When to have a second...

[cadewendy]

So we got our beautiful healthy baby girl, she is three months now.

My wife was thinking about becoming a surrogate mother, which means it will be another year until we can try to have another baby. So probably a minimum of 2 years in between our kids.

Any thoughts on the pros and cons of each? We WILL be surrogates regardless, whether its next year or this year so that shouldn't be a factor
:jimlad:

 

[IADad]

3 babies in three years is pretty hard on most women's bodies. I think there's a variety of medical opinion out there. Personally, I really like the 4.5 years between our kids. It gave the older one long enough to be out of diapers, ready for school and emmotionally really ready to be a big brother. I know others will say get them all through diapers as close as possible, have close age playmates etc...so that's a matter of personal opinion/preference. I just think a kid a year is a lot to ask of your wife's body.

 

[Generic Dad]

I would suggest having your own children first and then going the surrogate route in the event that pregancy issues develop with future pregnancies. However I do admire your wife for being willing to attempt that...she must enjoy being preggo much, much more than my wife did...hehe

 

[Antoinette]

wow i hated pregnancy i couldn't imagine going through three pregnancies in three years.

but regardless i think have your own child first and then surrogate just incase the pregnancy has complications or something

 

[Xero]

I would also get my own kids over with before becoming a surrogate. Also, I would try to space it out just a little bit more. We're going to try for another one soon here, and that will make our kids four years apart, or very close to four years. I just think that up until about four years old, kids need SO MUCH one on one time, and I didn't want Eli to feel deprived. Mind you, he's still going to be losing some attention when the baby is born, it wont be ALL him anymore, but it will be a lot easier with him being old enough to understand. I can explain it to him, I can let him be involved, and he will be a lot more independent at four years old than at one or two or even three. Also, with him being that age and at that independence level, it will be easier for me to give the new baby the attention that I was able to give Eli. If I had another baby when Eli was still a baby himself, I couldn't imagine having the time or energy to devote the amount of attention to them that I'd like them both to have. I dunno, something like that.

 

[confusedteen1]

well I was really young when I hadmy son and after him, we had too many complications. I didn't want another child nor could I have anymore. But if I could've had another child after him I'd probably wait like til like 6-8 years from now. So like 14 years I guess.

 

[Jeremy+3]

Jake and jade are the best gap we have, 14 months, we both really wish all of our children were close in age, the gaps between Jackson, melia and jake really just don't work as well, for us or the kids. Because of the large gap Jackson and amelia are both like only children.

My cousin was a surrogate for her friend, she has done it twice so far, if you are free of fertility issues you become pregnant the first go in most cases, so it doesn't take very long for the full process. Obviously you will still be out of work for at least eight weeks, so you need to be able to financially able to do it.

 

[NinJaBob]

I voted 2+ years because that was right for us but my real answer is when it makes sense for you. Only you know when that is.