Would this be a deal-breaker for you?...

akmom

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May 22, 2012
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As some of you know, I live in a very rural area with long commutes. There's no public transportation, and it's hard to find carpools because people are very spread out. The chances of finding someone who lives near you AND is going to the same area at roughly the same time on a regular basis is low. But another parent at my daughter's school mentioned that one of the families there just moved to my neighborhood. So I got ahold of her, proposed the carpool idea, and we exchanged numbers. I hadn't met her before, but she was pleasant and I do know her kids. I also know her to be a regular volunteer at the school, which means she has to pass a yearly background check. So I wasn't really concerned.

Until I ran her name through a judicial database (publicly available). I hadn't actually known her name before I met her, so I didn't have a chance to run it before proposing the carpool. She has a LOT of traffic violations on her record. Obviously this wouldn't impact her eligibility to volunteer at the school, but it does matter to me if she is going to be driving my children.

Here's the deal. All the violations are minor, but there are a lot of them. Some of them were dismissed, others not. But I tend to believe that law enforcement catches only a small percentage of actual violations. Among them are failure to provide proof of mandatory insurance, passing in a no-passing zone, and driving without a license (though there is no record of a license revocation). There is also failure to register a vehicle, and parking tickets, which don't matter to me. But I always wonder what prompted the case in the first place. I mean, they don't random pull you over and check your registration here in the U.S. Usually something catches their attention first. So I don't know... I worry that she is not a responsible driver. A lot of these things can be oversights (forgetting your registration in another vehicle, forgetting to re-register a vehicle, going around a vehicle who is turning even though it's technically a no-passing zone, etc.) It's just the volume of citations that worries me. Would you let someone with a few traffic violations transport your child? Should I cancel the carpool?
 

singledad

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Oct 26, 2009
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For me, it would depend on the type of violations.

Parking tickets probably aren't a big deal. Speeding, skipping stop signs/lights are. Passing in a no-pass zone would be an instant deal breaker for me. Here, no pass zones mean that it's unsafe to pass 99% of the time, so that is definitely a sign of recklessness.

But then, I probably wouldn't trust a stranger to look after my child, even just for the trip home from school, in the first place. But that's just me. I've been called over-protective before (and I'm ok with that).
 

TabascoNatalie

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Jun 1, 2009
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I agree with Singledad. Parking, insurance, etc. are administrative violations, not impacting safety, while reckless driving is really alarming.
However, how old is she and how many years is she driving? Maybe those "sins" are a thing of the past? For example, i know many older drivers, who had been "boy-racers" as they were young, however, they grew up.
 

cybele

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Feb 27, 2012
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Driving without a licence without having a licence previously revoked means that she didn't have it on her, I've been charged with that twice because I am an idiot who keeps leaving my wallet at home when I go to pick up the kids.

How far back do these date though? If some of these are teenage mistakes it wouldn't play on my mind too much, if, however, they all came about within a short period of time, that would make me concerned.
 
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bssage

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Oct 20, 2008
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For me How recent would be a big deal breaker. I had many significant infractions in my youth. But now I have had a clean record for about twenty years (probably just jinxed myself). I would pay as much attention to the dates of the offenses as the offenses themselves.
 

pancras

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Jan 15, 2013
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I have had a seemly random registration/license check in the U.S. It was a checkpoint, not a pullover. Not sure why they were doing it.
 

pancras

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Jan 15, 2013
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In our state, I would look at the points. I drive a transit authority vanpool and they allow drivers to have 1 point, so you don't need a clean record. They probably have to allow 1 point because it would eliminate too many drivers otherwise.

But, I think you need to decide for yourself. It's a very personal thing and you have to live with the consequences.

If I read your message correctly passing in a no-passing zone is the only direct indicator of unsafe driving. The rest sounds like something vitamin R (ritalin) might cure.
 

Mom2all

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Nov 25, 2009
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With the majority of the charges seeming to be from simple forgetfulness, like not having insurance papers or her liscense in the car with her... or parking, I don't know that it would be a deal breaker.

If your concerned.. figure out a reason to go for a ride.. with her driving, so you can see for yourself.
 

mom2many

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Jul 3, 2008
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I really had to think this one through. As bssage said, how far apart are they?

The no insurance/license wouldn't be a big deal. This could be any number of things, and if there was no conviction it most likely means she had them, just not on her. Registration is easy to catch, cops often randomly run plates and that's were they would catch that. My aunt actually went for a year before it was caught lol

The passing in a no passing zone. I want to say this would be a deal breaker, but I've done it. You can only sit behind a swather/tractor for so long while it goes 10 MPH and not pass them. Then there are the people who take 2 hours to make a turn, ugh. So, is this a deal breaker? Not 100%, I mean does she drive with her kids like that? I know that I am much more cautious when I have the kids in the car.....

So there is my not much help answer lol
 

akmom

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May 22, 2012
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Okay, I went back and checked the dates. All the citations are between 6 and 8 years ago. So... not ancient history, but before she would have had kids.

The passing in the no-passing zone was the red flag for me. Yes, we've all passed those tractors that go 10 mph, and even in a no-passing zone you'd probably have enough to time to safely go around something that slow. But... what's the chances that she'd get caught doing it, and that an officer would be that big of a jerk to cite her for it? My experience with "passing in a no-passing zone" has been riding with people who definitely had road rage. And were in denial about it. Gosh, I hate riding with people like that!

I guess I could try carpooling with her on a field trip if we are both chaperoning. But it seems like it would be more appropriate for me to offer her a ride, rather than offer for her to give me one! We won't be starting the carpool this year anyway because there's like 2 days of school left. And she invited us over for a playdate this summer, so I imagine she wants to get to know me before committing to a carpool as well. Thanks for the input; these databases are just enough information to worry me, but not enough to give me a good idea of what kind of driver someone is. None of them are obvious deal-breakers, like reckless driving or a DUI.
 

cybele

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Feb 27, 2012
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6-8 years ago I wouldn't be bothered with honestly. The vast majority of them are petty offenses and if she hasn't had any since I think it is safe to say that she has lifted her game.

We didn't all start out as perfect drivers.

And yes, police officers will fine you for passing a tractor if they catch you. I have the demerit points to prove it.
 

mom2many

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Jul 3, 2008
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I agree that 6-8 years ago is a long enough time to let them go. Reckless and young seem to go hand in hand. Sam has inattentive driving on her record from her accident, even though the lady pulled out in front of her from no where. They take cells and check them, so it wasn't that, but because the police couldn't prove who's fault it was both drivers got a ticket. Looks bad but really wasn't her fault.
 

babybibsplus

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Jan 25, 2016
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See how far back they go. Also speak to other parents that no this person and see what they think of her and if they trust her. Also if your kids are old enough they can tell you if she is a bad driver and if so then you can stop the carpool