Would You Hire A Male Babysitter?...
- Thread starter aurays
- Start date
I think it is a highly situational thing. Just because a male babysits does not mean he is irresponsible or a child molester. On the other hand the risk is higher that something could happen to your child if you don't know the person and have not investigated their background. 90% of abuse happens by a family member or by someone you know.
My daughters boyfriend helps his mom with her daycare but he is a huge teddybear type that would probably never hurt a fly. But you just never know.
My other daughters grandpa got put in jail after years of abusing children as a foster parent. We never suspected a thing, he seemed so innocent and kind.
Who can you trust? TRUST NO ONE.
Teach your children to report any wrong doings to you immediately despite what ever any stranger might tell them. Teach them to protect themselves by talking to them and being open about their questions about their bodies and what is appropriate and what is not.
I would only use a licensed daycare provider and one that has at least two providers who are not family. That way you know that they will report each other if something was fishy.
Personally I would not use any home daycare myself. After finding a strange couple of hairs in my daughters diaper and one sticking out of her vagina from one home provider I promptly reported the daycare and had my baby girl checked out at a hospital. The home daycare provided an excuse that a cat slept on the changing table but I know a pubic hair when I see one. Luckily we learned there was no sign of any penetration. But it left me reeling and unsure so I removed her from the daycare and only put her in public daycare situations with lots of providers who are monitored.
Another situation with my son was that his dad (after we separated) put him in the care of a male he knew. My son somehow got into a lot of videos he had of pornography. Apparently the pornography was of gay males. The man reportedly did nothing to my son. The man claims my son was getting into his things. Was he watching him well, not well enough or was my son conveniently being primed for something perhaps. I will never know but my son told me he found weird videos in the mans closet that had males doing weird sexual things to males which was a good tip off that I needed to let his dad know it wasn't the best place for my son. I told his dad to remove him immediately from the situation. Just because the man had male gay porn does that mean he was a child molester. Not very likely. However not impossible.
But either way, I think a child is just as much in danger of being abused by a male or female in any situation. Often parents are left in difficult situations where they have to trust strangers due to lack of money, lack of family help and being in foreign places while on military duty. There are numerous situations that a child could be in that lead to child abuse. Most often children are abused by a family member or someone they know.
I say "trust no one" and do your homework carefully. Ask for references that are not family members. You can NOT trust anyone so DO your homework. Check references. Or find the most affordable licensed daycare and ask for references.
Care.com has a good method of allowing you to choose babysitters in your area who have or do not have experience. They may or may not have references and they allow their clients to get background investigations/criminal checks on providers. There are a lot of college students and nannies there. There are even providers for other types of care but the good thing is you can at least see what other parents are saying about the provider.
Be diligent and do your best to check a person's history if you can. Avoid home daycares when ever possible unless you have a good lot of references.
A criminal check is not that expensive, just do it. It's worth knowing.
This data is outdated but worth looking at
Analysis of NIBRS data on crimes against
juveniles (ages 0 to 17) reveals the following
information: (from 2001)
(https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/189102.pdf)
◆ Babysitters are responsible for a relatively
small portion of the reported
criminal offenses against children:
4.2 percent of all offenses for children
under age 6—less than the percentage
accounted for by family members or
strangers.
◆ Among the reported offenses that babysitters
commit, sex crimes outnumber
physical assaults nearly two to one.
◆ Children most at risk of physical
assaults by babysitters are younger
(ages 1–3) than those at risk of sex
crimes (ages 3–5).
◆ Males constitute the majority of sexoffending
babysitters reported to the
police (77 percent); females make up
the majority of physical assaulters
(64 percent).
◆ Juvenile offenders are responsible for
nearly half the babysitter sex crimes
known to police (48 percent) but only
15 percent of the physical assaults.
◆ Babysitter offenses rarely result in
death, but victims of babysitter crimes
known to police are more likely than
other child crime victims to suffer an
injury (75 percent versus 53 percent
for victims under age 6).
I am sure the statistics are even slightly different now since reporting is less taboo in recent times.
I would also look at the babysitter for other problems, like do they have any psychological problems, are they from a stable home if they are a teen, do they have any licenses, college credits in child care, is their background check ok?, stuff like that, are they being medicated for bipolar or schizophrenia, you know just to be safe. (I have a bipolar son who cannot care for his child for long periods, I have joint custody of his son so I know it can be difficult for them).
Personally I would not use a male babysitter just because the child does not have a male in his life.
Do your homework parents. That's all I can say. Your child's well being is very important.
My daughters boyfriend helps his mom with her daycare but he is a huge teddybear type that would probably never hurt a fly. But you just never know.
My other daughters grandpa got put in jail after years of abusing children as a foster parent. We never suspected a thing, he seemed so innocent and kind.
Who can you trust? TRUST NO ONE.
