Witnessing a precious brotherly love...

Xero

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Mar 20, 2008
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<r>As the mother of a four-year-old and an infant, I am just now coming to understand the true relationship between an older sibling and a younger sibling. My boys are both very fascinated with each other, and I can tell that they are already developing a brotherly bond. I feel so lucky, as a parent, to be able to stand by and watch this relationship bloom! Of course, given their age differences, they are both on very different ends of the sibling spectrum.<br/>
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For instance, my four-month-old can’t do much more than watch his older brother in awe. Everything he does is always the most interesting thing going on by far. Just by crashing his toy monster trucks together or aiding Spiderman in an epic jump off of the window sill, my older son becomes my younger son’s biggest hero and most fascinating form of entertainment. I get the feeling he appreciates his older brother when he shows up holding a pacifier or a toy when the tears start to flow. Sometimes, just for no reason at all, he will lay next to him on the floor and talk to him. I imagine he also enjoys the attention when my oldest points out how “cute” his tiny hands and feet are. Each time he gains his older brother’s attention, there is undoubtedly a toothless smile on his face.<br/>
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<IMG src="http://i330.photobucket.com/albums/l421/Xeromantic/002-6.jpg"><s>
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My four-year-old now has a much better, living and breathing version of a baby doll. He enjoys trying to take off and put on his clothes, pushing him in the stroller, and buckling his car seat straps. He now has a special little person that belongs to him - everywhere we go, you are sure to hear “This is &lt;I&gt;&lt;s&gt;<I>&lt;/s&gt;my&lt;e&gt;</I>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/I&gt; brother!” He now has another person to talk to, which means he will set up his matchbox cars and roll them all around his bouncy seat, all the while describing how the cop car is chasing the orange car to tell him that he’s going too fast. The baby is a very good listener! Most of all, he also gets to feel important! Whenever his baby brother needs something, he can be a big helper. He very much enjoys helping Mommy with little things such as bringing a diaper or a toy, or pulling a wipe from the wipes container. &lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
One of the main reasons my husband and I decided to have another child was because we wanted our son to have a friend, a companion to grow up and experience the world with. I’m so happy we made this decision, because even though I thought it would take some time for them to become important to each other, I believe that they are already close and are only becoming closer everyday. Don’t get me wrong, I know there is plenty of fighting and sibling rivalry ahead of me. It isn’t all rainbows and butterflies, but I am so happy to see that there are so many benefits to parenting brothers.&lt;/r&gt;
 
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Father_0f_7

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Aug 19, 2008
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It's a beautiful thing, isn't it!

I can tell just by the pictures you post that they are closer than ever. Of course you are right and there will be bumps along the way but it won't matter because...well....they're brothers.
 

Xero

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Thanks Fo7! It really is amazing watching their relationship change the more they grow to understand each other. It's the cutest thing ever, I get all choked up just seeing them together sometimes. Sometimes YDS will just look at ODS and start laughing. It always gets me! :) I can't imagine what it must be like to watch all of your kids growing up as siblings! It must be so rewarding.
 

IADad

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Feb 23, 2009
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That is great. My boys are about the same difference in age, so I relate so much to a lot of what you said. I never had a brother, so I love and marvel at the relationship I see developing between them. It's definitely a proud parent thing!

thanks for sharing
 

Xero

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IADad - I think that the age difference is special. ODS is just old enough to really understand what's going on and who YDS is to him. I marvel at the relationship I see between my boys as well. I have six younger siblings, but I was also adopted at an older age. Therefor, I know what it's like to have siblings, but I don't know what it's like growing up with them from the beginning. It really seems like a powerful thing and I love it. :)
 

bssage

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Oct 20, 2008
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I'm in. So cool to see how Cole look's after his sis.

I just love that stuff
 

parentastic

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Jul 22, 2011
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My brother and I are incredibly close. It wasn't always like this, however. We have 8 years of difference, and we grew up fighting a lot. As the older brother, I always wanted to be on my own and mind my own business and my brother was doing all he could to be with me, follow me around, etc.
He would also complain and lie about me to get me punished... :rolleyes:

Then I moved out around 20 years old, and suddenly we became the best of friends. Today we both purchased a condo in the same building so that I can help him with his parenting with my little nephew (3 years old now) and have developed a network of support that really is incredible. I wish every siblings to develop such a close bond!

From a parenting point of view, sibling rivalry is a difficult challenge and some tips can make a big difference. I recommend this amazing book: "Sibling Rivalry", from Faber &amp; Mazlish. A masterpiece about how to help siblings develop into a supportive and loving relationship, rather than a competitive or distant one. A must read.

Nicolas, Family life educator
 

Xero

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Thank you, Parentastic! I will most definitely be reading that book. :) I am also very close with one of my sisters (my youngest sister, out of the three) and we have four, almost five years between us. I definitely remember a time when things were rocky between us due mostly to the age difference, but now we are so close. I seriously value our relationship; she is like my best friend. I hope my boys can be that close one day!
 

parentastic

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Jul 22, 2011
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Xero said:
I am also very close with one of my sisters (my youngest sister, out of the three) and we have four, almost five years between us. I definitely remember a time when things were rocky between us due mostly to the age difference, but now we are so close. I seriously value our relationship; she is like my best friend. I hope my boys can be that close one day!
Yes, exactly!!! My brother and I often reflect on this, we are like, "wow, we are so lucky!" and we both feel very sad when we notice how rare it is around us; most of the time, as adults, we have lost touch with our brothers and sisters. They remain family, but they rarely are best friends, too.

