the same way myself and my brothers were raised. Cussing was always allowed in our household as long as it wasn't used in a defiant way towards adults. I was also raised to not use it in public settings liberally like I would at home. My wife and I agreed on this for two main reasons.

First is that we are FIRM believers in words themselves aren't the issue, but rather the context in how they are used is what matters. Say for instance if my oldest son has to go to the bathroom and says "hey I have to shit". That to me would have the same meaning if he substituted poop for shit. Now if he insulted another kid by telling him he looks like shit, then that would be the same if he said poop instead of shit. I know it's a little odd of a method to believe in, but it really does work when you don't pay attention to the words as much as you do the context.

Second of all, we don't believe in forcing our kids to live a sheltered life. It's pretty foolish to think that by the time your kid starts school, they have never heard a cuss word in their lives. By educating kids early on what cuss words mean and why they're used, there won't be any confusion later on in life.

Now as for using cuss words accidentally around your kids, I guess it all matters if it's a word your kid has never heard before. In my case I have accidentally used the C word around them, but luckily they didn't seem to acknowledge that as a cuss word because they have never repeated it. Words like that would be difficult to explain because they are a less common cuss word than hell or shit or damn.

I get what you mean, I have the same issue with using replacement words (Like using "Freakin') on TV. Okay, you're using a word that's not a banned word in order to evoke the thought of the bad word...really? there was no other way to convey that thought?

 

[katencam]

Cam is not too bad with the curse words, however one night when he was supposed to be sleeping I walked past his room and heard him whispering bad words to himself and laughing hysterically after each one, at one point nearly falling out of bed...such as he whispered "dammit"...then HAHAHAHAHAHA and when he could breathe again he whispered "dammit"

However, one problem we do have is what his awesome dad says in front of him, which is ironic that I read this post tonight because just about 3 hours ago lil guy looked at me and said "I hate this house and I do not want to live here anymore". I said "Oh is that so? What would make oyu feel like that?" He said "My dad said he hates this house and he doesn't want me to ever come here again"....wow thanks guy

 

[IADad]

hmmmm, I'd suspect that if dad is careless with a comment like that, there may be other things he's equally careless about and may not even realize....

When my 5 yo was little (like 2, 2 1/2 something) He sat playing with a tractor and farmer and at one point said "Damn it, just damn it." I asked him what he had said and he looked at the farmer, help up the tractor and said "He say it." as if saying something in quotes somehow made it less bad,which I happened to agree with.

 

[Incogneato]

hmmmm, I'd suspect that if dad is careless with a comment like that, there may be other things he's equally careless about and may not even realize....

When my 5 yo was little (like 2, 2 1/2 something) He sat playing with a tractor and farmer and at one point said "Damn it, just damn it." I asked him what he had said and he looked at the farmer, help up the tractor and said "He say it." as if saying something in quotes somehow made it less bad,which I happened to agree with.

LOL too funny. The wife and I are trying really hard to curb our bad words as much as possible, but I fully expect he'll begin using them at some point. As it has already been said, I won't have a huge problem with it as long as he understands where/when/how it is acceptable to use them. If he can use bad words around us but still be completely respectful and polite to others and not use those words to hurt other people, then I'm good with it.

 

[akmom]

I don't think I've ever used a cuss word myself, and my husband doesn't use them at home because it annoys me. I'm not trying to shield my kids from ever hearing them or even using them, but I do want them to develop polite speech habits and learn to express their frustrations articulately. I don't want them to always fall back on nasty words to convey disappointment, because I don't believe people take it as seriously. If they want to deliberately use a bad word when they're older, that's fine, but I really tire of hearing people who are "potty mouths" by habit. It gets old.

My husband and I perfected the art of arguing in sing-song voices and name-calling with terms like "sillyhead." We know perfectly well what it really means.

 

[Incogneato]

I believe it is possible to express yourself and be articulate, while including bad words in your vocabulary. It seems odd to me that you'd use a substitute word such as "silly" while still knowing and thinking the word and what it really means. It seems like a way to get around saying what is classified as a dirty word, but with the same meaning.

EDIT:

Comical example of expressing yourself and being articulate while using bad words would be the 3 brothers from the movie, Me, Myself, and Irene .

 

[Xero]

I personally don't make a big deal out of swearing, but I also wouldn't just let them swear freely and let them sound like a couple of trashy little potty mouths with nothing intelligent to say. Like I said, a few accidental but perhaps well placed swear words throughout their lives are fine and whatever. But cussing daily as they please just because they can? Um no. That's just ugly and unneccesary. I'm trying to raise decent human beings with pleasant communication skills here. I would feel like a total failure if my kid came up to me and told me he had to shit. Yuck.

Not trying to offend anybody, and Im sorry if I do, I realize we are just different kinds of people, just my personal opinion.

 

[singledad]

If they want to deliberately use a bad word when they're older, that's fine, but I really tire of hearing people who are "potty mouths" by habit. It gets old.

You're right, actually - its just a stupid habit, born out of laziness.

I consider myself reprimanded. I promise I'll make an effort to do better...

 

[akmom]

I didn't think any of these posts constituted excessive cussing. I was thinking about some people (and many movies) where f*** is a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, pronoun or filler word, and can describe absolutely anything. I've heard conversations where it sounded like a contest: try to convey your message with as few non-cuss words as possible! It's its own language.

(I haven't seen Me, Myself and Irene.)

 

[cybele]

Oh I have such a foul mouth. My kids picked up most swear words they know from me before anywhere else, but they know not to say them in public...