Teach your children to report any wrong doings to you immediately despite what ever any stranger might tell them. Teach them to protect themselves by talking to them and being open about their questions about their bodies and what is appropriate and what is not.
I would only use a licensed daycare provider and one that has at least two providers who are not family. That way you know that they will report each other if something was fishy.
Personally I would not use any home daycare myself. After finding a strange couple of hairs in my daughters diaper and one sticking out of her vagina from one home provider I promptly reported the daycare and had my baby girl checked out at a hospital. The home daycare provided an excuse that a cat slept on the changing table but I know a pubic hair when I see one. Luckily we learned there was no sign of any penetration. But it left me reeling and unsure so I removed her from the daycare and only put her in public daycare situations with lots of providers who are monitored.
Another situation with my son was that his dad (after we separated) put him in the care of a male he knew. My son somehow got into a lot of videos he had of pornography. Apparently the pornography was of gay males. The man reportedly did nothing to my son. The man claims my son was getting into his things. Was he watching him well, not well enough or was my son conveniently being primed for something perhaps. I will never know but my son told me he found weird videos in the mans closet that had males doing weird sexual things to males which was a good tip off that I needed to let his dad know it wasn't the best place for my son. I told his dad to remove him immediately from the situation. Just because the man had male gay porn does that mean he was a child molester. Not very likely. However not impossible.
But either way, I think a child is just as much in danger of being abused by a male or female in any situation. Often parents are left in difficult situations where they have to trust strangers due to lack of money, lack of family help and being in foreign places while on military duty. There are numerous situations that a child could be in that lead to child abuse. Most often children are abused by a family member or someone they know.
I say "trust no one" and do your homework carefully. Ask for references that are not family members. You can NOT trust anyone so DO your homework. Check references. Or find the most affordable licensed daycare and ask for references.
Care.com has a good method of allowing you to choose babysitters in your area who have or do not have experience. They may or may not have references and they allow their clients to get background investigations/criminal checks on providers. There are a lot of college students and nannies there. There are even providers for other types of care but the good thing is you can at least see what other parents are saying about the provider.
Be diligent and do your best to check a person's history if you can. Avoid home daycares when ever possible unless you have a good lot of references.
A criminal check is not that expensive, just do it. It's worth knowing.
This data is outdated but worth looking at
Analysis of NIBRS data on crimes against
juveniles (ages 0 to 17) reveals the following
information: (from 2001)
(https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/189102.pdf)
◆ Babysitters are responsible for a relatively
small portion of the reported
criminal offenses against children:
4.2 percent of all offenses for children
under age 6—less than the percentage
accounted for by family members or
strangers.
◆ Among the reported offenses that babysitters
commit, sex crimes outnumber
physical assaults nearly two to one.
◆ Children most at risk of physical
assaults by babysitters are younger
(ages 1–3) than those at risk of sex
crimes (ages 3–5).
◆ Males constitute the majority of sexoffending
babysitters reported to the
police (77 percent); females make up
the majority of physical assaulters
(64 percent).
◆ Juvenile offenders are responsible for
nearly half the babysitter sex crimes
known to police (48 percent) but only
15 percent of the physical assaults.
◆ Babysitter offenses rarely result in
death, but victims of babysitter crimes
known to police are more likely than
other child crime victims to suffer an
injury (75 percent versus 53 percent
for victims under age 6).
I am sure the statistics are even slightly different now since reporting is less taboo in recent times.
I would also look at the babysitter for other problems, like do they have any psychological problems, are they from a stable home if they are a teen, do they have any licenses, college credits in child care, is their background check ok?, stuff like that, are they being medicated for bipolar or schizophrenia, you know just to be safe. (I have a bipolar son who cannot care for his child for long periods, I have joint custody of his son so I know it can be difficult for them).
Personally I would not use a male babysitter just because the child does not have a male in his life.
Do your homework parents. That's all I can say. Your child's well being is very important.