:award:
 

Christopher

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Jul 27, 2011
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My grandsons are 13 and 15. I have watched them go through so many phases of relationship!

Just like anyone living in very close proximity over many years, their bond has had ups &amp; downs. From very close &amp; loving, to fighting, to envy, to imitation, I am sure you too will see it all over the years.

Allow me to just add one thing from personal experiences with my sister. If they come up in a loving household and ever have that genuine closeness exhibited in your photos, no matter what struggles come and go over the long haul the underlying bond remains and/or returns.
 

alter ego

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Oct 6, 2011
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I agree I think that siblings are so important! And Ive found that my kids emulate their older same sex siblings - dreading when my 12yo has boyfriends etc and my 6yos want to copy!
 

Xero

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parentastic said:
Yes, exactly!!! My brother and I often reflect on this, we are like, "wow, we are so lucky!" and we both feel very sad when we notice how rare it is around us; most of the time, as adults, we have lost touch with our brothers and sisters. They remain family, but they rarely are best friends, too.

:award:
It's so true! We are lucky. It's also sad that most adults lose touch with their siblings for the most part. I have to say that I am guilty of that with my other four siblings. I still see them and we get along, but we don't have any kind of real relationship anymore. :(

Christopher said:
My grandsons are 13 and 15. I have watched them go through so many phases of relationship!

Just like anyone living in very close proximity over many years, their bond has had ups &amp; downs. From very close &amp; loving, to fighting, to envy, to imitation, I am sure you too will see it all over the years.

Allow me to just add one thing from personal experiences with my sister. If they come up in a loving household and ever have that genuine closeness exhibited in your photos, no matter what struggles come and go over the long haul the underlying bond remains and/or returns.
Thank you for saying that! I think that every moment of closeness is so important for them - and their bond becomes even stronger with each one. :)

alter ego said:
I agree I think that siblings are so important! And Ive found that my kids emulate their older same sex siblings - dreading when my 12yo has boyfriends etc and my 6yos want to copy!
My husband and I are already imagining the future when YDS starts to copy ODS! He already thinks he's the coolest thing around, so I can't imagine that changing in the future. I'm sure that can't always be a good thing! haha But I'm sure it will still be cute and endearing in its own way.
 

jimrich

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Sep 13, 2014
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&lt;r&gt;&lt;QUOTE author="Xero;126760"&gt;&lt;s&gt;
Xero said:
&lt;/s&gt;
Don’t get me wrong, I know there is plenty of fighting and sibling rivalry ahead of me. It isn’t all rainbows and butterflies, but I am so happy to see that there are so many benefits to parenting brothers.&lt;e&gt;
&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;
It isn't ALL anything, IMO, but hopefully, it will be &lt;I&gt;&lt;s&gt;<I>&lt;/s&gt;MOSTLY&lt;e&gt;</I>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/I&gt; rainbows and butterflies.&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;
&lt;/s&gt;Don’t get me wrong, I know there is plenty of fighting and sibling rivalry ahead of me.&lt;e&gt;
&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
Hello: I am ever so happy that your kids like and love each other but I'm a little jealous that my parents FAILED to promote love and respect in our family which led to my 1 yr older brother bitterly hating my guts and savagely punishing me for many years after I was born and INVADED his perfect domain. We had the most vicious fist fights that ended with me “accidentally” breaking off half of his front tooth and our parents left his tooth that way for years afterwards to both torture and &lt;U&gt;&lt;s&gt;<U>&lt;/s&gt;SHAME&lt;e&gt;</U>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/U&gt; us. &lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
Our two grand kids are many years apart and are the best of friends now. It’s so beautiful to see kids getting along and breaking the standard concept that all siblings will “fight”. It’s just a stupid myth that adults have invented to HIDE the real problem – sibling rivalry is ALWAYS the dire consequence of inadequate parenting – at least it was in my family.&lt;br/&gt;
I am not a parent but I would say: &lt;B&gt;&lt;s&gt;&lt;/s&gt;PLEASE&lt;e&gt;&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/B&gt; do all you can to make sure that your kids NEVER have a reason to hate each other and engage in savage, bitter fights BEHIND your backs like us boys constantly did!&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
IMO, the attitudes and behaviors of siblings are mostly determined by the adults and older kids around them, and those attitudes need to begin with 100% love and respect in the family which only the parents can put there. So, if I saw sibling struggles happening, I’d examine my own parenting FIRST before going after my kids.&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
Good luck and happy parenting,&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
jim:)&lt;/r&gt;
 

jimrich

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Sep 13, 2014
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Father_0f_7 said:
Of course you are right and there will be bumps along the way but it won't matter because...well....they're brothers.
IMO, there will only be "bumps" if the kids DO NOT get training to be good to each other. Our parents totally FAILED to promote love and respect in my family so there were a lot of "bumps" and even worse things in the early life of my brother and I. <I>Bumps</I> do not automatically need to be there IF the parents or caregivers consistently model and promote respect in a kid's family.
jim