Last edited:
<r><QUOTE author="BellaBabyBoutiq;147632"><s>
<br/>
Wow! Thank you BellaBabyBoutiq for the long explanation. I'll have a look at the statistics you have given us <E>
</E></r>
</e></QUOTE>BellaBabyBoutiq said:</s>I think it is a highly situational thing. Just because a male babysits does not mean he is irresponsible or a child molester. On the other hand the risk is higher that something could happen to your child if you don't know the person and have not investigated their background. 90% of abuse happens by a family member or by someone you know.<br/>
<br/>
My daughters boyfriend helps his mom with her daycare but he is a huge teddybear type that would probably never hurt a fly. But you just never know.<br/>
<br/>
My other daughters grandpa got put in jail after years of abusing children as a foster parent. We never suspected a thing, he seemed so innocent and kind. <br/>
<br/>
Who can you trust? TRUST NO ONE.<br/>
<br/>
Teach your children to report any wrong doings to you immediately despite what ever any stranger might tell them. Teach them to protect themselves by talking to them and being open about their questions about their bodies and what is appropriate and what is not.<br/>
<br/>
I would only use a licensed daycare provider and one that has at least two providers who are not family. That way you know that they will report each other if something was fishy.<br/>
<br/>
Personally I would not use any home daycare myself. After finding a strange couple of hairs in my daughters diaper and one sticking out of her vagina from one home provider I promptly reported the daycare and had my baby girl checked out at a hospital. The home daycare provided an excuse that a cat slept on the changing table but I know a pubic hair when I see one. Luckily we learned there was no sign of any penetration. But it left me reeling and unsure so I removed her from the daycare and only put her in public daycare situations with lots of providers who are monitored.<br/>
<br/>
Another situation with my son was that his dad (after we separated) put him in the care of a male he knew. My son somehow got into a lot of videos he had of pornography. Apparently the pornography was of gay males. The man reportedly did nothing to my son. The man claims my son was getting into his things. Was he watching him well, not well enough or was my son conveniently being primed for something perhaps. I will never know but my son told me he found weird videos in the mans closet that had males doing weird sexual things to males which was a good tip off that I needed to let his dad know it wasn't the best place for my son. I told his dad to remove him immediately from the situation. Just because the man had male gay porn does that mean he was a child molester. Not very likely. However not impossible.<br/>
<br/>
But either way, I think a child is just as much in danger of being abused by a male or female in any situation. Often parents are left in difficult situations where they have to trust strangers due to lack of money, lack of family help and being in foreign places while on military duty. There are numerous situations that a child could be in that lead to child abuse. Most often children are abused by a family member or someone they know. <br/>
<br/>
I say "trust no one" and do your homework carefully. Ask for references that are not family members. You can NOT trust anyone so DO your homework. Check references. Or find the most affordable licensed daycare and ask for references.<br/>
<br/>
Care.com has a good method of allowing you to choose babysitters in your area who have or do not have experience. They may or may not have references and they allow their clients to get background investigations/criminal checks on providers. There are a lot of college students and nannies there. There are even providers for other types of care but the good thing is you can at least see what other parents are saying about the provider.<br/>
<br/>
Be diligent and do your best to check a person's history if you can. Avoid home daycares when ever possible unless you have a good lot of references.<br/>
A criminal check is not that expensive, just do it. It's worth knowing.<br/>
<br/>
This data is outdated but worth looking at<br/>
Analysis of NIBRS data on crimes against<br/>
juveniles (ages 0 to 17) reveals the following<br/>
information: (from 2001)<br/>
<br/>
(<URL url="https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/189102.pdf"><s></s>https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/189102.pdf<e></e></URL>
<br/>
&#9670; Babysitters are responsible for a relatively<br/>
small portion of the reported<br/>
criminal offenses against children:<br/>
4.2 percent of all offenses for children<br/>
under age 6—less than the percentage<br/>
accounted for by family members or<br/>
strangers.<br/>
&#9670; Among the reported offenses that babysitters<br/>
commit, sex crimes outnumber<br/>
physical assaults nearly two to one.<br/>
&#9670; Children most at risk of physical<br/>
assaults by babysitters are younger<br/>
(ages 1–3) than those at risk of sex<br/>
crimes (ages 3–5).<br/>
&#9670; Males constitute the majority of sexoffending<br/>
babysitters reported to the<br/>
police (77 percent); females make up<br/>
the majority of physical assaulters<br/>
(64 percent).<br/>
&#9670; Juvenile offenders are responsible for<br/>
nearly half the babysitter sex crimes<br/>
known to police (48 percent) but only<br/>
15 percent of the physical assaults.<br/>
&#9670; Babysitter offenses rarely result in<br/>
death, but victims of babysitter crimes<br/>
known to police are more likely than<br/>
other child crime victims to suffer an<br/>
injury (75 percent versus 53 percent<br/>
for victims under age 6).<br/>
<br/>
I am sure the statistics are even slightly different now since reporting is less taboo in recent times.<br/>
<br/>
I would also look at the babysitter for other problems, like do they have any psychological problems, are they from a stable home if they are a teen, do they have any licenses, college credits in child care, is their background check ok?, stuff like that, are they being medicated for bipolar or schizophrenia, you know just to be safe. (I have a bipolar son who cannot care for his child for long periods, I have joint custody of his son so I know it can be difficult for them).<br/>
<br/>
Personally I would not use a male babysitter just because the child does not have a male in his life.<br/>
<br/>
Do your homework parents. That's all I can say. Your child's well being is very important.<e>
<br/>
Wow! Thank you BellaBabyBoutiq for the long explanation. I'll have a look at the statistics you have given us <E>
</E></r>